To be annoyed at weaning fanatics

[StrawberryShortcake32]

Am I just being overly sentiitive/protective here?

Since DS hit the 3 month mark, everyone and their dog seems adamant that I should be introducing solids.

I am waiting for the 6 month mark because I want to do baby led weaning, DS seems totally happy with milk and the NHS recommends it. It just makes sense to me.

DS is a big boy and was 9lb 2oz at birth. He's a chunk! Sometimes he sleeps through in 6 hour blocks but recently the 4 month growth spirt has kicked in and he's waking every 3 hours for feeds. Fine with me, he's going through the growth spirt. He needs the extra milk.

My DM, Sis, MIL and a handful of friends seem to be obsessed with when I'm gonna feed him solids. One friend and MIL in particular don't seem to want to let it drop.
'Is he sleeping through yet? 'You need to give him baby rice/purees'

Appreciate people are excited but I'm sick of the constant insistence that I should be weaning him. Growth spirt = extra milk feeds. Not selfishly feeding him things his tummy can't handle yet just so I can get some extra sleep.If anything it'll probably do the opposite as he's had tummy troubles lately.

Untill now I've been polite about it.
'No he's not ready yet, he's shown no signs of wanting more than milk'

I'm on the verge of changing this to
'Will you please drop it! He's my son and I'll wean him when I decide it's time!'

AIBU to be so pissed off about this?
When did you guys wean? Did you wait for the 6 month mark or wean earlier? Did it work for you?

Thank you for reading my essay
X

3 months seems a bit young!

My MW said we could start at 4 months and we waited until his was 5 months when he started watching us when we ate. Still stuck his tongue out so tried once a week until he was 5.5 months when he gobbled food down and at 7 months he loves his food and has never rejected it or had any tummy troubles.

Ignore all 'helpful' people and decide when you feel it is right. Its going to be different for every baby

Artandco I know it was 4 months in 01 but baby was ready at about 3 and a bit months for a little extra and let me know. It could've been 6mths in 03 but baby then was ready for more at around 5 mths. I can remember asking MW about why they kept changing the guidelines and she said it was to do with a link to childhood obesity. Don't shoot the messenger that's what I was told lol I wasn't shoving beef burgers down their throats I'm talking about letting them suck on a piece of toast or a tiny bit of rusk and milk. All my boys turned out fine. Maybe I was lucky idk? But my point was that every baby is different and that they will let you know. What works for one won't always work for another.

YANBU - be led by your baby as to when he is ready for something more than milk. My DS was a small baby 6lbs 2oz. He showed signs of wanting more at 3 months. I switched to hungry baby milk. I gave him plastic spoons to play with. He was teething from 6 weeks which didn't help.

I started baby rice/purée from 4 months and he became a happy baby again. I went very slow and cautious with introducing different vegetable purées and then more substantial foods like mashed potatoes after 6 months. I saved the fruit until last and gave him finger foods with his purée. I had wanted to do BLW but had to listen to my child. I mixed the 2 approaches until he was about 12-14 months old. I was back at work and so he had the same meal as us, I just mashed it a bit, shredded the meat or cut things smaller. Obviously it was all low salt, low sugar meals. We added salt to ours when he wasn't looking! And still do at 5yrs old He now doesn't crave sugary foods and is more of a gravy boy! He likes to have his own personal gravy jug on the table!
Weaning is a really lovely, challenging and beautifully bonding time. Especially if Your baby is exclusively breastfed, this will be the first time he can get nourishment from someone else. People who love you will be excited. I hope you enjoy this time and feel able feed him what he needs when he's ready.

People do talk bollocks. Both mine started weaning at 6 months and I wouldn't do it any differently a third time. Breastmilk is way more calorific and filling than anything they manage to gum down at 4/5/6 months anyway. I never found starting solids made a blind bit of difference to their sleep. DD slept great, DS sleeps like crap, it's luck of the draw more than anything.

