To be a bit annoyed

[calimommy]

I invited my friend and her husband over for dinner this Friday. I texted her and specifically said "no kids! I'll throw mine into bed early and you get a sitter, we can have adult chats and drink adult wine and eat adult food👍". She responded v excited but later texted again to say she didn't have a sitter so was it ok to bring the kids? I felt I couldn't refuse, nor could I suggest to reschedule as this is the only time for a while that suits. But now I'm dreading it. Our children are all quite young, under 4, so this will not be the relaxing night with adults I had hoped for. AIBU to be annoyed she didn't just say she couldn't come? Or should I be grateful to spend time with friends regardless? I should add I'm pregnant (early days) so feeling more tired than usual.

I was a bit snippy I suppose, I just didn't see it as something that needed heavily defending - to the extent Trifle was defending the opinion of the OP. It's hardly a debate on Trump is it?

SpringerS, not every child who goes to bed late will sleep in late the next day. My DS (5.5) has never slept in past 7.30 or so regardless of time to bed. Which is fine as he has school anyway. What will you do when your DS starts school?

I wouldn't go ahead with that night, OP. You will be stone cold sober and looking after the kids while your husband and the other couple sit there drinking and having a great time.

I wouldn't want anyone bringing their kids round when my kids were going to be in bed. It makes it so much worse that their kids don't sleep until late - what kind of night is that for you?

itsmine: I actually do roll my eyes when I see this

theaveragewife: Equally, I thought the OP was getting an unfair ear bashing - she asked whether she was unreasonable; answers on both sides are equally valid.

I think the way you invited her was a bit rude to be honest, telling her to get a babysitter, whilst you don't have to. So there would be a cost to her for this evening invite, and not for you. Appreciate you have said she only uses her Mum, which is her choice entirely, perhaps her Mum doesn't want to do it all the time, so isn't available. You could have perhaps put it to her in a nicer way, more of an invite, than an order....Such as..."Do you fancy one night, just us, no kids and we can have a natter?" To which she could have politely declined, saying, "sorry, I find it difficult to get a sitter etc."

Yanbu at all. Personally I'd cancel!

Springer regularly keeping a four year old up till ten pm so you can have a lie in is not really appropriate.

OMG!

OP how precious are you!
People have lives you know and you are making unreasonable demands.
Do you live in some sort of fish bowl!

The scales have really fallen from my eyes with this thread

unreasonable demands

How so?

Trifle I think something fishy is going on with that post tbh.

For cod's sake christina there's salmon fishy going on here

We're singing the same tuna captain

Something afish?

oh do stop carping on, your just a big fish in a little pond

Thank Cod someone feels the same, Its!

OPs just a little fish in a big pond.

This is needing reeled in, you are all acting like fishwives

I'm gonna let this one swim off on its own.

I would still have the evening but bring the time forward to allow for your dcs to enjoy it too. So say 5pm to eat at 6pm. Yours in bed for 8pm, friends packed off shortly afterwards.

That way you still get the social bit and everyone has a nice time but you get to pit your pjs on and watch Taboo at 9.15pm too. Plus your dcs might stay in bed a bit later (apparently some do, not mine though) so you get a lie in too.

Its for the best OP these things are fish bait.