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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset over make up artist?

78 replies

Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 13:37

So, yesterday I had a make up trial for my August wedding. My sister, who is also one of my bridesmaids came to try out the bridesmaids' look and, what should have been enjoyable, was anything but.

As the bride, I feel like I should have come away feeling beautiful, excited for my wedding and like a princess. I didn't! My sister, who is a little attention seeking (you know the type - posts a sultry selfie with a caption about how repusive she is) took over the entire morning. She spoke about how ugly she was, which made my mother in law (who I get on with amazingly) and I roll our eyes so hard, because it's very untrue, so the make up artist constantly spent the morning reassuring her she was stunning.

I felt my make up was rushed and I actually felt really s*ty about how I looked and felt after and she barely spoke to me. She spent a considerable amount of time on my sister and, when we left, she kept telling her how beautiful and stunning she is. It didn't make me feel great.

I'm not an attention seeker, I don't generally need to be told I'm beautiful, but on my wedding day and after the make up trial I do want to feel incredible, as a bride I want to be the centre of attention and feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I feel as though the make up artist should ensure I feel just that.

Later on I emailed the lady as I felt I wanted heavier foundation and slight tweaks to my look. Once again she focussed on my sister - "can I have an email for your sister, as she looked incredible today. I have some stunning photos and would love to send them on".

AIBU to feel jealous, upset and angry, to feel that she was unprofessional and to want to look elsewhere?

OP posts:
mya83 · 05/02/2017 15:14

I would email the make up artist and say you weren't satisfied that she focused entirely on your sister when it is in fact you that's booked her for your wedding.

stoopido · 05/02/2017 15:16

Definitely find a new makeup artist and on the day have one for you solely. I also agree with asking your sister to rein it in.

BalloonSlayer · 05/02/2017 15:16

I would get another MUA and this time have a trial with her on your own, and explain everything.

Then tell the other MUA why, nicely. "I felt my sister tried to take over and instead of politely making sure she didn't manage it, you went with it and she ended up with the majority of your time spent on her. I'm afraid I would expect a MUA to be able to cope with, and deflect, a pushy bridesmaid. I'm going to have to go with someone else, sorry. "

DameFanny · 05/02/2017 15:24

Fire the MUA and your sister? She's never going to let your wedding day be about you, is she?

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 05/02/2017 15:24

I think you probably do need to find another MUA as this one has obviously been spoilt for you, but I wholly agree that you need to deal with your sister. She needs to know how you felt about yesterday, and she needs to understand that her role as a bridesmaid is to support you. If she isn't willing to do that then perhaps she should be a guest at the wedding instead of a bridesmaid.

KateDaniels2 · 05/02/2017 15:28

Op what are you going to do when you are all getting ready and your sister is making it all about her on the day of the wedding.

Because it sounds like she will and then you are going to end up feeling that your big day wasnt your big day at all.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/02/2017 15:36

Previous posters are right, @Charlotte987 - your sister is going to be 100 times worse on the wedding day.

Do you have another bridesmaid or family member who could give her a good talking-to about whose day it actually IS, and who can keep her in line on the big day?

Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 15:40

My sister has annoyed a few of my friends previously, and my best friend and mother in law have said today that they are going to speak to her, it is sorted before the actual day.

The positive is that there are still 6 months and I have had two alternative make up artists recommended and have emailed both today.

Thank you for all the comments. I think yesterday I should have spoken up, but we were in the MUA's home and I was a little bit taken aback by it all

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 05/02/2017 15:43

I would use a different make up artist, and don'the take your sister to the next trial

THIS ^^^

Or get another make-up artist and warn her about your sister. Ask her to respond in a more appropriate manner.eg

Sister: Oh God! I'm sooo ugly! I wish I could just put a bag over my head so no-one could see what a freak I am. ()

Make-up Artist: Don't worry, pet. You'll grow into your face eventually. Most people do and then they look average, just like everybody else. In the meantime I'll do what I can so you don't frighten the flower girls.

helpimitchy · 05/02/2017 15:45

Please think seriously about binning your sister as a bridesmaid. I had a bm who tried to make it all about her and it was miserable. Dh had to get his best man and his wife to keep her away from me because all she did was pester me and act up. "Get fucking rid of her" ended up as my wedding day catchphrase Hmm

Your sister may simply lack the maturity to cope with it and it will drag you down and spoil the day if she gets away with it.

