Is this a rude reply to this message

[Notenoughimagination]

I have an old work colleague who I think might have had a crush on me but was very shy with me. I had a crush on him but was also nervous so in my nervousness I think I came across standoffish.

He messaged me on Facebook a few weeks after finishing working together saying 'hey (name) how are you? Just wondering if you have that report from (insert meeting name).

Now I may be being ridiculous but I think he likes me and this was his way of getting in contact rather than actually needing information about the report as I've found out he was already sent the notes by a mutual colleague and had them before messaging me. He must have felt just saying how are you was a bit forward. 😂

So I replied saying 'I'm good thanks. I didn't actually keep the report. I kept it for a day and then threw it away'.

He hasn't replied.

So now I'm worried my reply was rude and my best friend said I should have ended with 'how are you?' So I'm keeping the conversation going.

I'm rubbish with message conversations and just aren't good at them.

Was this reply of mine okay or did it suggest disinterest?

I have taken the fact he hasn't replied as disinterest or indifference on his part.

And yes, I know I'm over analysing and no I'm not 14. Just need opinions really. And yes, I'm embarrassed I'm devoting a whole thread to this.

Omg grow up!

Add him back!

'Friend just mentioned you thought I'd removed you, I haven't, someone must have hacked my Facebook, probably my ex 🙄😂. Anyway hope you're well & managed to get your hands on the report!'

Just ask if he wants to meet for a coffee. Be proactive instead of analysing everything in such depth.

If he's got a new girlfriend that would definitely show disinterest in me right?

If he's got a new girlfriend and he's still interested in you, he doesn't sound like someone you should waste time thinking about. He seems insecure and manipulative.

I'm never ever normally like this. I never have been before. It's pathetic I know for my age. Normally I know if a guy does or doesn't like
Me. I just do not know with this guy.

Maybe he just needed the report and I'm reading too much into it. Sigh! I probably won't know.

I'm sorry to be blunt but you are being ridiculous. If you are interested in seeing this guy again send him a simple message asking how he is and did he manage to get a copy of the report. Simples. Totally no need for all this drama.

If he was interested, he'd have messaged you back.

Is he really worth it?

I really like him. Annoyed at myself for how much I do like him but it's the reality.

And I'm not convinced he doesn't like me.

Part of me doesn't want to just forget without knowing. But I can't ask outright.

I've had men message me years after first meeting me saying they always liked me but were too scared to ask me out. My ex took over a year to pluck up the courage and said he thought I was out of his league so took ages to ask.

So because it's happened before I just wonder if it's happened again.

But if he's not interested I've made a complete idiot of myself and we do have some mutual friends so it could get really awkward. Also work in a similar field so I could be bumping into him for years to come!

Jeez, it shouldn't be such hard work!

Just forget it.

You worked together & neither of you took a chance.

You no longer work together but when in contact neither of you took a chance.

Ask him how he is - or ask him some other question. You don´t have to ask him out, but your reply was an end to the conversation. So don´t wail about how he didn´t reply to your message - there was nothing to reply to.

However, if he has put a photo of a woman as his profile photo with a heart, you can assume that he is dating her and will not be interested in you.

So you've got an aloof air about you and refuse to lower yourself to asking anyone out. Then you wonder why they don't seem interested. Why do you think a guy should risk rejection and potential embarrassment, but not you?

Can you hear the collective screaming? Just request his friendship on fb with a friendly message. That's all you need to do.
Personally I think it sounds as though he is happy with someone else. Men don't usually do the loved up posts unless they are. Doesn't stop you being friendly just don't expect anything else.

Just a suggestion but the new photo and red heart may not necessarily represent a girlfriend. There's a thing on FB at the moment which is to do with breast cancer, where people are asked by PM to post a red heart (and no other words) on their status in support of sufferers and survivors of breast cancer. It may be that she is/was someone close to him who has been struck by breast cancer.

I've heard of the breast cancer heart thing. Could be that.

If he was in a new relationship he would not have messaged me. He'd be interested in his new girlfriend and not a work colleague he's not seen for a while.

I just don't want to look like a right idiot by messaging when he didn't reply to my last message.

You won't message,you won't ask him out,you won't re-add him,you won't say hi,but you want to know if he's interested and what not. This is bonkers!

FFS. The msg you sent sounded like you didn't want him to reply OP. Have you taken on board anything anyone has said here? As you just seem to be muttering to yourself now..

#bangsheadonwall

Full stops always mean they don't want to talk to you in my O. I don't know your age so don't know but my mum always sends me full stops and if it was anyone else Id know it was aimed at being rude ( Im 21 she's 50).

If he was interested he would have replied to my last message.

No, he wouldn't because you gave him absolutely nothing to reply to and then worse, you appeared to delete him. You think he should overcome these signals to ask you out? In normal circumstances it would be harassment!

Honestly, this appearing aloof and then insisting that the man must ask out the woman is not a good strategy. If you like him, give him some sign. It just sounds DS line you're in for a lifetime of lost opportunities.

(It sounds like you're in for a lifetime of lost opportunities that should read).

If he was deleted he wouldn't have been able to reply to you

This thread has really cheered me up . I've been laid up in bed with awful bladder infection. All the OP's hand wringing, nail biting, and posters shouting, screaming and clawing at the walls 😂Thank God I'm not young anymore.

I get everyone's frustration. I will message him. Yes I've realised he couldn't have replied as he was deleted.

My ex is very jealous of him. Knows I used to work with him.

So this is awkward. I'm going to have to send a message request now. 😳

If he doesn't reply to this message i send now I will know he's not interested.

Poor guy though, maybe he just wants to stay in friendly contact and has no idea I harbour these secret feelings.

I feel like such an idiot. Last time I get this caught up in a guy.

I'm not going to re add him though. Just message.

There's an art to online conversation. If you want a reply, you have to give them a hook.

You told him the report he wanted was shit and you binned it. That is not a hook, that's a dead end. He had already made up one reason to message you and when you rebuffed that, it's not a surprise he left it rather than make another attempt to engage.