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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset over make up artist?

78 replies

Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 13:37

So, yesterday I had a make up trial for my August wedding. My sister, who is also one of my bridesmaids came to try out the bridesmaids' look and, what should have been enjoyable, was anything but.

As the bride, I feel like I should have come away feeling beautiful, excited for my wedding and like a princess. I didn't! My sister, who is a little attention seeking (you know the type - posts a sultry selfie with a caption about how repusive she is) took over the entire morning. She spoke about how ugly she was, which made my mother in law (who I get on with amazingly) and I roll our eyes so hard, because it's very untrue, so the make up artist constantly spent the morning reassuring her she was stunning.

I felt my make up was rushed and I actually felt really s*ty about how I looked and felt after and she barely spoke to me. She spent a considerable amount of time on my sister and, when we left, she kept telling her how beautiful and stunning she is. It didn't make me feel great.

I'm not an attention seeker, I don't generally need to be told I'm beautiful, but on my wedding day and after the make up trial I do want to feel incredible, as a bride I want to be the centre of attention and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I feel as though the make up artist should ensure I feel just that.

Later on I emailed the lady as I felt I wanted heavier foundation and slight tweaks to my look. Once again she focussed on my sister - "can I have an email for your sister, as she looked incredible today. I have some stunning photos and would love to send them on".

AIBU to feel jealous, upset and angry, to feel that she was unprofessional and to want to look elsewhere?

OP posts:
Rioja123 · 05/02/2017 13:41

I would be upset too. I'd probably request another trial only for you. I'm getting married in September and don't think I'll be bothering to do a make up trial for the bridesmaids anyway.

anyname123 · 05/02/2017 13:41

Sorry you had an awful time.
I would use a different make up artist, and don'the take your sister to the next trial. Your wedding, you are priority. She will just have to have what she's given or arrange her own Flowers

Greta84 · 05/02/2017 13:41

YANBU but your sisters look really doesn't matter. So why don't you and your mother in law or someone else you trust go? Then book the nake up artist. If your sister wants to be involved then step it up a bit and have a word with her! Say it's my day I need to concentrate on my look !

TwoTicketsToTeesside · 05/02/2017 13:44

I'd look elsewhere, that does sound unprofessional.

If your sister really has to have a trial too, could you also book in slots next time instead of sitting there together?

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2017 13:45

This is your sister's fault for putting the make up artist in a difficult position, I think.

Also, I think you have quite an unrealistic idea of what wearing some make can can do.

You wanted to come away feeling like a princess and the most beautiful woman in the world? I think it's all too much responsibility to put onto one person, who applies make up.

Perhaps leave your sister behind next time and lower your expectations slightly? I'm sure you'll look lovely on the day, either with or without the make up artist's help.

OFFFS · 05/02/2017 13:45

I'd go back to the make up artist and tell her you weren't happy, and ask her to do it again. That's the point of a trial surely? And I imagine you're paying a fair whack for it.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2017 13:46

*Of what wearing some make up can do.

Berthatydfil · 05/02/2017 13:48

Who is paying for the mua?
If it's you I suggest you tell her that it's your wedding you are paying for her to do your make up primarily and if she wants the job she needs to focus on the client who pays the bill- and you would like another trial just yourself. If she's not unable to do that then you will have to find someone who will,

greenworm · 05/02/2017 13:49

I think your expectations sound a bit much, but at the same time if the MUA really did make more of a fuss of your sister than you I see that's annoying.

Berthatydfil · 05/02/2017 13:49

Not able

Talith · 05/02/2017 13:53

Two issues here. If your sister is attention seeking this will be the case whoever is doing the makeup so consider the trial an accurate representation of how the wedding make up will go. Secondly you don't sound thrilled at the result so perhaps find another artist. And at your next trial don't invite your sister.

A third issue actually - which is expecting perfection in relation to anything is likely to result in disappointment. It is easy to think with weddings everything should be perfect and you should feeling magical but it rarely pans out that way so try and roll with it a bit. You know the important part is getting married. Even still - I can see how your sister was irritating and when you are paying for a luxury you want to feel you have got value for money.

Make up is tricky too. I never like how I look in full makeup even professionally done and have always felt a certain disappointment that I look like a drag queen and not Cheryl Cole.

winniewigs · 05/02/2017 13:53

Go solo next time. It's a shame that your sister couldn't just support you, and not make it all about her though.

