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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT be super annoyed at OH

56 replies

Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:31

So OH has been a bit of idiot and let his van run out of oil. The engine has now seized and needs replaced. Goodbye £4000!

My neighbour was round and suggested i might be really annoyed at him (understandably!). But I'm not really. It was daft of him and an expensive mistake! More so given we don't have the money and are saving for an impending wedding.. But I just think it was a mistake and sh!t happens. Me giving him a hard time won't make the situation any better.

How would you react?

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 07/02/2017 13:32

Just like you. Sometimes shit happens.

WendyIsMyName · 07/02/2017 13:33

Just like you

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/02/2017 13:34

It depends, silly accidents I can cope with and get over but if he was ignoring an engine warning light and then that happened I'd go bananas as that's not an accident that's him being a lazy bastard so I would not be impressed

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2017 13:34

Yeah, I'm not so reasonable, I'd tell him he was a twat. Didn't the oil indicator light come on? 🙄

PurpleDaisies · 07/02/2017 13:35

Me too.

My car was a write off after an accident that was my fault. I'm glad dh was kind to me and not angry. I'd hope I'd be the same.

Mrsglitterfairy · 07/02/2017 13:36

Yeah a bit like you. I'd probably call him something along the lines of an incompetent twat and keep this in my locker until I make a little fuck up so he can't be mad at me but I wouldn't fall out with him over it. He probably feels like a right nob pretty sheepish about it anyway

Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:37

Bless him he keeps apologising. asked if I still wanted to marry such an idiot (as a joke). I told him I knew he was an idiot before I agreed to marry him! Grin Nothing a 0% credit card can't rescue us from.

I am actually more annoyed that whilst the van is getting fixed he has to use my car for work and I've had to cancel all me and DS plans (but also a little happy that I get to just stay in my jammies all day).

OP posts:
Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:38

Yes the indicator light was on....... I'm a bit of a procrastinator myself so I guess that's why I'm not too annoyed about that. I know he's had a lot on.

OP posts:
pettyprudence · 07/02/2017 13:38

I would not be at all reasonable about it...

xStefx · 07/02/2017 13:38

If he ignored the warning light going amber then red then I would actually be fuming (but you prob have more patience than me)

If the warning light didn't work then ok maybe not so much his fault

Thing is OP, obv it was a mistake ... but surely cant he be aware of how expensive things are when you don't take care of them, and are saving up for a wedding.

Don't get annoyed, but be sure to point that out. Ill be annoyed for you :-)

TheMasterNotMargarita · 07/02/2017 13:39

Life's too short. Yes it's a lot of money but I guess he didn't do it on purpose.
I'd be annoyed but I wouldn't give him a hard time I'm sure he will feel bad enough himself.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/02/2017 13:39

Was there no engine warning light?

HerOtherHalf · 07/02/2017 13:41

It's not really a silly accident, it's entirely avoidable. Checking oil, coolant, screenwash and tyre pressure on a regular basis should be routine for any car owner.

For those who may not know already, most cars only display the oil warning light when it's pretty much critically low. Attend to it as a matter of extreme urgency - not in 50 miles or tomorrow, but right now.

S1lentAllTheseYears · 07/02/2017 13:43

If it was a one off, I'd react the same as you (although I would want to know if he'd been ignoring a warning light as that would be pretty crap)

If he did this sort of thing all the time, or wasn't apologetic and mortified, then no!

Costacoffeeplease · 07/02/2017 13:44

Bless him Confused

I'd be fuming - the warning light must have been on for a while and he's ignored it, lazy and irresponsible

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/02/2017 13:44

It's in the bank of goodwill now - some day your calm reaction might be repaid if you do similar.

alltouchedout · 07/02/2017 13:47

I'd be angry about a totally avoidable £4k mistake, yes. Oh, so angry.

Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:48

Yes it was on but the van is due an MOT at the end of the month so he's planned on getting it all done at the same time - probably not understanding the urgency.

I could be a annoyed but unfortunately that won't make it go away. And it's him that's now got to work extra to foot the bill and he feels like a grade A moron, I think that's punishment enough really.

OP posts:
Spam88 · 07/02/2017 13:48

My DH generally feels bad enough when he has silly accidents so my concern is telling him it's okay rather than being annoyed with him.

Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:49

Hopefully I'll not be so stupid Donkeys

OP posts:
thebakerwithboobs · 07/02/2017 13:50

OP I would LOVE it Grin This is years worth of piss taking surely?!

Life is too short. I bet he is pretty gutted with himself and four grand is huge. I guess just be grateful nobody will starve as a result and maybe rig up some sort of electric shock to the gonads for every future warning light?

Crunchymum · 07/02/2017 13:52

You are saving for a wedding and can afford to say goodbye to £4k?? (sticking it on a CC - 0% or not - means it still has to be paid back!!)

I'd certainly not be as understanding.... in fact I'd be pretty annoyed that he let it get to such a stage when he had plenty of warning!

And now he has messed up all your plans as he needs your car?

Be careful you don't enter doormat territory!!

IrregularCommentary · 07/02/2017 13:52

I'd be pissed off, but there's no point falling out about it. We all screw up sometimes. I'd be the same as you OP.

Gatehouse77 · 07/02/2017 13:53

I have found that DH is annoyed with himself enough. If I get cross then it gives himself something else to rail against/blame and it ain't gonna be me!

Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 07/02/2017 13:54

Loving your take on it thebaker. I've also just realised I can casually drop this into the convo to get what ever I want for a very long time! Once we can afford it again that is! 😂

OP posts: