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Original poster

To not know whether I'm a robot

79 replies

HoneyDragon · 06/02/2017 18:46

I've had two horrendous migraines this week. Both coincidentally when Openreach killed all the internet and WiFi in the area.

I'm a robot aren't I? Skynet's already in control we just don't know we're amongst you. How do I ascertain I'm not a robot?

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 06/02/2017 20:33

Think how much it would explain. The immac & the blue dog could actually be alien experiments.

Graphista · 06/02/2017 21:33

Surmising I'm not a robot as I WOULD boink 7of9 and don't know how to change my wifi's username or password Blush (I really need to learn if only so dd will go to bloody sleep earlier!)

greenworm · 06/02/2017 21:35

You can't know for sure, it's possible you're a robot. But I'd say the chances are very slim

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 06/02/2017 21:59

Surmising I'm not a robot as I WOULD boink 7of9

I'm not sure that bit's evidence, Graphista. Data was fully functional AND programmed in multiple techniques.

Kookypants · 06/02/2017 22:03

Go to a scrap yard and see what happens if you stand under one of those giant magnets

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 06/02/2017 22:07

I did read something recently about a woman that was actually allergic to WIFI. Proven and everything!

DJBaggySmalls · 06/02/2017 22:08

Ask your DP if you tighten his nuts. If he says yes, you are both robots.

SmileEachDay · 06/02/2017 22:11

In Ninjago, one of the Lego ninjas finds out he's a robot by peeling back his yellow Lego skin and finding Robot Stuff underneath. In his tummy.

This prompted a protracted conversation about what a non robot Lego ninja would even have there.

His main symptoms, which lead to the skin peeling back, were a lack of sense of humour and a sort of zen-ish kestrel following hippy vibe.

Any of that sound familiar?

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 06/02/2017 22:12

If you are a robot you will adhere to Issac Asimov's three laws of robotics.

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

If you are not bound by these laws, you are not a robot.

TheProblemOfSusan · 06/02/2017 22:14

How would we actually know of we were robots? Of at least if we were electronic? Because if we were living in a simulated universe a la The Matrix, how would we tell?

That whole thing about solipsism, where the only thing you know of real is your own mind... How can that be proved now we know about computers? OH GOD DESCARTES IS BROKEN.

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo · 06/02/2017 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 06/02/2017 22:18

OH GOD DESCARTES IS BROKEN.

Oh shit. Do we really think? Or do we just think we think?

TheProblemOfSusan · 06/02/2017 22:40

I think, therefore I need a fucking gin after thinking about this thread, empress.

Though... If nothing is real, including my own mind, why am I so anxious and mad? And why does the OP have awful migraines? We suffer, therefore we are real?

Input from an actual philosopher needed here.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 06/02/2017 22:59

Well if you want philosophy than we can follow in to Asimov's third law, a robot must protect its own existence as long as the protection doesn't contradict the first or second law.

So I successfully obeyed the 1st and 2nd law on the thread, perhaps I wiped the 'I'm a robot' data to protect myself once I had become self aware? Do you need more gin yet?

OP posts:
GalenJustGalen · 07/02/2017 00:30

Post a video of yourself dancing.

There are certain giveaways.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 07/02/2017 10:49

Lol this makes me think of the scene on BBT when Harold and raj are discussing whether Sheldon is a robot

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 07/02/2017 11:05

Someone said gin?

Let's all pause to drink a toast to Zombie. GinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGinGin

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 07/02/2017 11:28
OP posts:
PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 07/02/2017 11:45

If you are a robot, HD, you've got one frickuva hella programming team. All those weird things that happen to you! You literally couldn't make it up. Except, maybe a highly creative team of writers did... Hmmmm

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 07/02/2017 11:53

But that's why the alien experiment theory would make so much more sense,. Engineer!

Unless the clink just now was Honey's glass bouncing off her metal chest, of course.

Soubriquet · 07/02/2017 11:59

See I know Honey can't be a robot

They are supposed to do as they are told...

Somehow I don't think she does Grin

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 07/02/2017 12:07

Don't I recall you immac'ing a baby HoneyD? Doesn't sound like a very robotic thing to do. And is it a robot baby, is the next question?!

SmileEachDay · 07/02/2017 20:34

Hmn. Honey am I right in thinking you have a dog?

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 07/02/2017 20:41

I currently have a muddy evil HELLHOUND, yes.

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 07/02/2017 21:01

Is the dog doing the teeth baring thing with the hackles when you stand near it?

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