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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Divorce?

22 replies

Notcreative23 · 05/02/2017 21:02

Posting here only for traffic. So I know UK has a law that you must be married for one year in order to get a divorce. Is there anyway around this?

OP posts:
Ilovecaindingle · 05/02/2017 21:05

Annulment?

Prompto · 05/02/2017 21:16

There are no exceptions to the one year rule so your only options would be to wait a year or to apply for an annulment. You can only get an annulment in specific circumstances though.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 05/02/2017 21:47

You can get your marriage annulled if it should never legally have happened...in which case you were never legally married but the paperwork makes it official.

Otherwise there are voidable reasons straight from government site:

Your marriage is defective - ‘voidable’ marriages
You can annul a marriage if:

it wasn’t consummated - you haven’t had sex with the person you married since the wedding (doesn’t apply for same sex couples)
you didn’t properly consent to the marriage - eg you were drunk or forced into it
the other person had a sexually transmitted disease when you got married
the woman was pregnant by another man when you got married

Original poster
Notcreative23 · 05/02/2017 22:04

What if you were pregnant for wedding? Can you use that as a "hormonal" and "not in right state of mind"?

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/02/2017 22:09

If the baby is biologically that of the man you married, then probably not no. Were you actually forced to marry, or did you think it a good idea at the time and then change your mind afterwards? Unless you were actually pressured/forced to marry him by him or family because you were pregnant i don't think you'd qualify for annulment.

Evergreen777 · 05/02/2017 22:12

There's no time limit on separation though. You can move out/throw him out, separate your finances, and get on with life as two separate people any time you want

Arcadia · 05/02/2017 22:12

Other alternative is legal separation but you are still technically married 😞 sometimes done for religious reasons.

Seeingadistance · 05/02/2017 22:20

Please don't play on the horrible and offensive stereotype of pregnant women being irrational and incapable of making sound decisions.

Original poster
Notcreative23 · 05/02/2017 22:28

seeingadistance I'm in a terrible situation and need to move back out of the UK with my two children. My husband is a nasty individual and we need to get away. I want a divorce not a separation because I gave up everything to move here to be with him and without that he won't have to provide any support for myself or children.

OP posts:
Arcadia · 05/02/2017 22:32

With a divorce you will do better financially than an annulment. If annulment you would only get the child maintenance (assuming he is stronger party financially- which your latest post suggests). But you don't qualify for annulment anyway.

Arcadia · 05/02/2017 22:37

And don't want to increase your stress but you can't just leave the country with the children - you would need his permission to relocate. That is according to children law, not to do with marriage

Arcadia · 05/02/2017 22:38

Sorry his permission or a Court Order

Seeingadistance · 05/02/2017 22:40

You really need to get good legal advice, especially when you say that you want to leave the UK with your children.

Arcadia · 05/02/2017 22:42

Agree with seeing

WhippinPiccadilly1 · 05/02/2017 22:45

I'm sorry - but no. Not in England at least. I've recently been through it after finding out on my wedding day my husband had cheated on me.

I couldn't get an annulment as a) I was pregnant and b) because of the pregnancy it would have been harder (and more costly) to argue for annulment.

I understand your pain. It was the longest year of my life. I was forced to put his name on my baby's birth certificate giving him parental responsibility because I was married (but there was no way of me being divorced thanks to the Law....). I was so angry at the time. Flowers

mummymummums · 05/02/2017 22:54

I believe a judicial separation does not require a 12 month marriage. It's a court process with similar grounds to divorce but you can ask the court to consider financial remedies too, similar to divorce. You're still married but at least court can make financial awards and you can divorce later

mummymummums · 05/02/2017 22:55

But you do need his permission or a court order to take the children abroad or you commit criminal offence of child abduction

Original poster
Notcreative23 · 06/02/2017 04:55

He's already said I can take them so that won't be an issue. I just don't trust that if we leave he will follow through on divorce.

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 06/02/2017 15:00

Whenever children are involved you really need to see a lawyer and get all agreements put into writing and formalised. Add in the complexity of you moving abroad, then it really is very important.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/02/2017 15:37

Please contact Womens Aid 0808 2000 247
They may be able to help you with this.
If he is abusive you may get legal aid as well.

Evergreen777 · 06/02/2017 18:14

You can divorce someone whilst living in a different country from them, so you wouldn't need to leave it up to him.
And he can't divorce you any faster than you can divorce him anyway.

PRBunny · 06/02/2017 18:29

You haven't given very many clues to your circumstances but if this was a forced or arranged marriage, the Forced Marriage Unit may be able to help you.

I don't know how to link from my phone but the Forced Marriage Unit will come up by Google search.

It's also possible that I may have got your circumstances totally wrong but I hope this may help in some way.

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