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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset over make up artist?

78 replies

Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 13:37

So, yesterday I had a make up trial for my August wedding. My sister, who is also one of my bridesmaids came to try out the bridesmaids' look and, what should have been enjoyable, was anything but.

As the bride, I feel like I should have come away feeling beautiful, excited for my wedding and like a princess. I didn't! My sister, who is a little attention seeking (you know the type - posts a sultry selfie with a caption about how repusive she is) took over the entire morning. She spoke about how ugly she was, which made my mother in law (who I get on with amazingly) and I roll our eyes so hard, because it's very untrue, so the make up artist constantly spent the morning reassuring her she was stunning.

I felt my make up was rushed and I actually felt really s*ty about how I looked and felt after and she barely spoke to me. She spent a considerable amount of time on my sister and, when we left, she kept telling her how beautiful and stunning she is. It didn't make me feel great.

I'm not an attention seeker, I don't generally need to be told I'm beautiful, but on my wedding day and after the make up trial I do want to feel incredible, as a bride I want to be the centre of attention and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I feel as though the make up artist should ensure I feel just that.

Later on I emailed the lady as I felt I wanted heavier foundation and slight tweaks to my look. Once again she focussed on my sister - "can I have an email for your sister, as she looked incredible today. I have some stunning photos and would love to send them on".

AIBU to feel jealous, upset and angry, to feel that she was unprofessional and to want to look elsewhere?

OP posts:

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 05/02/2017 14:13

Regardless of your Sister, very unprofessional. Look elsewhere, it's your Wedding Day, you so deserve to feel special.

HateSummer · 05/02/2017 14:15

I used to think MUA was a surname! Anyone can become a MUA with a one week course. Did your MUA show you any good previous work? Any references?

I'd find someone else tbh, and not involve your sis, because if she did this on the trial, she'll be worse on the day. Unless someone tells her to stop being an attention seeking cow.

ToastieRoastie · 05/02/2017 14:15

You need a MUA who focuses on you - you really should find another.

I wouldn't be letting the new MUA do your sisters make-up on the day either. It will get very fraught if she pulls the same tricks - you don't want any MUA getting distracted by her. If your sister wants a MUA, then she can book one to go directly to her - you shouldn't be arranging it.

Serialweightwatcher · 05/02/2017 14:16

I suggest you change the make up artist, book another one just for you, as the bride and the most important on the day, and let everyone else do their own make up or arrange their own make up artist.

KateDaniels2 · 05/02/2017 14:19

I think you are being incredibly harsh on the make up artist.

Your sister sounds kiek a bit of an attention seeking twat. MUA was probably throen and used to reassuring people. You obviously didnt need any reassuring.

Your sister is the issue. She will be an issue on the day as well especially since you seem to accept a backseat, even though it upsets you.

If i had have been you, i wouldnt have included her in the trial. Or at least said 'come on sis, thats enough now....can we concentrate on my make up since its my wedding and i am paying'.

Allthewaves · 05/02/2017 14:20

Just book abother mua trail with somewone else and go by yourself

user1477282676 · 05/02/2017 14:25

I used to work in a bridal shop and the first thing I was taught was to give the bride a lot of attention...SHE was the focus and I wasn't to be sidetracked by whoever she was with.

It did happen where Mothers, MILs, sisters or friends would try to grab all the attention. I became adept at making sure it stayed the bride's expereince.

Email her, tell her why you don't want her and why you will be looking for a more professional artist.

DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 05/02/2017 14:25

Get another trial with a different make up artist. This one was unprofessional if she couldn't manage to keep the focus on the bride when someone is trying to detract and take over. Perhaps have it on your own, or if family politics don't allow have a discussion first about their strategies for dealing with people who behave like your sister so that they are forewarned and you are comfortable they can handle it and keep their focus on you.

Butterymuffin · 05/02/2017 14:32

Agree with the other posts. Get a different make up artist, go to the trial without the bridesmaids, and just book for you to be done. Or if you really want your bridesmaids done too, then arrange for theirs to be in a separate room.

As you get on well with your MIL, and she is clearly on the same page as you about your sister's behaviour, could you delegate her to deal with your sister on the wedding day and remind her if needed that it's not all about her?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/02/2017 14:32

Sorry but i'd expect a second trial free of charge, or ideally a refund. You're not "just" the bride you were the paying client. Her attentions and at least half of the time, should have been spent on you. Yes it was nice of her to verbally reassure your sister, but to not be friendly and chatty with you and barely speak to you is off. Absolutely no way should she have rushed your makeup to spend more time on your sisters. Honestly sounds like she thought she'd get better portfolio pics of your sister and was thinking "more cash in future from more clients" not "i've been paid to do make up for THIS client". If she's still banging on about your sister when you're trying to discuss alterations you'd want and things you didn't think were quite right about your own look, i'd lose even more faith in her and honestly look elsewhere. I'd also be giving a rather mixed review if there's anywhere to be putting one, even just on local FB or other online wedding forums. Not saying shes awful, don't use her etc, but explaining you felt let down and overlooked despite being the bride and paying client, because she possibly felt she could get "better" pics of your sister for her own means instead of splitting time and attention fairly.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/02/2017 14:35

I would not be using her again, she sounds very unprofessional.

