Lunch box police - AIBU?

[Ladyonashortfuse]

At my 4 year old DS's new school the children all take packed lunches. Before he started I was given a note saying no sweets were allowed in school - fine, I support this. On the first day I sent him in with a snack of mixed nuts (unsalted). A note came home saying no nuts were allowed because they could be a choking hazard. So on the second day I sent him with no nuts, and a chocolate flavoured yoghurt for his dessert which looked frankly disgusting but I'd bought it by mistake and nobody else was going to eat it. A note came home saying chocolate is not allowed in school so it would be 'preferable' if he did not have chocolate yoghurt again. Yesterday I sent him with no nuts, no chocolate yoghurt, but a handful of plain mini-crackers as a snack. A not came home saying no biscuit snacks. I can't keep up. Thinking of putting a note in his bag asking to be provided with a complete list of foods which aren't allowed in school, or for a new parent might that be construed as a bit passive-aggressive and rude?

Do they give you the food back if they're not acceptable?

My DS has school dinners at the mo as he's 5 & they're free.
He has pizza, chips, sausage roll, chocolate cake.... etc it's all on the menu.

The lunchbox supervisors baffle me. If they don't allow them to eat a cereal bar and take it away do they substitute it for something else otherwise leaving the child to go possibly hungry?
Also are the dinner ladies/staff healthy themselves? As the ones at my sons school are mainly overweight. I find it hypercritical.

My kids eat loads, their lunchboxes are rammed, but both rakes! They get

• sandwich
• bear yo yo
• fruit pot (mainly berries)
• frube
• carrot/cucumber sticks
• cheese chunks
• bottle of flavoured water
• crisps/cheddars added every Friday

All of it goes every day. Never had any issues with content

Then OP can chop grapes too, can't she?

Then OP can chop grapes too, can't she?

Then OP can chop grapes too, can't she?

Then OP can chop grapes too, can't she?

Thinking about lunch boxes has made me feel defiant. I'm off to go find some chocolate and make a cappuccino for my lunch. cutting off nose to spite my face

Yes as I said "personal choice". I was responding to willnotbetamed who didn't seem to be aware of the particular risk of grapes. I don't see the problem in highlighting the risks so people can make an informed choice.

Op can you chop grapes?

I'm actually a bit miffed that DS's school allow the parents to decide what to put in their packed lunch, I'd look forward to doing a compare and contrast report for them of my sons lunch v the ones they provide

It's absolutely ridiculous! My son takes medication that has the side effect of suppressing his appetite. It's hard to get a decent amount of food into him and he is underweight for his height so the focus is on getting high calories into him in small portions. The school know this and yet still confiscated his cake slice as it's unhealthy. It's more unhealthy for him to starve!

I can understand requesting nut free packed lunches but I do think through chocolate yoghurt and crackers are perfectly fine. My dd always has a sandwich, veggie sticks, fruit, a tube yoghurt and then either crisps or cheddars. We've had comments made to my dd by a dinner lady who disapproves of crisps. She eats a really healthy, balanced diet over the course of the day so I ignore the comments. 90% healthy 10% treat food is our rule in this house. The dinner lady doesn't get a vote!

Why do you give her crisps every day though? Not judging, just asking!

I don't still a problem with a pack of crisps everyday as part of a balanced diet.

I would send a note back politely requesting exactly what qualifies the sender to nutritionally dissect a child's lunch.

This kind of nonsense is reaching ridiculous levels, common sense and balance appear to have been forgotten.

I found it off that we were told that nuts were banned. Next day DH packed a peanut butter sandwich and there were no problems!

@Westfox. Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, but as the parent of a child with a serious nut allergy, I find your attitude off.

At primary school (especially infants), children aren't mature enough to understand and manage the risks of cross contamination. If you send nuts into school and my child comes into contact with something your child has touched then they could potential end up being rushed to hospital with a life threatening reaction.

I hope you never have to witness your child go into anaphylactic shock - it's b!**dy scary.

Why aren't the school providing a lunch? I thought they were obliged to do so.

