to leave my mum a glass of wine then take the bottle to friends?

[teaandakitkat]

I was going round to a friends house, me, her and another good friend, people I've known for ages and don't feel any need to try and impress or anything. DH was away, my mum came to babysit.
As I was leaving I asked her if she wanted a glass of wine from the bottle I was taking to my friends. Mum was horrified and said it was terrible bad manners and even though she did fancy a glass of wine she couldn't take it.

I don't see the problem at all. I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind either. None of us are big drinkers during the week and only two of us drink red wine so there was still plenty for a glass each.

So AIBU to take a bottle of wine with a glass missing to my friends, or is my mum BU to refuse a drink?

the point of taking wine to a dinner party isn't to match it to the meal - it's for the host to drink whenever s/he wants

Not quite, the polite thing to do is to serve the wine that was brought, same way you would serve the dessert. It's a bit rude for the host to hide the bottle and serve something else.

There's a difference between a 'friend's night in' and a dinner party. It sounds as if the OP was going to the former.

About wine: it depends. At a smart do, the wine for the meal would have been chosen and already uncorked and 'airing' or whatever wine does. Your bottle would be a gift. At a less smart do, maybe hosted by younger or less posh or less rich folk (me!) the expectation is that everyone will bring a bottle to share, and it will get opened and drunk. (Though any not opened will of course be left for the hosts).

Not quite, the polite thing to do is to serve the wine that was brought, same way you would serve the dessert. It's a bit rude for the host to hide the bottle and serve something else.

Dessert is perishable. Normally the host(ess) would already have wine open/chilled/decanted by the time the guests arrive so it's perfectly normal to set the wine to the side.

How long do you decant (most) wines for? I have never been served food the minute I walked through the door, so by the time you seat down for the meal, have starters etc.., more than enough time has been left for the wine to be ready.

How long do you decant (most) wines for? I have never been served food the minute I walked through the door, so by the time you seat down for the meal, have starters etc.., more than enough time has been left for the wine to be ready.

I typically decant a couple of bottles of wine in the late afternoon when I'm hosting, but I've already confessed that I don't match wine with food so I serve the decanted wine to anyone requesting red as they walk in the door.

My husband loves Sancerre so he'd probably arrange to have a bottle chilling to serve with fish or whatever (I'm possibly revealing my ignorance of wine) but this is really the outer limit of any kind of wine 'organisation' that might exist at our dinner parties.