BlueFolly · 05/02/2017 14:37

Definitely don't go with her if you think she thought your sister is prettier. V unprofessional of her not to hide it if that's what she thought.

DelphineCormier · 05/02/2017 14:43

I would cancel her tbh (and find another makeup artist, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting someone else to do it for you). And I would tell her exactly why.

ADishBestEatenCold · 05/02/2017 14:44

"Later on I emailed the lady as I felt I wanted heavier foundation and slight tweaks to my look. Once again she focussed on my sister - "can I have an email for your sister"

Actually, I think you should get another make-up artist just for yourself. Shop around for one ... really shop around for one ... until you get one that you 'click' with. One that's going to make you feel good!

You are not now going to click with that particular artist and, no matter how good (or not) a job she does with you, you are not going to feel as good as you could do.

If you have already contracted that particular make-up artist and paid a deposit, then use that contract/deposit for the Bridesmaids (and you & fiance's mothers, if they'd like to book her too) with a set time of service for each person (so she doesn't spend all the time on your sister, to the detriment of other bridesmaids). Be firm in your instructions.

happypoobum · 05/02/2017 14:44

I would definitely email the MUA back and say you found her focus was entirely on DSis and that you will be using a different MUA ( and don't give her Dsis details)

Really unprofessional.

Bluntness100 · 05/02/2017 14:45

after the make up trial I do want to feel incredible, as a bride I want to be the centre of attention and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I feel as though the make up artist should ensure I feel just that

SapphireStrange · 05/02/2017 14:46

It's very easy to blame your sister, but the make-up artist is the professional in this scenario and I think she should have read the situation and known how to deal with it. Replying to you with comments/requests about your sister is particularly .
I'd go with someone different, TBH. And tell her why if she asks.

DelphineCormier · 05/02/2017 14:51

Dear MUA,

On the subject of my sister, I would just like to express my disappointment with your attitude at my make-up trial yesterday. While I really appreciate you taking the time to make my sister feel beautiful, I ended up feeling rather neglected at a trial for my own wedding, and second-best to my sister. I want all my bridesmaids to feel beautiful on my wedding day, but also want the day to be just that. I wanted a makeup artist to take charge of makeup so I could feel beautiful and confident, and came away from the session feeling pushed aside and an afterthought. It was not the experience I was hoping for.

With that in mind, I will be making alternative arrangements for my wedding day. Thank you for your time,

Charlotte

hoddtastic · 05/02/2017 14:52

i don't understand why you are having someone you don't like as a bridesmaid. this way lies madness,

rookiemere · 05/02/2017 14:55

I hear what you're saying OP.

I'm not a particularly princessy person but when it comes to being a bride, it's one of the very few occasions where you rightly feel that you deserve to be centre of attention.

I'm looking at your DF - who chose to reveal your concerns about DM's health as you walked down the aisle with me ( 11+ years since and she is fine) or your DM - who got all worked up about my aunt being there and spent the morning telling me how awful she was until she was so worked up I had to go out and get her anti-nausea pills from the doctor.

Get a new make up artist. Try her on your own. If you're happy go with her - maybe primer her in advance that your Dsis can be a bit of a special snowflake. Get your Dsis to get her make up done after yours on the day and be doing something else whilst it happens.

Oh and yes I'd email back the original MUA and explain that you've decided to go elsewhere.

DameXanaduBramble · 05/02/2017 14:58

Can you let her do your make up first, nobody else in the room and then she can do everyone else?

ArseyTussle · 05/02/2017 14:58

I'd be tempted to sack off the bridesmaid and keep the MUA.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 05/02/2017 15:00

Get rid of the mua and let someone have a quiet word with your sister, maybe your mum or your MIL?

helpimitchy · 05/02/2017 15:07

OP, you do realise that your sister will be making your wedding all about her on the day don't you? She's going to act up if this is what her behaviour is like. You need to either stop her being a bridesmaid or tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to rein herself in and stop being so selfish.

travellinghopefully12 · 05/02/2017 15:13

How horrible for you.

I would be desperately upset at MUA for not gauging the situation and then sending the email about Dsis. Could have forgiven the former if not for the latter.

There are a lot of good makeup artists who deserve the work so go to one of them, and ask for a full refund, stating why.

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