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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you and your DP/DH compromise on the temperature of your room while sleeping

23 replies

Derlei · 06/02/2017 00:07

DS has moved in to his own room a few days ago. Since he's been born, DH has slept in the spare room as he likes to have the windows open and sometimes, the fan on. He also snores so we agreed that bar from the odd night here and there, we would sleep separately.

He has moved back in now that DS is in his own room.
He is snoring and has farted twice, which is annoying but I can cope with it. However what's really grating me is the fact that he has to have the room ice cold otherwise he can't sleep. We have the window open. It's minus fucking 1. And the radiator dial is turned right down to Off. He's sleeping in just his underwear.
I'm in my thermals, and whilst underneath the covers it is lovely and toasty, every once in a while I do need to stick my head out to fucking breathe and it's like being in a fridge.

I hope I come down with a hoarsey cough in the morning so I can demonstrate to him how unreasonable he's being.
I've put the dial up to 3, he's heard me do it so no doubt if he wakes up in the night "hot" he'll blame me for it!
WIbU to go back to separate sleeping arrangements!?

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 06/02/2017 00:11

Haha! DH and I disagree on ideal sleeping temperature too, although since we got a new duvet from ikea it seems to be solved. It's toasty enough for me but he doesn't find it too warm and the room itself isn't freezing either.

ThirdTimeLuck · 06/02/2017 00:13

I'd rather be comfortable so I'd be booting him out unless he compromised on the temperature, I tend to be freezing at night and as long as you're making an effort to wrap up then he should be budging a bit.

How did you manage before DS?

LoupGarou · 06/02/2017 00:15

I feel the cold and have some fairly serious health issues, so DH insists that the bedroom is at a temperature to suit me.

Juveniledelinquent · 06/02/2017 00:18

Separate rooms.

Original poster

Derlei · 06/02/2017 00:21

Thanks Bertie, it's worth a try! I have suggested to him that he leaves all the duvet for me, but funnily enough he is still pulls it off me during the night!

Thirdtimeluck - well last winter, I was pregnant and we were doing a huge renovation on the house so I went to stay with my mum between November and March as I refused to stay in a building site and sleep on a mattress on the floor while pregnant
I genuinely can't remember the winters prior to that, I do think though that he's become less tolerant to heat over the past few years. I worry whether or not it's normal and if he should get himself checked out

OP posts:

Mrsknackered · 06/02/2017 00:23

When you find a solution let me know. My DP puts the heating on ALL night and it's a constant battle of me getting up to turn it off.
I like to be warm. Not to be sweating like a pig.

lalalalyra · 06/02/2017 00:24

I'd sleep separately in those circumstances. We like the room at slightly different temperatures - DH would prefer it a bit warmer and I'd prefer it a bit cooler, but we settle in the middle and have our own duvets (mine is paper thin - his is like he sleeps in the artic (and would be even with the heating on)) so can both be comfortable.

Can you compromise by a shut window and low radiator? At least that way it doesn't get colder? See how you both get on.

lalalalyra · 06/02/2017 00:25

I have suggested to him that he leaves all the duvet for me, but funnily enough he is still pulls it off me during the night!

Get your own duvets. Seriously. It's a game changer. I don't think DH and I would have got married had someone not suggested it - we were that incompatible duvet wise.

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2017 00:25

Separate rooms. DH likes it a lot cooler than I do but he doesn't want the window open when it's minus one! We try to compromise. I have the heater on to warm the room up before bed, but switch it off when under the covers. If he gets hot, he'll throw the duvet back (but not off me) or open the window but only for a few minutes to cool off, it's not left open.

MrsA2015 · 06/02/2017 00:31

Separate duvets! Dunelm mill have a duvet that splits into two, one Side being thicker (for me) and the other very thing (for dp) as he sweats a lot. I put the heating on for a while and close the bedroom door to let the room heat up prior to going to bed and then have it on timer the rest of the night so it doesn't get too cold . Seems to be working as before we were constantly at logger heads!

MrsA2015 · 06/02/2017 00:32

buttery almost cross post there

ExplodedCloud · 06/02/2017 00:41

I really struggle to get to sleep without fresh air circulating. DH goes up first and I open the window once he's warm under the duvet.

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2017 00:44

MrsA Great minds

AlmostAJillSandwich · 06/02/2017 00:48

My house doesn't have any heating, it is absolutely freezing at night and i struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep because of the cold. Is he under the blanket or on top of it? If he's under it surely you can close the window, and put the radiator on low. Instead of the body heat trapped by the blanket the ambient room temperature would keep him at the temperature he seems to like. I'm sick of being able to see my breath when i breathe out, and the cold gives me headaches. I have taken to tenting myself by having my blanket pulled up over my head and tucked under to keep it closed, but i don't like breathing warm air, so i inevitably have a dressing gown over the top of my blanket with the hood over the back and side of my face but with my nose and mouth free to breathe the cool air whilst keeping my face and head warm. I must look insane. No DP here though so not having to worry about enclosed noxious farts. I can hear my dad snoring and his radio he sleeps with on beside him.

mummc2 · 06/02/2017 00:51

My hubby sleeps in just his boxers and we never have heating on (I must admit I get too hot with it on) and we have window slightly cracked for fresh air (that ones me!!)
So I sleep with snugly pjs and fully cocoon myself with the quilt. If he's got a cold or had a drink he's a guaranteed snorer so I make sure I'm first in bed so am asleep by time he gets in

ChocDee · 06/02/2017 00:56

I looooove sleeping in a freezing cold room. DH not so much!
We have an electric blanket with dual control so he can sleep in a sweaty puddle and I can be just right on the other side. Yes, he does throw the occasional tantrum but I did let him close the window the night he found him self covered in a light dusting of snow. Marriage is about compromise after all!

BagelGoesWalking · 06/02/2017 00:59

"I'm sick of being able to see my breath when i breathe out,"

Jeez, that's a bit much! I have to put up with farts and snoring. I have been known to snore a bit but not as much as OH. My favourite nights are when he's away and I can go to bed, have the radio on and watch something on Netflix before sleep

mumeeee · 06/02/2017 01:14

We don't have the heating or Windows open at night. DH wears thinner pyjamas than me but otherwise we are fairly compatible on room temperature

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 06/02/2017 01:55

I'd send him to his Doctor for a check up - tyroid and blood pressure at least. Minus one, sleeping in boxers with windows open and heating off There's obviously something wrong with him.

melj1213 · 06/02/2017 02:19

Some people just run hot - I'm one of them - and I need my room to be cold for me to be able to sleep properly ... window open 365 days a year, heating never on at night, 4.5tog summer duvet all year round and either sleping in underwear, light cotton pjs or shorts/vest top

I am single right now but when I was with my ex he was the opposite, always cold and wanted the windows closed and heating right up etc but in the end the bedroom stayed cold - because, as it was reasoned, if you're cold you can add more warmth (seperate duvets, electric blanket on his side of the bed, extra blankets, thermal pjs etc) ... if you're hot there are only so many layers you can remove and if you're still hot then, well you physically can't do any more.

Araminta99 · 06/02/2017 04:26

I'm always cold but my DH is warm. He has the temperature to suit me.

BusyBeez99 · 06/02/2017 05:32

Separate rooms here
DH likes it cold with curtains open. I like it dark with 13 tog duvet and bed socks even in summer

We've stayed married because of doing this! No sleep equals ratty DH equals no fun!!

picklemepopcorn · 06/02/2017 05:51

Separate duvets and wear a hat! Old fashioned but effective! Or a dressing gown with the hood up.

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