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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mums never turned up!

89 replies

hungryhippo90 · 07/02/2017 09:38

My child's just started a new school, there's a group of the parents that I've become friendly with, despite my apparent social anxieties.

I was invited to go to breakfast with them this morning straight after drop off this morning,
I was ecstatic! Of course I said yes, /!; I was at the restaurant by 9:04.

The restaurant is a 3/4 minute walk from the school.
I've been sat here for half an hour, looking at the door, but it's dawned on me that no one is going to come.

I feel really embarrassed, I told the lady in the restaurant I was looking for a group of mums that I was supposed to be meeting, and that they were all probably sat down already so she knows I've been stood up too!

How do I navigate this?

OP posts:

MoonfaceAndSilky · 07/02/2017 10:03

They've probably forgotten, text one of them. Was it a definite time/place or more of a casual thing? As pp said how come you didn't walk together after drop off?

BastardGoDarkly · 07/02/2017 10:04

Oh no, have you not got any of their details? Fb? Nothing?

FlaviaAlbia · 07/02/2017 10:04

Are you sure it's the right place? I've done this before, went to a place called the square and everyone else went to the square table and was wondering where I was as I'd phoned them to say I was on my way...

So embarrassing.

listsandbudgets · 07/02/2017 10:04

Don't worry OP it's happened to me to. Turned out they'd said Thursday not Tuesday and I misheard them and sat there like a twit for 40 minutes Honestly it is almost certainly a mistake please don't let it ruin your day.

I hope that once you calmed down you enjoyed a bit of peace and quiet and a good breakfast xx

FlaviaAlbia · 07/02/2017 10:05

Cross post, sorry OP...

MadMags · 07/02/2017 10:05

I'd ran past a few of the parents who I don't know as well, but they didn't say anything.

You ran past them and didn't say anything to them??

Do you think they thought you weren't interested in befriending them and maybe just went elsewhere?

Also, do you not have a phone number/facebook for any of them??

loinnir · 07/02/2017 10:05

They probably "forgot" or they were too busy to make it - they should have texted you. It is a big deal for you (meeting up) but not them- they thought it was a loose arrangement. I'm so sorry - it's horrid. Make sure you get some phone numbers next time.

Original poster

hungryhippo90 · 07/02/2017 10:05

I very rarely see them st drop off, They all have younger children to drop at other classes the other end of the school, I wait in the bigger playground for DD to go into her class.

They are really nice, I'm sure it's just that they can't contact me. Trying so hard to not see it as personal lol!

OP posts:

Twistmeandturnme · 07/02/2017 10:06

One of my best friends is someone I got to know because her daughter didn't turn up for DDs birthday party and I then received a note apologising and saying they had arrived at the party for 4pm and realised we were all leaving and were too embarrassed to say anything! To be honest our kids weren't that close and we might never have become friends if the mistake hadn't been made!
These things do happen, and chances are they haven't done it deliberately. Catch someone at school pick up and ask: be prepared to either laugh at your mistake or good naturedly accept their apology if it changed and they didn't tell you.

thecatsarecrazy · 07/02/2017 10:06

Bless you. That's the sort of luck I have.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 07/02/2017 10:06

Maybe it was cancelled and because they don't have my details they couldn't make me aware.

Yes, it's probably this. Treat yourself to a big slice of cake, instead

Waggamamma · 07/02/2017 10:06

This happened to me once, we were meeting in a coffee shops called 'smiths' in the next town, what I didn't realise was there were two branches of 'smiths' on the high street. It wasn't malicious just a misunderstanding, I hope you find out what's happened.

MadMags · 07/02/2017 10:07

When you see the mum you were talking to again, say "you must give me your number so we can organise that breakfast"!

listsandbudgets · 07/02/2017 10:08

Oh and where is this all you can eat breakfast buffet? Sounds like my sort of thing I'd come and join you myself if it was close by

ExplodedCloud · 07/02/2017 10:09

If it had been cancelled I'd have assumed the organiser would have let you know and wouldn't necessarily have thought to check you knew iyswim. Particularly not on the school run when my head's full of remembering bags and coats.
Try to assume the most likely explanation (comms fail) is true rather than it being personal.

Original poster

hungryhippo90 · 07/02/2017 10:10

Mad mags- not quite as literal as that, I said morning and waved! These are ladies who I know were invited but who haven't really spoken to me, or ignore me. The one who ignores me doesnt give off the impression that she dislikes me, but it seems like her way... I think!

OP posts:

nat73 · 07/02/2017 10:11

Dont panic - sounds like a misunderstanding!

MadMags · 07/02/2017 10:12

Ah, ok. I thought maybe if you'd blatantly ignored them they might think you didn't want to come!

I think, as I said, I'd brazen it out and say "let's organise that breakfast" and make sure someone has your number/you have hers!

Original poster

hungryhippo90 · 07/02/2017 10:14

Listsandbudgets- are you anywhere near Bedfordshire?! I know there's seating for around 100 people! I'd even let you choose where we sat lol! The food looked so good!

OP posts:

Oblomov17 · 07/02/2017 10:15

Have you TEXT one of them? Rung her? Please do that now. Right NOW. I'm sure it's just a mix up.

GoingSlowly · 07/02/2017 10:15

When you get to the bottom of what happened, let us know Hungryhippo90! Hopefully a mixup.

Oblomov17 · 07/02/2017 10:15

RING one of them.

EdithWeston · 07/02/2017 10:16

I know just how you feel. I was working nearly full time, but wanted to get to know other parents better and had found out from one mum that they always met up one day a week in a particular cafe every Friday. So, I booked a day off to join in (which as I needed my leave to cover holidays and illnesses was a fairly major step for me). I didn't know that no-one else would show up that day. Still hurts, don't know why.

NavyandWhite · 07/02/2017 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadMags · 07/02/2017 10:18

I'm assuming if OP had contact details she would have rung or text by now!

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