Sorry, I didn't mean to say breastmilk, just milk - I was thinking about what I did so wrote breastmilk because I BF!

My DS started a little blw when he was 25 weeks and starting solid food definitely made his sleep much worse as his body adapted to the change. It was also obvious that he wasn't actually digesting much of the food as (possible tmi) his poo was essentially still breastmilk poo with chewed up but undigested pieces of veg through it.

HollyMay84, it certainly was 4months too for me in 97-2001. You can only go by the guidelines at the time and whatever is being drummed in to you by the health visitor.

I don't understand why people get worked up by older relatives opinions, I had it with mine for different things, I smiled and ignored.

YY to knowing when they're ready. Both mine started weaning at 5.5mo: DD1 grabbed some food off my plate, stuffed it in her mouth and swallowed it before I could stop her. She'd already been sitting unaided for a month and with hindsight had been waiting for an opportunity to swipe my food for a while. DD2 was becoming incredibly unsettled for some unknown reason at dinnertime. DH had her on his lap and decided to let her lick some of the chicken he was eating. Again DD2 swiped and sunk it instantly then cheered up considerably. It was such a success she followed it with a few more pieces and some veg In both cases they were so ready and took to it like ducks to water. Both have been/are being BLW.

Resist OP, you know the guidelines and your baby.

And yes to milk being the most calorific thing if they're 'big hungry' babies! As a PP, it baffles me too how anyone thinks a bit of carrot is more filling than milk. As adults if we wanted to lose weight we'd up the carrots and lower the milk!

I'm going to go against the grain here as I did put mine on to purees early. DS at 4 months (2004 - health visitors advice) and DD at 5 months (knew what I was doing).

DS was feeding constantly all day ( I was b'feeding) and I was passing out trying to sustain it. He had bottles too but it just wasn't enough. He was big, 10lb at birth. The move onto purees was a move for us.

I'm afraid I was probably also v selfish when it came to sleep - I can't cope without it. Mine were v good sleepers, despite the all day eating and I just couldn't risk it.

But that was my choice, this is yours. Nobody should be saying he SHOULD be on purees. It's nobody else's business tbh.

DC2 is 16weeks and I'm starting to get those comments. I daren't tell anyone she was up 5 times last night as I'll be told she's hungry and needs baby rice. Ummm...no....she needs milk and is having a timely growth spurt.

I had exactly the same with my 98th percentile DS, loads of people weighing in from about 4 months to tell me that he was such a big baby he definitely wouldn't be getting enough just from my milk and I should be giving him solids - my response was always to ask how they thought he got to that size? That's right - my breastmilk! Eventually I saw the health visitor and she said I shouldn't introduce solids until 6m as it could damage his digestive system so after that I just trotted out the "well the HV has said not to" line anytime it was mentioned. Now he's 8m and eats brilliantly and has never had a moment of tummy trouble so I'm sure we did the right thing and solids have made sod all difference to him not sleeping through

I had ds back in 2008. Guidelines then were wait until 6 months and had been for some time. DS was a big baby, born 2 weeks late. I had fully intended to wait until 6 months. We had in fact booked his first holiday for when he was 5.5 months. Just a week by the sea in a self catered place. The plan was that I would start the weaning stuff when back home and settled.

But no. Someone had other ideas. Decided he quite liked the look of food on everybody else's plates. That milk was no longer cutting it.

They tell you when they are ready.

I tried rice at 4 months because of the lack of sleeping. Waste of time. Turned out he wasn't getting enough milk from me so we stitched to formula and he sleep. Solids at 6 months.

6 months with DS2

If their constant yapping annoys you just lie. Say he has rice before bed and for breakfast and tucks into fish and chips baby rusk at lunch time. Sometimes lying is less tiring than listening to the constant 'advice'

I waited until 6 months, I used to get the eye rolls and 'it didn't do my lot any harm' crap from (older) family. It was the potential link to bowel issues that was the main factor in me waiting, I've suffered horrifically with Crohns for almost half my life and any step I can take to minimise the risk for DS, regardless of how unfounded it was I was going to take. Weaning was a messy PITA anyway so I was glad to put it off for as long as possible.

