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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how many best friends / friends you have?

78 replies

SingingInTheRainstorm · 08/02/2017 08:16

There's often posts on MN about fallings out between friends. Was wondering how many people you have in your inner circle, friends and best friends plus OH if you have one.

Also are they people you've known ages or are fairly new friendships. Is there anyone that makes you want to scream? What kind of stuff do you do?

OP posts:

katiegg · 08/02/2017 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babychamcherryb · 08/02/2017 09:43

Friends from dance classes I've know since j was 11 who are really good friends decades later.

Friends from going out to the pub / clubs etc I've known since about 14 still great friends.

Loads of people I've got to know over the years who I really like just haven't got to know well.

Out of the first two groups friends that are really close who we talk to even if just texting several times a day and meet up for coffee / lunch other stuff several times a week.

Very lucky I love my friends don't really fall out except fell out badly with one a few years ago who I just cut off. No time for falling out making friends I ain't got time for arseholes

Chasingsquirrels · 08/02/2017 09:43

I am sorry to hear of your accident @StarUtopia. Shit has hit the fan in my life, with my exH deciding our marriage was over, and now with my DH's terminal cancer - and I very much know who is there for me. Luckily they are same people who were my friends before, plus another who i didn't think was very close but who has been amazing both times. I have also been surprised by people who I'd only really seen as acquaintances being willing to help out when needed.

TwatteryFlowers · 08/02/2017 09:46

None.
I go to a club once a week and am a member of a few facebook groups as part of my hobby (photos) but I rarely talk to anyone.
I don't have friends from work because I work all over the place.
I lost touch with people I knew from school and others I met at university because everyone moved away and I'm rubbish with keeping in touch.
If I socialise with anyone other than dh it is with my mum or sister.
Dh has friends but doesn't really see them very often and I see them even less because I don't feel I have anything in common with them.
I don't feel lonely and don't really wish I had friends. I enjoy my own company and look forward to being alone. I always have. If I need help then I have plenty of family members who would be there in a flash - I've helped them on lots of occasions and they do return the favour when needs be.

SeriousCreativeBlock · 08/02/2017 09:52

I have one best friend who's local to me and who I see a couple of times a week. A couple of other friends who I see less frequently but still very close, school friends who I see a few times a year for a catch up, and friends at university. DP is another best friend though, and DSIL and I are very close.

wishparry · 08/02/2017 09:54

I had 5 best friends at school.but all of them moved away from our home town.two of these I see once or twice a year,the other three I can't remember when I last saw them,but we send the occasional text to each other.
It's quite sad really as I have never been able to make close friendships with anybody after my close friends moved away.
I've tried making friends with other mum's,but I am a sahm,and most acquaintances I've tried getting friendlier with work,so it's hard to keep up those friendships when they are always busy.
I did bump into another friend from school in the supermarket yesterday.she is also a sahm.we swapped numbers,so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we stay in touch and become firm friends.
it can be quite lonely.

cushioncovers · 08/02/2017 09:54

2 very close friends, 4 good friends but there would be limits as to what I could ask for if I were in desperate times. And then 2 female family members that I love dearly and could rely on for pretty much anything. I consider myself pretty lucky to have these people in my life, although it is give and take, and you have to invest time and effort to keep it a two way street.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 08/02/2017 09:59

I have DH and my mum who I'm very close to.

DH and I have a group of 15 or so friends who we meet up with once a month or so and have a weekend away with most years. I see the women for an additional night out once a month, plus ad hoc coffees, spa days etc in smaller groups when we can.

I have 4 or 5 "mum friends" each of whom I see most weeks in the day - soft play or whatever - with the occasional night out without the kids.

We have 3 couples with children similar ages that we are friends with. We have been on holidays with 2 of them and will be going "same place same time " wih the third this year. Two of the women are my best friends; I love them. I'm not as close to the third but she's still a great woman and a lovely friend.

I know I am very lucky to have so many people I like and who seem to like me too. Much of it comes from having stayed in one area since childhood.

Skatingonthinice16 · 08/02/2017 10:04

None.
I used to have but I've had PND for twelve months and I've discovered actually people don't want to know if you are as ill as I am. So now I have none at all. And since I prefer not to leave the house anymore it suits me fine. I wouldn't see anyone anyway.

WhingingTulip · 08/02/2017 10:05

None outside of DP, mum and sometimes sister. I'm an invisible person.