I'd be tempted to put more and more absurd things in and see if you can get a note every day

Make pressed date & ground almond balls with a bit of cacao and see if you get a note home about "chocolate" (they do look like chocolate truffles)

Packet of pork scratchings

Slice of ham with a rice filling wrapped in cling film and labelled "stuffed peacock's ear"

Little thing of milk, with a drop or two of caramel food colouring, labelled "Little Toby's Coffee"

Cold boiled potatoes with some homemade sugar free ketchup and see if you get told off about the ketchup

Sushi, done with poached carrot and beetroot, which looks rather like raw fish

You could have so much fun, they'd be begging you to send a Frube and a Fruit Shoot by half term.

I'm a teacher, and I absolutely refuse to police lunch boxes. There was no part of my teaching degree that said that I was required to monitor what every child in a class of 30 eats each day.

My own DS started school last week and each day he has had a some variety of a sandwich, rice cakes with vegemite, pasta salad, yoghurt, apple, banana, strawberries, grapes, sultanas, homemade zucchini slice, homemade cornbread. But he has also had a small container with a small treat - either half a dozen Freckles, a jelly snake, a homemade mini cupcake, a homemade chocolate crackle. He eats everything I give him, and if he were to not be able to eat his treat if he wanted it, then I'd be furious.

A child with a healthy diet should not be told that certain foods are 'bad'. But a balanced diet is what should be discussed with children.

I'm an adult, and I take a mini chocolate bar, or a piece of cake or brownie, or whatever I have cooked, with me for my work lunch. 'Dessert' is not exactly a difficult concept, and some people enjoy a sweet item to finish their meal. A small sweet item consumed after a healthy meal is fine, and should not be treated like the child is doing something wrong.

I could never stand the lunchbox police, and I am now so glad that I no longer have anymore primary school children. Secondary schoos are much less "in-your-face" about it, probably down the the sheer logistics of checking thousands of lunchbox items daily anyway.

I remember one day at primary school my DD3 was told that the yogurt in her packed lunch was too cold and she shouldn't eat it as the lunchtime assistant said it would give her "chilly tummy", whatever the fuck that is. I had only taken it out of the fridge that morning. It was just refrigerated as it should have been.

There were various stupid comments from primary school, but never a peep from secondary school.

I am all for a reasonably balanced lunch and I stick to all reasonable policies like no nuts etc. However, I won't be dictated to.

OP, it is a shame that your school do not have a school lunch option. Then you could pull them up on what they put on their own menu.

Put what you like in the lunchbox within reason. Tell the school that you will abide by stuff like the no nuts or sweets policy, but apart from that you do not wish to receive ridiculous notes every day.

willnotbetamed
Grapes are actually a really bad choking hazard and lead to several deaths each year. The problem is that they are the exact shape and size to plug a child's airway and extremely difficult to dislodge once they are in.
Cherry tomatoes as well.
I still cut them up. A friend's daughter started choking on one once and it was so scary, we held her upside down and whacked her back and it came out thankfully but it was the scariest 30 seconds of my life.
Even if not fatal, choking can deprive the brain of oxygen and lead to brain damage

GahBuggerit

I've heard other parents from my DC school saying certain things have been sent home however the only thing mine have had with a note was a small bag of haribo that were given to them by school and I'd forgotten they were in the front of his bag I thought tube/pouch yogurts were banned but loads of kids have them.

My DC have sandwich/cheese and crackers/cous cous/sausage roll/pasty
Veg sticks or sometimes just a chunk of cucumber/pepper, whole carrot, tomatoes,
Cheese cubes if no cheese in main,
piece of fruit or fruit salad
Then either mini muffin, few crisps, popcorn, bear yoyo, one celebration, cracker with cheese, mini Jamie dodger, chocolate finger

I sent crisps regularly. Mine are still alive years later and have never been overweight.

LauraMipsum You have an evil streak in you and you are wonderful.

Old fart here, 1952 vintage, wondering how my packed-lunch contemporaries reached adulthood, eating - gasp - whatever they were sent to school with.

I'm disappointed in my school too. No nuts/sweets/choc bars/fizzy drinks. Otherwise fill your boots. I was looking forward to a fight...

I don't, sometimes it's cheddars.