To be miffed about a guilt trip from Ds Beavers Group

[cheekybean]

DS attends a Beavers group. Recently the leader has left and no permanent replacement has been found. The group has now said parents are to take it over or it will close.

When I dropped ds off tonight, i was approached by four staff each lecturing me on how my child will miss out due to parents being selfish and treating it like childcare. I ended up feeling like the closure was entirely my fault!! I picked up my newborn baby, my 4yr old dd and said cheerio to ds1. They approached and lectured every parent, leaving us all pissed off. The reason i let my ds go to beavers was to boost his confidence and me being there would defeat the object.

I know that these groups are run by volunteers but surelyit is not a case of a parent simply taking over. There must be planning, crb checks, badge activities, trip planning, risk assessements etc etc. I ran a playgroup so i know its not just an hour of your time.

Am i being unreasonable to be annoyed? I have contacted another group tonight to see if ds can go there until he starts cubs next year

It does sound very heavy-handed. Voluntary groups (football and rugby etc as well as scouts and guides) are suffering the 'fall out' of families with all available parents working, and that work often isn't 9-5 anymore. Difficult to run a rainbow unit when you are literally at work in the evening, or run football coaching when you work at the weekend. Ultimately if no one runs it then it will stop but every parent has to make the decision on what is right for their family- and that might be that 'no beavers is a shame but not the end of the world.'

You're seeing it as bullying - they're probably thinking "Right, we've put out a general call for volunteers and had no luck, we need to talk to people individually." They might not have phrased it as well as they could, but people ARE treating it as free childcare - and you can bet that the parents who are too busy to possibly help out will be the same ones complaining when the unit shuts down. Lots of the leaders will have other children, lots will be busy with jobs/other volunteering, so you're hardly in a unique situation. Fair enough if you genuinely feel you can't manage it at the moment, but if you want your DS to still be able to go to Beavers, you can't really get mad at them for asking everyone if they can help!

None of us have time cheekybean, but someone has to make time. And this is also one of your own children's afterschool commitments.

It was a last ditch, desperate effort to try and stop the group from closing. They wanted to make sure that everyone was crystal clear about the possible future of the group, so that nobody could wait until after it had shut before saying "Well, if only they had asked me".

I was a leader for 12 years, and spent a good number of those also as a leader trainer - you are quite right OP there is a process to go through, DBS checks, interview, and then training as well covering a wide range of things from activities to policies and more.

Leaders are in short supply, and although there has been a reasonable effort by the Scout Association to encourage more flexible volunteering, it's still rather hard to get that working in practice for all kinds of reasons. I am sorry you feel as though you've been bullied by the other leaders, that goes very much against the Scout Association policy. Parents rotas are often a valuable source of help and future leaders, but can be difficult to maintain as well. I hope the Colony do find another leader soon, but if not there may well be another group near by that your DC could go to.

I used to help before ds2 was born. I would help now but i dont want to lead as i dont think i can give the time and i dont think its fair to take a baby out when its his bedtime and hes not quiet about it. You wouldnt be happy if that was the way your childrens groups were run would you? There is no-one else to help. Of the twenty kids who go, i was the only volunteer. None of the beavers folks want to take the group or help, so it would just be me on my own

I don't agree with bullying people into volunteering, it always seems heavy handed. I've been a Beaver Leader, and stepped down from running a group recently. It was a huge commitment, and I wouldn't recommend doing it unless you're sure.

On the other hand, apparently talking to people directly is the best way to get more volunteers. IME, all people involved are extremely busy and caught up in stuff too so it can be a little bit frustrating when you're running yourself ragged to be there and someone is explaining that they are so busy. I wish I had had the good sense not to get involved though so I can't blame them!

Well you can't possibly do it on your own, even if you wanted to do it. Guess you'd better look round for a new activity for your ds.

As another thought, maybe suggest the group holds an open evening, invite loads of local people along from other voluntary groups or clubs - a sort of 'come and find out what Scouting is all about' and see whether there's any interested folk who may consider getting involved?

The Scout Assocation DBS process is rigorous - in addition to the 'usual' stuff that most would consider a bar to working with young people, they will also look at cautions, any offence or caution involving young people and ban 'inappropriate' people without hesitation. There are also very strict policies on ratios, never being alone with a young person and so on, with a well defined and laid out process to follow if any one has any concerns at all.

It is frustrating when you are a volunteer and no one else will help. I have found that often those who volunteer, are the busiest people I know. It is rarely those who have lots of time who volunteer.

It is not 'treating it as free childcare' to allow your child to go to an activity/group they want to attend. That's such a ridiculous thing to say. Getting them there & picking them up leaves you sod all time to do anything much - bloody inefficient plan for childcare!

Parents are allowed to not have the time or interest in running such groups. If the group is unable to run through the lack of volunteers to run it, then so be it.