I had a bm a bit like this on my wedding day. She kept coming up to me and telling me what her mum had just text her, or what her brother had just done. I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to be dealing with her family issues at that particular moment.

CuppaSarah · 05/02/2017 13:53

Regardless of anything, I'm not sure you'll easily be able to forget this before your wedding day. Might be worth finding another and keeping your sister away for the next trial and have her get ready in a different room on the day!

My sister is similar, but my wedding make up artist saw straight through it and when my sister was out of earshot was very reassuring and made me laugh. Honestly my sister tried to ruin my wedding morning and without my make up artist being there to help me smile and laugh i would have been miserable and resentful about it. You want someone who makes you feel supported, if you're getting married in the surrey/hants area send me a pm and I#ll give you the details of her!

BillSykesDog · 05/02/2017 13:54

I think you should sack her off. It sounds like because your sister is pretty she is using her to portfolio build rather than concentrate on the job.

Get a new MUA for you and tell bridesmaids to do their own.

EZA15 · 05/02/2017 13:56

Is it too late to find another make up artist?

HyacinthsBucket · 05/02/2017 13:58

I'd say find another make up artist. It was your wedding the trial was for, and the fact she focused on your sister rather than you isn't something I'd be putting up with let alone on my wedding day. I'd also make sure you have your own space for getting ready on the day - well away from your sister.

GoEasyPudding · 05/02/2017 14:04

New MUA as quick as you like and don't include your sister in the trial and don't even tell her anything about it. Tell the MUA that you have decided to "go in another direction".

Also if possible sister should be relegated to another household to do her own makeup on the big day.

I'm rather upset for you OP! So take control!

TheTroutofNoCraic · 05/02/2017 14:04

I've been a bridesmaid 3 times. Each time, the bride went for a makeup trial and we didn't, we just had it done on the day. That just seems to make more sense to me.

I did my own make up for my wedding because I hate people doing my makeup, and don't feel anyone knows my face as well as I do...so I just splurged on lovely cosmetics for the day. I appreciate this route isn't for everyone though.

Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 14:06

I know a make up artist can't work miracles, but it was more that I wanted to feel special, like she'd taken the time out to make me look better than I do on an average day. I knew it wouldn't look exactly as I had in mind, but I came away with my self esteem on the floor.

I totally agree with the comments that my sister was as much to blame. I think I did the wrong thing in feeling like, because she's my sister she should be bridesmaid and attend the trial. That said, my feeling yesterday is that the make up artist should have put me first as, like one comment said, I paid for yesterday and the bride should be the most important. Ofcourse I'm expecting blips on the day and in the lead up, I think it's part of he wedding tradition for something to go wrong.

OP posts:
Boolovessulley · 05/02/2017 14:07

I think the problem was created by your sister.
I imagine it to be very hard dealing with such childlike behaviour.
After all, your sister is a client too
Whoever you use, make sure your sister is not there she. You have your make up done,
Tell her to go away when you are getting ready.

Tbh she sounds like a bloody nightmare.

Was she the same over the bridesmaid dresses?

Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 14:07

You're not the first to suggest doing my own. It's something I'm not considering.

OP posts:
Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 14:09

She wasn't too bad on the dresses, but she refused to attend the same fitting as the others

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/02/2017 14:09

Find another MUA and go solo and just have the others done on the day.

maddening · 05/02/2017 14:11

I would email back to say that as I am the bride who is paying for her service that her focus is off

And perhaps if her response to that does not show her intention to please you, her customer thenumber suddenly remember that she is not the only makeup artist in the world and ditch her.

MargaretCavendish · 05/02/2017 14:12

but on my wedding day and after the make up trial I do want to feel incredible, as a bride I want to be the centre of attention and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

I think these are quite high expectations of your wedding day. They are extraordinarily high expectations of the day where somewhere came round to your house to put some make-up on. By all means find a new make-up artists - you don't seem to have gelled with this one, you weren't very keen on the results and you have more than enough time - but I think be a bit more low-key about the next trial: it's a pragmatic thing (and the whole point is it's a 'trial', so the outcome probably won't be perfect), so expecting it to be some sort of magical experience is probably always going to lead to disappointment.

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