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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lunch box police - AIBU?

139 replies

Ladyonashortfuse · 07/02/2017 10:27

At my 4 year old DS's new school the children all take packed lunches. Before he started I was given a note saying no sweets were allowed in school - fine, I support this. On the first day I sent him in with a snack of mixed nuts (unsalted). A note came home saying no nuts were allowed because they could be a choking hazard. So on the second day I sent him with no nuts, and a chocolate flavoured yoghurt for his dessert which looked frankly disgusting but I'd bought it by mistake and nobody else was going to eat it. A note came home saying chocolate is not allowed in school so it would be 'preferable' if he did not have chocolate yoghurt again. Yesterday I sent him with no nuts, no chocolate yoghurt, but a handful of plain mini-crackers as a snack. A not came home saying no biscuit snacks. I can't keep up. Thinking of putting a note in his bag asking to be provided with a complete list of foods which aren't allowed in school, or for a new parent might that be construed as a bit passive-aggressive and rude?

OP posts:
Eolian · 09/02/2017 14:52

What happens if you just ignore the notes? I bloody hate lunchbox policing. It's patronising, pointless and usually the rules are at the best fairly arbitrary, at the worst nutritionally suspect. At ds' primary, there are two rules - 1) no sweets 2) crisps only once a week (yeah, like they keep a list of who's had crisps on which day Grin).

OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 09/02/2017 14:54

starlight no universal free meals in Wales.

Don't ask what goes in my ds lunchbox - he is barmily picky, even his teachers comment on him not eating at school parties, and his dislikes change rapidly. So much uneaten food came home we eventually agreed a compromise lunch (currently rices cakes, organics oat bar, brownie bite and a handful of Pringles ffs) and I dared the 80 year old lunch supervisor to complain Grin

Bit embarrassing as I work in the school...

MrsJamesFrazer · 09/02/2017 15:01

My child has serious food restrictions and can't eat fresh fruit and veg. He has had in his lunch box for the last 7 years
A chocolate spread sandwich, yogurt tube a peperami a chocolate biscuit of some description and a Capri sun.
He is not dead yet or overweight Shock

Eliza9917 · 09/02/2017 15:30

Re: the no nuts thing, what if there was a kid that would, for whatever reason, absolutely not eat anything other than peanut butter sandwiches?

And just out of interest are all nuts banned? even almonds? I don't eat bread and make substitutes out of almond flour. I would feed my hypothetical kids this way too, would my kids have to only have meat/veg in their lunch boxes?

Cocopops2 · 09/02/2017 17:20

Thing is the child who will only eat peanut butter presumably would not be at risk from anaphylaxis if he/she had to eat something else? I have a child with severe peanut/Brazil , macadamia and walnut allergies. Whilst he has care plan at school including epipens etc and eats his lunch alone it's obviously not 100% foolproof we are realistic accidents happen , but the thought of someone sending in a peanut butter (in particular) sandwich when school have asked them not to for this reason makes my blood boil. Seriously they can't wait until after to school to eat this??

SalmonFajitas · 09/02/2017 17:24

Eliza9917 At my DS's school there is a child with a serious nut allergy so the school is a nut free zone - otherwise that child simply couldn't attend school at all. No idea if it extends to almond four but I wouldn't send my DD or DS in with it just in case.

Artandco · 09/02/2017 17:28

Coco- but what if another few children are alsojust as allergic to other stuff? Your nuts so no nuts allowed. Another dairy so nobody allowed any dairy (no milk, cheese, yogurts, bicsuit, cakes). Another gluten ( no bread, pasta, biscuits, crackers) etc... there would be nothing left for anyone to take

SalmonFajitas · 09/02/2017 17:51

Artandco but nut allergies are much more severe and can lead to anaphylaxis even in tiny quantities. That's completely different from someone who might get a painful tummy ache if they ate someone else's sandwich (which they can be taught not to do). If you don't make restrictions for serious allergies some children simply couldn't leave the house.

Artandco · 09/02/2017 18:00

Salmon - it isn't only nuts. My sibling does get anaphylactic from dairy and some fruits. I'm just saying there's no way everything can be banned, and nuts doesn't trump other allergies. It bizarre nuts can be banned but others rarely are.

PonderingButterfly · 09/02/2017 18:43

At my Lo's school I wholly respect their lunch box policies (yes, theirs a policy) they have a strict no nuts policy as some kids are severely allergic. All parents were sent letters home in regards to this and I'm very understanding of it.If someone had been eating nuts..the oil from it might rub onto anything and can be life threatening. That's why I never send anything containing nuts. There is no harm in it for my LO's and of course if they want something with nuts they can have it after school so they don't miss out.

The school is also part of the government 'healthy eating' initiative. And again I salute it. Meaning no chocolate, crisps..etc.Anything considered ' junk'. Again my kids can eat all that 'junk' (I'm a health conscious mama so I only allow them one store bought junk a day, with their own money otherwise they can indulge in homemade snacks that they/I have made, which they enjoy more ).

In addition the school does not allow pastries or juice, strictly water only. Of course they can have infused water with fresh fruits. My kids love these infused water as they look 'cool'. It's not ideal for every kid but my kids love them and also embrace healthier choices. If they want some 'junk' sometimes we re- make whatever 'junk' it is, like own crisps. It's fun for the kids and you know what is going into it.

For me, there is no harm in me not packing them chocolate, crisp, fizzy. I know they are kids and should enjoy and I do but I want them to make healthier choices. I still allow them junk but at a limit (on parties/occasions they can go knock themselves out with sugar). And if they choose to spend their hard earned money on a junk I let them, reminding them to be wise on what they spend their money on.Something that will satisfy them for that moment or something like a toy or game that will hopefully satisfy them longer.

Because their school is trying to achieve the gold standard for healthy eating (bronze right now) they have also changed their catering supplier 2 years ago and they have joined the 'healthy eating schools' initiative last year. I don't know about the quality of school dinners but according to the catering website they only use fresh products.

On Fridays the school allows one 'junk' in their lunch if they wish. But strictly nothing with peanuts or fizzy. Kids also earn tokens and depending on which year group earns the most point they get a reward.But not really fair, if some kids are constant with their healthy lunches and are not being acknowledged. Yeah, my kids complained. If you get three red tokens you are sent a letter home if no changes are made parents are summoned to the headteacher.

To add to it.Cereal bars are not allowed.But you only get caught out if the lunch people that supervise catch you out, I guess, because even I have been sneaky to see if they ever say anything to my kids.But nothing.My son tells me that he has to show his lunch in order to get a green token. I sometime like to test the patients of the school.

Gah! I typed alot..

BigGrannyPants · 09/02/2017 20:05

YANBU Allergies is one thing but at the end of the day what you feed your child is up to you. How shitty to keep sending notes to you, can't they pick up the phone and have a discussion? Perhaps then you would know what is and is not allowed. Frankly I don't think that is any of their business though

SuperBeagle · 09/02/2017 20:14

The temptation to tell them to bugger off...

I haven't encountered this. Do they do a lunchbox inspection every day or something? How absurd. I understand trying to discourage parents from sending in mountains of junk food, but to police it down to a few crackers or nuts is just insane.

beautygal29 · 09/02/2017 21:28

I sent my son with houmous and carrot and cucumber sticks to dip with. Thought I was doing great until I was asked not to send him with them again because they were too messy! Wtf! I'm sure it wasn't anything a baby wipe wouldn't fix especially as he returned home relatively clean!? 🤔

Eliza9917 · 10/02/2017 12:50

I was thinking more about a kid that autistic that would only eat peanut butter for instance.

Which kid should stay home so as to not expose or be exposed to allergens?

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