To wonder wtaf is wrong with my MiL?

[Skatingonthinice16]

She has form for quite a bit of nasty selfish behaviour, particularly round the dc. Quite controlling.

Her latest thing is to describe me as 'mean and spiteful' to dd. Admittedly dd is only 1 but it still annoys me and sometimes ds is there too and he is 7.

She says it in response to such horrors as making dd put a coat on, not allowing her three chocolate biscuits, closing the stair gate so she can't keep climbing the stairs, putting her in her car seat...
MiL will say 'ahhh has nasty spiteful mummy strapped you in?' 'Has nasty spiteful mummy stopped you eating biscuits?' Her other favourite - if dd cries in response to any of the above - is to say 'has mummy made you cry? You've made her cry now, ahhh and she was all happy. You've gone and upset her.'

Just fuck off! Every time I see her I can feel my blood pressure rising. There's no reasoning with her. It's futile.

As a lovely mil myself I think she's vile and I would tell your dh that unless she stops this behaviour neither you or the kids will be seeing her again. Horrible behaviour

Calling someone nasty and spiteful, via the children, is not the action of a person who is joking. Certainly not when done repeatedly.

Your DH needs to open his eyes

No she doesn't like me. She likes to pretend the children are hers.
I think I get in the way of this picture.
Dd is very clingy to me and MiL doesn't like it. She's always telling me dd will never cope at school. She will also physically carry her away when she's reaching for me and say 'no you're not going to mummy.' Similarly if dd sits on my lap she just goes on about how dd needs to be down on the floor so she can play. Strangely she doesn't seem to think it a problem when dd sits on her lap.

It's very wearing. Dh will never say anything to her. She is quite manipulative.

I'd give her one warning that if she doesn't pack in calling you names, she won't see the kids again.

Stick to it if she continues.

Tell your DH to man the fuck up, too.

Sorry but you have a DH & a MIL problem. It's not ok to treat you like that so you need to stand up tor yourself!

Anybody who got on like this in my house, with my children, wouldn't last very long

"Nasty and spiteful"..... That is categorically NOT a joke

I think your dd is telling you how she feels around this woman.

Urgh how often do you see her? Seriously her behaviour is damaging, not letting a baby have close contact with their main caregiver - just nasty.

oh fuck THAT!!

No nononono.

Stay away from her - she's a disaster area.

HenriettaH Tue 07-Feb-17 02:32:14

My jaw fell open at your post.

This is in excusable behaviour - and yes nasty and spiteful are words way out of any jokey league.

Yes you have a DH issue but this is so awful someone needs to say something, usually I think its best for the dh to stand up to his mother but you cant have this another moment. You need to say something, dont worry about fall out - you need to say its not acceptable and yes what 123 said.

Good luck op, show your DC its not ok to speak to people like that. I also agree its very telling if your dd is reaching for you.