Just out of interest how can a 3 month old baby let you know they are ready for solids? (Honestly no judgement, I'm genuinely interested)

Ive also noted that even if baby can eat the food it doesn't mean they can digest it and get anything out of it - all you have to do it look at the contents of their nappy!

Thank you all for your experiences.
DS is BF although I'm back at work soon so now he's combination bottle and breast so my DH can feed him too.

Its nice to know I'm not the only one.
My DH thinks we should try hungry baby milk to help with the growth spirt. Anyone had experiences with this milk?

Sorry jelly bean just seen your post.

I was referring to the signs that show he's ready that the NHS tell you.
Sitting up unaided, being able to put things in their mouth, showing an interest in your food and trying to take to from your plate etc.

THE didn't do mine any harm thing, how do you know? If we are talking about children born after the millennium they are all under 17 years old. Problems like ibs, gut issues etc thought to be increased by early weaning don't often show up until people are 30/40/50 years old. Hence lots of people around now at those ages who would have been weaned in the 60s-early 90s.

Strawberry - hungry baby milk just takes longer to digest. So can cause constipation in some or similar. I would stick to regular stage 1 milk, and just increase volume as needed.

Both of mine decided when they wanted food. Dc1 waited til just before 6 months before stealing my dinner, dc2 has been trying to steal my food since 3 months so I waited til 4 months (which meant dc2 was constantly annoyed and upset whenever we are food). Dc1 got crunchy veg and apple etc because they waited longer, dc2 gets mush once a day because im sure babies tummies can't handle crunchy veg much before 6 months (think I read that somewhere)

In short: Just go with what your baby wants. Mine wants mush...After 6 months I'll introduce chunkier stuff and see what happens...

jelly my first was 9lb 2oz he didn't take to bf at all so I don't know if that's anything to do with it. He was changed to hungry baby milk at 2wks and had 4/5oz every four hours for a while. That amount gradually went up to 9oz by the time he was about 10 wks. When he hit 12/13 weeks the timings started coming down to 9oz every 2ish hours. HV advised to try rusk and milk breakfast and dinner and once I'd done that he was back in his normal routine in a couple of days. It wasn't a whole rusk and could've been the extra bit of milk rather than the rusk. I did draw the line at mil trying to "thicken" the milk in his bottle with it!! He's now nearly 16! I feel sooo old! He's still got quite an appetite! The boy can eat lol

Well I stated solids with all my 4 at 3 months as that was the guidelines in late 80s early 90s and they are all healthy fine adults/teens.

however he's your son and you wean him when you feel it's right for him.

I think you need to snap back now to mil and friend and tell them you will do what is best for your son and you won't be discussing this topic again.

Sorry StrawberryShortcake32 that question was to Holly. But the putting things in his mouth is an interesting argument, my DS put everything in his mouth, he would've put dog shit in there if it was left in front of him. I just assumed that's what babies do, a way to explore it never entered my head that he was ready for weaning.

Artandco no you're right! I meant so far no problems. Obviously I hope they grow into healthy adults and so far the are just that. But what can you do other than go by your child, the guidelines and what health professionals tell you at the time? My eldest is no less healthy than my youngest. They were both weaned at different times and are both happy and healthy now. All my children are.

There is some emerging evidence that slightly earlier introduction of some foods can reduce allergies, so it wouldn't surprise me if the guidelines change yet again at some point.

But... it totally depends on the baby as to when they are ready. They need to sit unaided, have good head control and have lost the tongue thrust reflex. They do vary a lot as to when they do that. Ds started having solids at four months as he was losing weight and wouldn't take a bottle. But every baby is different, and you know your baby best!

As with all unsolicited advice, smile, nod, consider it briefly to see if there's anything in it then use your own judgement ;)