RockyBird · 08/02/2017 10:07

A few friends I adore and would do anything for. A few more I meet for lunch/drinks now and again. The mums in my younger Dd's class are a sociable bunch and every month or so there is a night out which is fun.

Before kids/marriage my friends were a huge part of my life but I was dropped like a hot potato when I was pregnant. These were people I'd been on holiday with, spoke to every day, days and nights out every week and in one instance got on a plane to get to a friend who was suicidal after a bad break up. I was burned there and friends other than the couple I'm very close to are kept at arm's length. If they're alright with me, I'm alright with them. Any bitching or hassle, I'm off.

Bloopbleep · 08/02/2017 10:07

None. I know hundreds of people but none that actually make any effort to be actual friends. I stopped making effort when it wasn't reciprocated. My oh and my daughter are my friends and I have two dogs who never complain when I have a rangy moan.

Screwinthetuna · 08/02/2017 10:09

I have one 'best friend' who I've known for 18 years and I can call and share intimate secrets with/moan to. I don't see her that often though.
I have an old friend who I meet every couple of months for a meal or a chat, but I wouldn't feel comfortable ringing her on the phone for a chat. I also have some friends who I meet every few months for a meal but we only meet as a group and again, would never feel comfortable calling them or asking for any help, etc.
I talk to the school mums and have been for a drink a couple of times but they aren't what I would consider 'friends,' unfortunately.

Bit sad when I write it down, actually!

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 08/02/2017 10:10

between school, uni, law school and several jobs, a fair few. i'd say maybe 70 or so good friends. of that lot, there's 10 that I would say are really close, tell anything to friends, and then I have 2 absolute best friends.

this is due in no small part to the internet and mobile phones making it so easy to stay in touch. not sure I would have still been so close to all my school friends if we had to rely on long distance phone calls and writing letters!

puglife15 · 08/02/2017 10:10

for those who feel they have no friends or are suffering from depression.

highlandholiday · 08/02/2017 10:10

I have several different groups of friends:

Friends from school (actually this has pretty much whittled down to just 1 plus her husband)

Friends from uni-a group of 4 of us who only meet up once or twice a year but still very close

Friends from sport-a sprawling mass of lots of very different friends with one very good friend who i'd probably count as a best friend

'Mum' friends-we tend to socialise in a group or with husbands but also have another 'best' friend within this group who I see/speak to the most out of all my friends.

Work friends

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 08/02/2017 10:10

for starutopia, that's just shit in so many ways. thinking of you.

Screwinthetuna · 08/02/2017 10:13

To those saying none, that make me feel so sad. There are so many lonely people who could do with a good friend. I'm always looking to make new friends and seem to be the only one makes an effort, a lot of the time

Sociallyawkwardd · 08/02/2017 10:15

A lot of people like me and if I were to take initiative I would probably have quite a group but I'm always scared to invite people on friend dates.

I have a best friend from school that I'm never able to see and another from school who I really like but have little in common with.

I have two from uni who I can hang out with but I'm not truly comfortable with one.

The second is a close friend who I see regularly.

champagneplanet · 08/02/2017 10:17

A close group of 6 including a 'bestie', known them all many many years, we all socialise together with our DHs/DCs.

Also 3 close friends from school, know them for 20+ years, don't get together anywhere near often enough but when we get together it's like we've never been apart.

Very lucky to have these people in our lives, there's never any fallings out or nastiness.

dowhatnow · 08/02/2017 10:22

5 friends I would confess my innermost thought to, 5 really good friends not quite so close now but I know I can count on them and vice versa, and a couple of old friends that I probably would have lost touch with if it hadn't been for our "history".

Those 10 are a mix of old school friends, uni friends and newer friends.

EyeStye · 08/02/2017 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadisonAvenue · 08/02/2017 10:24

Whinging that's what I am too, I'm one of those people that people don't notice and if they do then I'm instantly forgettable.

I have a couple of old friends who I'm in touch with occasionally but I wouldn't feel able to call them in a crisis or even just for a chat or to meet for coffee.

WhingingTulip · 08/02/2017 10:39

MadisonAvenue Sometimes I actually wonder if I am transparent. I don't want loads of friends, just someone to have an occasional cuppa with. I do try and make friends but don't know where I going wrong. I just seem to be missing something from my makeup.

FishlessCake · 08/02/2017 10:49

None, I've tried to form friendships but I'm very introverted and also very blunt/dry/opinionated.

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