To be annoyed at weaning fanatics

[StrawberryShortcake32]

Am I just being overly sentiitive/protective here?

Since DS hit the 3 month mark, everyone and their dog seems adamant that I should be introducing solids.

I am waiting for the 6 month mark because I want to do baby led weaning, DS seems totally happy with milk and the NHS recommends it. It just makes sense to me.

DS is a big boy and was 9lb 2oz at birth. He's a chunk! Sometimes he sleeps through in 6 hour blocks but recently the 4 month growth spirt has kicked in and he's waking every 3 hours for feeds. Fine with me, he's going through the growth spirt. He needs the extra milk.

My DM, Sis, MIL and a handful of friends seem to be obsessed with when I'm gonna feed him solids. One friend and MIL in particular don't seem to want to let it drop.
'Is he sleeping through yet? 'You need to give him baby rice/purees'

Appreciate people are excited but I'm sick of the constant insistence that I should be weaning him. Growth spirt = extra milk feeds. Not selfishly feeding him things his tummy can't handle yet just so I can get some extra sleep.If anything it'll probably do the opposite as he's had tummy troubles lately.

Untill now I've been polite about it.
'No he's not ready yet, he's shown no signs of wanting more than milk'

I'm on the verge of changing this to
'Will you please drop it! He's my son and I'll wean him when I decide it's time!'

AIBU to be so pissed off about this?
When did you guys wean? Did you wait for the 6 month mark or wean earlier? Did it work for you?

Thank you for reading my essay
X

A baby would need to eat about a kilo of puréed carrot to replace an 8oz formula feed (that may not be right, but I've forgotten the exact numbers!) - I armed myself with lots of these little snippets to throw at people my in laws when they insisted my ds needed real food. In fact, neither of my boys really are any proper food until about 7-8 months. Wait until they're ready and it's sooooo much easier.

you do what you think is best for your child at the time and with regard to health guidelines. They are guidelines though not set in stone laws.

It wouldn't surprise me if today's advice is totaliy swept away in 20 years. That's how it always is.

Your child op you do what you think best.

Dd 6 months and struggling with the weaning and tbh mostly the my dd has eaten fish etc already..what yours is still on the baby rice, shes being left behind....comments. Got abit low about it then got invited to a new friend with dd same age...she was relaxed and chilled and did some baby led weaning with both our dds and told me to do whatever feels right for me and dd. Felt alot better, distance myself from the weaning completiveness and just enjoying exploring food with dd. Shes mostly still on milk with tasters during the day. Also seeing new relaxed friend more. Seriously just relax and do what you want to. Nod and smile at 'helpful' comments.

We started trying at 6 months, and with hindsight, DD wasn't ready - she could sit up, but really didn't want solid food. She disliked it so much that she'd vomit whenever I got any in her mouth. At one year, pretty much all her calories were coming from formula. However she was enormous - she'd gone from 25th centile at birth to 91st at 1 year. So there's no shortage of nutrients in milk - you definitely don't have to worry about that!

You're doing the right thing OP

It winds me up that some people have the nerve to interfere with others' very personal life decisions anyway, but especially so when they're completely misguided and decades behind in their assumptions!

TBH if I was in your shoes I would definitely change to

I'm on the verge of changing this to
'Will you please drop it! He's my son and I'll wean him when I decide it's time!'

It really isn't their business, how dare they try to dictate you like that!

OP as you rightly identify, milk is the most efficient and hence energy dense food for babies. If you put them on anything else you are essentially putting them on a diet, as they will be getting less calories, while their stomachs attempt to digest the more difficult food.

Hungry baby milk is a diet product. It is harder to digest than normal milk and hence will keep the baby feeling full for longer, while actually delivery less energy.

So I wouldn't unless you are having serious sleep deprivation issues.

I know the guidelines are six months but I've been doing some research and am giving serious consideration to weaning earlier. If anyone else can weigh in on this it would be appreciated as I'm a bit concerned about it and obviously finding it difficult to cobble together information I've dredged up online to come to a decision. My DS is 4mo now so I don't have much time to decide (and no way would I be removing milk btw - just adding small amounts of certain solids) and I am worried so any information anyone can give me would be appreciated.

There seems to be some evidence that late weaning is bad for babies. It seems to have been associated with higher risk of allergy, gluten intolerance, anaemia and diabetes and this has become a bit of a controversial topic as some scientists are claiming that the WHO, AAP and NHS are wrong to recommend six months of EBF.

Here's an example: www.bmj.com/content/342/bmj.c5955

And here: www.bmj.com/content/354/bmj.i5099.short?utm_source=TrendMD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=TBMJ_UK_TrendMD-0

I tend to treat official guidelines skeptically as in my experience they assume you're an idiot and that false information is justified if it will get you to do what they think you should do, but I obviously don't want to do something that might hurt my baby.

I had this too so frustrating! Your child, your choice and people need to accept that we all parent differently. I was sick of everyone nagging, introduced small things at just over 5 months and guess what, she doesn't sleep any better at all and she's now 8 months. So much for all their words of wisdom! do what's best for you both

Everyone has been so sensible that I feel I must interject - j=have you tried lying to them?
'He had a 4oz filet mignon with dauphionoise potatoes and creme brulee for dinner' might shut people up a bit...

I aimed towards 6 months with mine. They both took matters into their own hands at 23 weeks when they started grabbing at our food, making eating gestures and getting annoyed at us not sharing. When offered food, they wolfed it down.

