To be scared I've fucked up at work?

[LilouLilou]

Moving to a new team in a large law firm (I'm a new grad). Had a call with a few members of the team a couple of days ago and the partner said I should pop round to his office to get some starter work from him; I did but he wasn't there. I really should have sent an email out (and stupidly told someone I did but was feeling a bit nervous so I didn't - stupid! I don't know what came over me).

Anyway someone followed up with me today about it and asked if I had met him yet/sent the email. I said again that I'd sent an email (Urgh don't know why)...

Anyway I finally sent one today saying it was great to meet him a few days ago and to let me know when was a good time to catch up. I got a fairly cold response back saying that because he didn't see me on Monday, he had given it to someone else but that he would keep an eye out for other things. I replied instantly saying that would be great.

He makes or breaks people's careers and I'm so scared of meeting him now - plus I'm sure the rest of the team will be aware of what has happened. I feel like I look like I'm not fussed about the work now - which isn't true and I'm kicking myself!!

I'm genuinely sorry and upset. I joined MN 15 years ago (in it's infancy) to help me through the birth of DS when I was 40. I've always seen it as a resource for Mums, I'm clearly wrong? I've asked for my previous posts to be removed. Sorry.

OP it will be fine. But yes, always always always own up to your mistakes. I had trainees, and was so much more impressed with those who were honest about not knowing something, or making mistakes, than with the ones who would think they were invincible (hardly ever the case). Learn from this week and move on. However, whatever you do, do NOT make it worse by telling another lie about things getting stuck in your outbox/draft folder etc. It is fundamentally dishonest. (Also, if I were working with you I would not believe you would have that many emails to write in your first week, nor be so busy, that you would not notice this 'stuck' email.)

This is a good example of what I think
I and the other solicitors have been talking about

www.legalcheek.com/2016/03/dla-piper-lawyer-struck-off-for-fabricating-court-documents/

This NQ was struck off. Not for making a fuck up but for trying to cover it up

Please do not lie about outboxes etc. Most law firms have extremely sophisticated IT systems for risk management purposes and drafts etc can be searched for. Also, just don't lie because it's not the right thing to do

I am a senior associate too and a fair amount of my role was supervisory. Most solicitors are naturally quite sceptical/inquisitive. If you came to me with some cock and bull story about drafts in your outbox, it would get my spidey senses tingling and I might speak to HR and ask them to get IT to check.

Separately, even if I didn't, I wouldn't be impressed that you hadn't checked whether an email had been received when you hadn't received a reply.

The senior associates tend to be the eyes and ears of the partners. They can sway a previously negative view....you need to be very keen and transparently honest with them

lapsedorienteerer if only moms posted on here about kid stuff wth would aibu be about

Please do not compound the lie by saying it was in your outbox. Just be super keen, totally honest and confident from now on.

lapsedorienteer

So being a mum and a recent grad are mutually exclusive now? Cool, I will tell the students that I teach who are also parents that they will not be graduating.

There has never been a requirement to have given birth to post. Not even when you joined years ago.

There are professional people on here who give up their time for free to post in places like legal. Some of them are not mums. They provide a massively valuable source of information and support to the people who ask for help. To try to insinuate that someone who is not a parent has nothing of value to offer the site is insulting quite frankly.

Also, newsflash- there will be plenty on gransnet who are not grans. Shock horror.

What Ellisandra said. Totally do that.

As to honesty, listen carefully to this advice from those of us in the legal field - Integrity is everything. That is what it is all about. You will make mistakes, but you must immediately confess and help fix them - and learn how to not make them again. That's how we get on in this industry.

You are in entirely the wrong field if you cannot do this. Sorry to be tough, but have hired (and fired) many young lawyers over the years.

Don't dwell on it too much OP. Presumably you've just changed seats on rotation during your training contract so you have another 4-6 months ahead of you in this department and working with these people. The important thing is that you now show that you are confident (even if inwardly you aren't!), eager to get stuck in, and diligent. Make sure you flag when you have capacity and don't be afraid to ask questions.

Remember that partners are people too. They were trainees and junior lawyers once too. They're there to learn from because they know their shit (generally).

Ghfst I agree, but you'd be surprised how many people I've seen who treat junior/support staff as if they were serfs who exist just to jump and do their bidding. I work at a different firm now and the culture is much nicer, but in very hierarchical places it was common for them to be very much looked down on as inferior. I remember being a junior and told that we weren't allowed to use a certain canteen, nor the nice loos on the same floor that we worked - we had to go down a level and use the ones that admin used which were not nearly as nice. Sounds utterly bonkers but some places are like that!

One of my trainees (not law) made a huge fuck up. Irritating but no big deal it happens to us all and no-one died.

What made my trainee stand out was that he took no responsibility for his error, didn't know how to formally report it, couldn't/wouldn't fill in the reporting form when I showed it to him, refused to go and speak to the clients, wouldn't come with me when I did so, didn't attend the after action review meeting.

This affected his end of post feedback ++.

Another error has happened this week - the trainee involved is clamouring to go and talk about what happened at several high level meetings. He has realized that owning the mistake is the way to gain respect. Although he did let me go and get yelled at by the client!

