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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give him a shovel and tell him to do the weeding himself?

14 replies

malificent7 · 08/02/2017 12:04

I work ft but i tool the day off yesterday as was sick with virus.
I told my dad i didnt want any visitors as was knackered and wanted space.
He came round anyway for a chat. That went ok but just before he left he dropped in that the garden needs weeding. I know the fucking garden needs weeding. In fact i love a spot of gardening but i work ft with a small child. My dp dosnt live with us. When i pointed this out he said " I know what it's like... i worked for 40 years! ".

Aggggr! I do kmow this but aibu to feel that he came round to specifically point this out. I rekon i will here this line repeatedly from now on!

OP posts:
Original poster
malificent7 · 08/02/2017 12:06

And tbi i dont want him to do the weeding for me... i just dont want him to pop over uninvited to point out any jobs thst need doing then to pop out the line... " I know what it's like.... i worked for 40 years! " Aaaaggggrrr!!

OP posts:
PerryCoxHair · 08/02/2017 12:18

I hear you! My dad gives me equally "good advice"
I am a single mum of 4. When my dad used to get home from work (when I was growing up) he was literally handed his pipe and slippers from my mum and tea was on the table. He did bugger all housework wise. Yet he comes round and moans if there is any dust on my skirting boards or my lawn needs cutting. I am doing it all myself and I can't afford a fucking lawn mower so I borrow my neighbours! He comes round weekly and takes great joy in pointing my latest failing or a diy job that I have not got round to doing yet. BUT he never did diy, he left it to my mum (who also worked full time) and he never even fucking offers to help!

Phew - sorry don't even know if that all makes sense but bloody hell it felt good to write it down!

Original poster
malificent7 · 08/02/2017 12:29

Oh gosh... im not the only one then! If i was retired id probably have loads of time to visit relatives and point tasks that need doing for them!

Sometimes it's gard to even notice tasks.

Until recently him and his gf would pop over whilst i was making tea.... uninvited!

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 08/02/2017 12:32

'Thank you for sharing that with me' said with a deadpan face can be used to good effect.

Or just smile and nod.

PerryCoxHair · 08/02/2017 12:36

Nope not just you (unless we have the same dad! Grin )

I am ashamed to admit I tried to turn the tables and when I went round to dads I pointed out a few things. It didn't go well and instead just encouraged him to up the ante against me and my lifestyle

(apologies for following rant) He also moans that my upstairs windows haven't been cleaned. I can't afford a window cleaner and I don't have a ladder to do them myself. Still he tells me off. Every. Fucking. Week.

Original poster
malificent7 · 08/02/2017 12:48

I might have to move to Australia or something

OP posts:
FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 08/02/2017 12:52

My stock response to 'helpful' Hmm things like this is, 'thanks for the feedback' Grin

Both my parents can be a bit like this, they both work but of course they don't have three children to ferry about or do homework with anymore.

Bless them, they mean well (you have no idea how long and what an effort it has been to move my thinking from being really annoyed to that!!)

Vanillaradio · 08/02/2017 13:49

I get this sort of thing from my dm. What she fails to remember is that she didn't actually work until I went to school and then mornings only in term time till I was at secondary school. Just smile and ignore!

PerryCoxHair · 08/02/2017 13:50

My dsis moved to Australia. Dad visited her. He now emails her weekly about her back yard and windows.

Maybe the moon?

Cosmicglitterpug · 08/02/2017 14:00

Don't tell him you're off work again!

I'd pull a face and say something rude if my family pointed out my house keeping flaws. Cheeky fuckers.

user1486562272 · 08/02/2017 14:02

My Mum pointed out one day that my voile net panels needed washing because they "didn't look very white". I took great pleasure in letting her know that was because they were in fact ivory. The same colour as they were WHEN I FUCKING BOUGHT THEM.

abbsisspartacus · 08/02/2017 14:08

My dad's tried this your lawn needs cutting I tell him where the mower is if he wants a drink and I'm busy I tell him where the kettle is too Grin and to be fair he does do it occasionally until he got ill Sad

bertsdinner · 08/02/2017 15:02

My mum does this. She will just come out with random comments like "your skirting boards need wiping", or "your car needs washing". I just nod and smile.

Original poster
malificent7 · 08/02/2017 15:29

I would just nod and smile if ot didnt come with other comments such as:
*I know what it's like ( you've never been a single parent so no you don' t)
*Well i would have never got myself into your situation.
*What time do you have to get up? We get up at 10am. (I get up 6. )

  • You should be more organised (when universal credits fucked up my payments)
  • I worked for 40 years ( Id love to have s decent career instead of short term contracts. )

I could go on. Yes i have a chip on my shoulder!!

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