If it's not under focused medical advice, weaning before baby shows they're ready is a messy waste of time.

The 4-6 month zone has so many disruptions from growth spurts and development leaps so its not surprising that with less understanding in previous generations particularly in an era encouraging a culture of bottle feeding and strict 4 hour routines, that the answer to dealing with hunger was to introduce solids.

Apparently I had rusks in my bottle at 3 months. Allegedly, it didn't do me any harm. I have digestive issues and am sensitive to some foods. It probably is more strongly connected to dodgy genes than early rusks, but nothing will ever be proved. DS1 did have an allergic reaction to baby porridge at 25 weeks (turned out it was CMPA), and at least it helped the maternal guilt that we were so close to the guidelines.

Guidelines come and go and switch around, and it is unfair to keep making an outdated point after it's been challenged.

I weaned my daughter at 4.5 months under medical advice (reflux). we didn't have any problems.

Both my HV and GP, and NCT leader seemed certain the guidelines were about to change again from weaning at 6 months, back to 4 months.

It's all rubbish anyway. You will know when your baby is ready for solids. But don't do what my best friend's mum did and give your baby custard at 3 weeks of age

Nappies take on whole new dimension of revoltingness once you wean, anyhow. A great reason not to rush it!

One of mine was swiping my food and gobbling everything he tried (except avocado!) before 5 months (and crawling around everywhere on his belly already, so losing weight rapidly, at that time). The other was nearer to 9 months before he showed any interest at all.

fartniss

The guidelines are just that :) advice is given on a population level but at an individual level there are considerable variations in how ready babies are are how prone they are to allergy.

Baby needs to:
Sit unaided
No tongue thrust reflex
Good head control
Interest in food

If you have severe allergies in the family talk to your doctor before you begin.

Whenever people use the stupid "We did XXX in my day and it never did mine any harm" or "It was good enough for my kids..." arguments, reply with "Well smoking used to be allowed on birthing wards at one point so we're lucky we have medical science showing us how reckless that was huh?"
Or my favourite, "Yeah, we also didn't have seatbelts in cars either, but we know better now!"

Anatidae

Thanks, I think you're right and I'm just being pfb about it!

Those are good signs to look for. I'll just go with that instead of forcing it

Meh. Do it when it's right for you. I must say though, I think your OP is a bit much, whinging about being criticised when your entire post has a not too subtle subtext of having a dig at those who do it before six months.

fartness my ddil started dgs on solids at 5 months. He's fine and still has milk of course.

Read all the advice but you know your baby best.

MyKids yes of course but it can also he very annoying when people criticise what was done in the past with a slightly mocking tone and warning us our perfectly healthy adult and teen children may develop IBS because we stupidly followed the current guidelines just like mums do now.

When you get to my age 50 I can assure you that guidelines and best practise have completely changed at least twice and back again from all parenting areas to sleeping on tummies to co sleeping being the best thing since sliced bread to utterly dangerous.

That's life. Today's guidelines will change again for your grandchildren.

However each parent makes choices for their child and it's no one else's bloody business when a parent weans be that 4 months or 7 just like breast feeding or bottle feeding.

Yanbu. I had big babies and got the same. I get that some babies need to be weaned early for medical reasons but if they are content with milk, sleeping through etc then why the rush? Even my hv was making noises at around 5 months that most people had introduced solids by now and I just said they were happy on milk and I was going to hold out until 6 months if at all possible. As it turned out dc 2 was nearer 7 months before they were really interested despite being a very big baby.

I got hounded by certain family members over not weaning DD at 12 weeks. She had silent reflux and screamed all day long, but loved her milk. I stayed firm though it really affected me, and we weaned at 5.5 months. But she now has suspected nut allergy.

No one has bothered me with DS. Probably because he's a 24lb 5 month lump of a baby who doesn't cry. Not sure what to do with him about nuts.

Billsykesdog Whatever 'subtext' you think you got from my post I think you are reading too much into it, if my son is ready before 6 months I'm willing to consider weaning if health care professionals recommend it. Especially since I showed an interest in other people doing it before 6 months and whether it worked for them. Plus I didn't say I was being criticised, it's unsolicited advice, not criticism. I don't really understand why you posted other than to criticise me yourself to be honest.

Thank you all for your advice and experiences. I feel better equipped to deal with the weaning comments now

Art my ds1 is 13 and my health visitor advised me to start him on rice at 4 months, which I did and we had no problems. Holly was probably similarly advised by a health visitor? My ds2 is 10 weeks and the advice is 6 months but I know of babies who have started earlier and later than this and been fine. OP stick to your guns, you know best.

Fartniss, I weaned a bit early for all the reasons you outlined. Apparently babies are the most open and receptive to new tastes at about 4 and a half months. A couple of European countries have revised guidelines back down for all the reasons you mentioned.

DS was a touch short of five months. We went very slowly and it was mostly fruit and veg at the start. He was more than ready, took to food like a duck to water and is a phenomenal eater now at 2 and a half. I would absolutely do the same again. However, I think it is very dependent on the baby in question. My DF's daughter didn't really engage with solid food until she was about 11/12 months. So I think there's huge variation in 'readiness'.

DS1 was 4 months - he was a prem baby and this was medical advice from the consultant.
DS2 was 5 months - he nicked food from his brother and loved it. Cried when we took it off him.

Absolutely not unreasonable to wait until 6 months or when you feel your baby is ready - you know your DS best. Just ignore and do what you think is right.