I speak as an ex Brownie, Guide & Ranger Leader & someone who has/does/will volunteer for various activities, camps & fundraising etc. However, I am no longer interested in being involved in the running of those clubs. I have no issue with other parents not volunteering at all.

The "staff" were bullying you?
Or were the volunteers desperately trying to get extra help?
For your (and anyone else who doesn't know) information the leaders at all scout, cub and beaver groups are all unpaid volunteers, as they are in guides and brownies. They are all DBS checked, paid for by HQ at guiding or scouting. At the moment, the checks are coming back in around 3 weeks or less.
All groups have to have the correct ratio of adults to children, depending on the age group, sometimes older ones in explorers or Rangers (guides) can help, but unless they are over 18 they don't count to the ratios. Without the correct ratio, the group can't meet.
All leaders have training, organised by the area or region. Oh, and yes it can be a lot more than an hour a week! However, if all you can do is an hour, then turning up just to help at the meetings is much appreciated by leaders. Most groups do have some sort of parents Rota.

The problem is, it is run by volunteers and if they don't ask they wont get a helper. Literally everyone is very busy and struggles with time..they were probably getting a bit desperate so handled it badly. Also whilst you need a team to do the planning etc, you can just have a suitable parent helper be a body for ratios if you already have that team so it can just be the hour is some instances. You don't need to feel guilty. You can't do it and there is nothing wrong with that. But you might have been able to so they asked.

When my Ds went to beavers there was a parent rota.

I run a thriving brownie pack. In the begining I had to beg fellow guiders to help me run it as we had no volunteers. I've allowed a couple of my team to go and help at another local pack where the leaders have literally left the full unit in the lurch. There was a message put out to parents that they needed to set up a rota or they may have to suspend the unit. Still only 2 parents volunteered.

They will be desperate but they have possible gone about it the wrong way.

Surely they are only appealing to you all for the sake of the DC. They've tried asking less directly and not found any volunteers, so that leaves them with either closing the group, or having a last ditch attempt on the parents before closing the group. You're annoyed by the campaign but you'd also probably be annoyed if they'd given up and closed it already too. They are between a rock and a hard place. They might as well pick the option that gives more chance of keeping the group running for the kids.

Pressed post too soon.
Finally, it is possible to run groups, work full time and have children. Looking at our Brownie, Guide and Ranger group, there is one retired (but still working) farmer, one student on a gap year and the rest all work full time, with children, including babies.
I know not everyone wants to volunteer, fair enough. But please don't moan when you are asked to help out. Sometimes it feels like some not all parents think there is a central pool of "staff" that can be called on as necessary.

My son's cub leader left. The unit was then run for the next year (at which timer more permanent leaders stepped in) by a group of about 12 parents who spread the workload of running the unit such that every parent only had to attend meetings about once a half term. I don't think something like this - which I think sounds like what you were asked to do is too onerous, even if you do have smaller children. Of course it only worked because quite so many parents offered to help - working out they couldn't rely on one or two individuals to keep the group going.

Well if no one steps up, then it closes. You can't complain about something closing if you aren't willing to do anything to help.

The problem with these things, and why many close, is that no one is willing to do anything. If all the parents got together and said 'ok, we'll all do one week' then it's not a huge time commitment, and the club stays open. So many parents think these things are just babysitting for them, but forget that it takes volunteers to actually run the clubs.

Tbf you can't really do that with a Beaver pack Midnite. Leaders have to be properly trained which is a big time commitment and not really practical to have 20 leaders.

Depends if they're asking for you to be on a parent rota which will be once or twice a term, you or your DH can do it. That's reasonable. Parents are usually extra bodies for ratio purposes. Some will come in with their own skills (one if my Brownie parents has run some fab things for us related to her profession) or help with games or activities. Yabu if that's all they're asking for. You can make sure you are busy with other children and you and DS can ignore each other for an hour or two.

If they're trying to get you to be a full leader then yanbu, that requires more commitment than parents realise (which is why we're in short supply).

If they have one or two leaders they can run but will rely heavily on parent helpers. It's extremely annoying hearing everyone's excuses.

We had a Rita when DS was at Beavers too. Same as a PP mentioned. Everyone was given plenty of notice so that they could attend or get someone else to.

But then when I helped run Rainbows I tried to do the same thing but like you, everyone was 'too busy'. Funnily enough they could organise cover to go down the pub...

Ha ha. Rota. Nobody called Rita!!

We've had to do another appeal for help at Beavers this week. Again there have been no volunteers- even on a fortnightly system. We can't even get someone to volunteer to sell uniform for half an hour a term. However, lots of parents can find time to complain when we are stuck in the hut each week as the rations needed mean we can't leave.

I chose to volunteer each week, I feel scouting is a vital opportunity which should be available to all and I'd hate the section to close. However, as DS is no longer involved in scouting I'd give it all over to another volunteer.