I haven't caught up on all posts yet, but yes you made a mistake. But we all do it. When I first qualified in my profession I made a big mistake. I admitted my mistake to the Director and she was glad that I was honest. It is a different field to you OP but I can remember the panic of being in a new profession and trying to make a good impression. Go in with your head held high and show them that you deserve to be there (also remember that the partner in question probably made a few mistakes in his career )

Lapse, I'm not a mother, but maybe I will be one day. I stumbled across the classics page a few years ago and was hooked. A few years later I felt brave enough to post, and although I don't have children, there are some bloody marvellous people on here with excellent advice, regardless of being a mother

I got a fairly cold response back saying that because he didn't see me on Monday, he had given it to someone else but that he would keep an eye out for other things. I replied instantly saying that would be great

Also, OP, I think you may be imagining the coldness. He will be busy and he asked you to pop by his office, not email him. You didn't catch each other. It's annoying, but he will have forgotten it by next week. Seriously.

So, have you not officially moved seats yet? Are you in the overlap between the seats, which is why you spoke on the phone and you haven't met the guy yet? Will he be your training principal?

As a side point, it's better if supervisors put any trainee tasks in writing, either in a memo or an email to avoid any doubt as to what they want the trainee to do. They could send the instructions and tell the trainee to pop by and get the file and clarify any uncertainties. Or leave the written instructions with their secretary. All I mean by this is that he doesn't sound perfect either and you shouldn't worry about him 'making or breaking' your career.

Are you a trainee? As a senior partner in a City firm, I'd suggest doing nothing. Whilst we value and respect the work done by trainees, unless there has been an issue affecting a client, we honestly have to much to do to worry about things like that. Once you move fully into your new role (I assume it is a seat change) you will have 6 months to prove your abilities. I expect that that partner will have forgotten all about it by now so nothing is to be gained by raising it and I'd avoid looking too needy.

My husband is a Partner in a Large Law Firm. Very large. They've seen it all pretty much. So they know you were lying. They've been through a pretty rigourous process picking out the right people. You know a major part of being a lawyer is personal integrity (although hands down I've met plenty of dicks) but they're not dishonest especially especially things like this I think do get remembered lawyers have excellent memories. You need to be on it really (back on your meds I think to help you) just on top of everything. If you make a mistake don't hide it. Be enthusiastic you need to be selling yourself internally. Are you in your first seat? Second seat? How well are you known in the firm already? Are you getting involved in events? Is there anything you could help the partner wirh? How about articles? Research? Just get be super on it. Don't let yourself down. You know you're capable you've got this far! Good luck OP. Keep wise.

Lapse - good on you for apologising (twice!) . That's a big thing to do :)

Let's face it, OP, it was hardly a FUBAR*

In the absence of "my dog ate my Uni assignment" excuse, "my email got stuck in my Outbox" is a damn good alternative.

*Fuck Up Beyond All Recognition

My husband is a Partner in a Large Law Firm. Very large. They've seen it all pretty much. So they know you were lying

If it was a major error that affected a big client, then yes. A trainee not going to collect some allocated work that was then reallocated? They seriously won't give a shit if they are a busy department. The partner will certainly not have briefed the whole team about the sent/unsent email. If he did, I would presume the rest of the busy team would think he was mad.

But yeah OP, never say you have done something that you haven't (write to the court, file documents, serve something). This time it doesn't matter much, but if that is how you deal with issues, you may find yourself in serious shit further down the line.

Second the 'stuck in my outbox' idea. Happens all the time to me. Good luck and look after yourself. xx

@lapsedorienteerer You made a mistake, like the OP, that's all. Mumsnet is a lot broader than its name implies, which is a relief, because Mum stuff is really tedious after a while. But please don't be scared off by the reaction you've had. Hopefully people will see that you've apologised and that will be that.

Stay and play

Forget the stuck in the outbox idea. In your career you don't lie. Allchattedout of course not briefed the whole team etc but no point hiding stuff is there? they've seen it all before! Hence just act with integrity and move on and start worrying about the right stuff and not this any more. But don't lie or hide.

Personal integrity? Blimey, my DB is a senior partner in a city law firm and he's a lying bastard, so it ain't done him any harm as they say.

Don't say 'stuck in your outbox' - a very transparent lie, particularly if the Partner has access to your email.

If challenged, "I am really sorry, I thought I'd replied."

No-one is going to think what actually happened, happened They will more than likely give you the benefit of the doubt...once. Make sure you never do it again.

No I really would not go with the stuck in the outbox excuse, for two reasons.
Firstly they will suspect you're lying. It's a hackneyed and well-worn excuse which is up there with 'my biggest flaw is that I am too much of a perfectionist'.
Secondly even if it was true, it would be entirely reasonable to expect you to ensure that the email had sent - i.e. by going into your sent items and when you didn't see it there, double checking your outbox.

Don't try and lie to cover up another lie. It will hurt your credibility.

Lovely post Lougle, and very true

Oh itll be fine, i've been a total idiot in work loads of times. Just dont lie again, thats very important, it is ok to admit to fucking up though.