Sherlock35 · 05/02/2017 15:53

I'd be more worried about your sister trying to be the centre of attention all the time in the lead up to your wedding tbh

It wasn't very well done of your MUA but your sister is behaving very badly indeed.

IMissGrannyW · 05/02/2017 15:58

Charlotte I try not to get too sucked into the issues of strangers, but I felt really upset on your behalf about this. As you say, it's YOUR wedding day and as many have said, the MUA should have been able to deflect your DSis and (much more important) focussed on making YOU feel special.

Well done for researching replacements, I hope you get one, and when you do, please do send DelphineCormier's excellent email.

Inertia · 05/02/2017 16:19

I'd go for the trials with different make up artists without your sister.

I would also tell your sister now that she'll need to do her own make up on the day, or team up with the other bridesmaids, as the trial showed that there wouldn't be time to do both on the day.

DandelionAndBedrock · 05/02/2017 16:30

How many bridesmaids are you having? Could you stretch to MUA + assistant, and use the assistant for all bridesmaids? You shouldn't have to, but it might make your day less stressful. It sounds like MUA realised she could get good photos of your sister and turned the trial into a publicity moment.

One of my school friends is a trained MUA. She did a wedding trial for DSis, at my flat. As soon as she got out her stuff, she shifted her personality and became totally fixed on DSis. It was my friend, and my home, but I might as well have not been there unless DSis asked my opinion - exactly as it should have been.

Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 16:33

There's four bridesmaids, my partner's niece is flower girl and just having a bit of glitter and lip gloss and my mother in law is paying to have hers done too, so there's quite a few of us.

OP posts:
DandelionAndBedrock · 05/02/2017 16:36

Ask about an assistant - will be cheaper than MUA x 2, and MUA can focus on you alone.

KatieScarlett · 05/02/2017 16:40

I would reply to the MUA, "Why? Is she paying you?"

haveacupoftea · 05/02/2017 16:44

Talk to your sister yourself, she's being a spoilt brat. And you def need a new MUA. But they cant just pretend your sister doesnt exist.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/02/2017 16:44

I'd be tempted to sack off the bridesmaid and keep the MUA.

^ this

There is no rule that she has to be a bridesmaid because she is your sister.

My DSis is getting married in the summer and she asked me to be bridesmaid. I declined as it would be too much faffingfor her and everyone dealing with my health and wheelchair.

Bluntness100 · 05/02/2017 16:48

Did she not do you one by one though? So when one person getting it done it should have been about them?

Original poster
Charlotte987 · 05/02/2017 16:52

She did us one by one, but in the same room. When I was having mine done, she was speaking to my sister over her shoulder. This was the thing I found most unprofessional of all.

OP posts:
Rachel0Greep · 05/02/2017 16:56

I would let the MUA know politely that I was not impressed, and actually left dissatisfied with the service. Drop her a line or ring her. You were the one paying.
Your sister seems to be the type who is very practised at getting the spotlight. I presume, in the wedding business, vendors / suppliers should be aware of how to deal with that. I would not use that make up artist, and I'm glad to see that you have others you can try.
I wouldn't bring your sister along either, next time around. Glad to see that others are going to try to get your sister to cop on to the fact that it's your day.
Best of luck.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/02/2017 16:59

YANBU. Its got nothing to do with attention seeking (well not on your part). This was in preparation for your big day. The attention should have been on you.

All that I'm ugly from your sister. Is just pure fishing for compliments.
If she was insecure. She'd be hiding In the corner. Not opening her mouth. Not wanting to be noticed.
The MUA was a complete arse hole. Her first focus should have been on you. Not pacifying someone with an already massive ego.

Goingtobeawesome · 05/02/2017 17:00

I'd sack the bridesmaid AND the make up artist.

Roussette · 05/02/2017 17:00

I must be exceedingly outspoken.

If she was doing your make up whilst ignoring you and talking to your sister. Or if your sister was hogging the MAU, I would be saying... "errrrr, whose wedding is this???" very pointedly.

I would've put it right with both of them at the time but failing that as it's too late, I would change MUA's and next time your sister takes over, just tell her!

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