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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour's extension

131 replies

SooSmith · 01/02/2017 17:21

So the neighbours want to build. Original plans no problem but now they want to do something else.

As it is on the party wall they have to have a survey. Have insisted on my own surveyor which I know they have to pay for. Delayed their work while they submit new plans and give me a copy.

No entrance up my side passage, and if they want to scaffold my side of the fence then they pay for the privilege. My garden fence stays intact.

No Sunday or bank holiday working.

I've just been callled a bitch by next door. Why? All I'm doing is protecting my property and insisting they work reasonable hours.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/02/2017 18:27

Never mind charging them, I just wouldn't allow it. There's no way my fence could come down as it'll have cat proof netting on it and my artificial grass would be ruined. Even if I'd been considering allowing it, the minute they called me a bitch I wouldn't be interested in being neighbourly.

IsItMeOr · 01/02/2017 18:30

What mambono5 said. Anybody calling somebody who they need to do them a favour a bitch really is unreasonable.

If your garden is your pride and joy, I can see why you would be concerned about any potential damage, and taking reasonable measures to protect it. I personally think that charging for the scaffolding and/or access is unreasonable.

We have had extensions built both sides, and it was eye-opening what these two different sets of builders thought was okay e.g. cutting back our plants without telling us, even though we were in - splattering our swing seat, patio and fence with mortar because they decided to build from their side, even though we had given permission for them to come into our garden - building over the top so that it looks awful on our side of the wall, even though they had permission to come into our garden.

So I think that you are wise to plan ahead if you love your garden - ours is definitely not our pride and joy!

marhav999 · 01/02/2017 18:33

I'm with you OP, Toadsforjustice and all those who advise you to protect your property. It would be very much in my nature to be accommodating but unfortunately experience has informed my nature to the contrary. One cannot rely on others to keep their side of the deal. Murphy's law.

expatinscotland · 01/02/2017 18:37

'If it does no harm to your property in the long term then you're just charging them because you can and that's not neighbourly. '

As people have pointed out, there's plenty of potential for harm to the garden. I wouldn't allow them to take the fence down at all, or scaffolding on my property at all. Or access through my property at all. Namely because I've seen how builders take the piss and completely trash other people's property and then the neighbour doesn't pay any compensation.

user1471545174 · 01/02/2017 18:41

There is already a bad atmosphere - caused by their abusive response to her reasonable requirements. She now needs to defend those reasonable requirements. It's nice when neighbours are besties but these don't sound like any great loss (voice of experience).

Scholes34 · 01/02/2017 18:49

Well good luck for when the builders leave. You've got to live next to these people. Looks like it's a lost cause now though. Have you spoken to them to express your concerns or just said what you won't allow them to do?

Spacecadet14 · 01/02/2017 18:51

I think the fact the neighbour has called you a bitch at this early stage is a clear sign that you should dig your heels in. What a way to go to talk you round! It's your home and your garden and you should only do what you're comfortable with and what the Party Wall Act dictates.

m0therofdragons · 01/02/2017 18:53

Glad my neighbour wasn't like this when we had scaffolding to fix the roof and it had to go in her garden Blush

Original poster
SooSmith · 01/02/2017 19:00

All I'm doing is protecting my property.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/02/2017 19:17

Oh, I agree, Soo. Again, have been burned by builders who fucked up my property doing work on someone else's garden.

Sara107 · 01/02/2017 19:21

Well, I can understand you don't want your place wrecked, but you also seem to be not very accommodating. Although not ok to be called a bitch. If you needed work done, for example an extension or repairs to your gable or roof could it be done without encroaching on their property? Because if you do ever need to ask for a return favour it might not be forthcoming.

Jayfee · 01/02/2017 19:22

as long as they reinstate, it sounds as though yabu

Lostwithinthehills · 01/02/2017 19:28

My neighbour had men in to replace some fence panels in their back garden. The first I knew about it was when I looked out of my window and saw the men standing in my garden, having removed the panel. It was just as well my dog was indoors as she would have escaped from my garden. I went out and spoke to the men, they retrospectively asked permission to be in my garden, which I gave. They told me they would have to dig around the post hole, I said okay but I twice specifically asked them to be careful of my plants. I had to go out and when I returned I discovered them standing on some plants, while digging into the roots of another, having hacked back a third. So based on my experience I agree you should do everything you can to protect what is yours.

Stinkymimi · 01/02/2017 19:46

If it's repairs, you are legally bound to give them access. If it's for an extension, you are not, but it might backfire on you that the finish your side won't be as good as you would probably like it to be.
I had scaffolding all down my side passage for neighbour's building work for nearly three months last summer. I refused to give them a key for the side gate as I didn't want the gate getting left open and my dog escaping onto the main road so they had to access the scaffold from their side. That was my compromise and they weren't happy with it - but it was a total pain in the arse overall and very "in our face" as there were many sunny days when the left hand side of our small garden was a no-go area due to falling debris. Also the lack of privacy when builders faces appear outside your bathroom window etc!
I spent a lot of time with steam pouring out of my ears but have really tried to keep things pleasant(ish) yet businesslike on the surface. However, I wouldn't be inclined to do it again, or if I did, it would be very much on my own terms and they would have to ask very nicely (which they didn't at all last time, just announced).
I think you are fair enough to stipulate what you want.... the asking for payment sounds a bit OTT though depends where you are as I'm sure there are places in London where that would be the norm (or at least a financial penalty for overrunning).
Your neighbour calling you a bitch shows she has lost her cool - building work has a habit of doing this to people. Be the bigger person, but if they are likely to take advantage, you have stand up for what's really important to you. Some neighbours and some builders are lovely - and other neighbours and other builders are very inconsiderate. But overall it's much better to have a half decent relationship with the people you live next door to - even if you don't really like them it's much better to keep it civil if you can.

Theknittinggorilla · 01/02/2017 20:25

Having suffered the effects of being nice and neighbourly you are definitely not being unreasonable. We had scaffolding in our garden for 18 weeks after agreeing to six with a weeks notice. Made a mess of the garden, one year disaster of a build, absolutely no consideration for us in regards to noise, Sunday and bank holiday working, access to our property, parking. I was on mat leave too with no escape from it all.

I have no issue at all with people wanting to do work on their houses and am very sympathetic and accommodating but If i was in the situation again I would do everything I could to protect my property. My neighbours gave me ten quid in an envelope to get our dust covered cars cleaned as compensation for a year of hell. You do right to protect yourself. It's in their best interest to be neighbourly to you, not the other way round.

Original poster
SooSmith · 02/02/2017 13:22

They won't be giving me a year of hell. They've been told that they have to submit revised plans. Which will be rejected because I know a councilor.

End of.

OP posts:
wifework · 02/02/2017 13:25

Because you know a councillor? Not for any other reason? You do sound obstructive. Hope you never want to do anything on your own house...

laureywilliams · 02/02/2017 13:38

FrancisCrawford
Why wouldn't you want to make life a bit easier for people?

I'd just prefer to make life easier for me and dc and enjoy garden safely especially over the summer.

If neighbours want an extension (which sounds reasonable) then they need to accept the cost and inconvenience should be theirs. Not their neighbours.

The scaffolding charge initially seemed punitive but at least it will encourage a quick completion. Otherwise the scaffolding may well be longer than necessary.

Perfectlypurple · 02/02/2017 13:43

Your last post makes you sound awful. You may need someone to be neighbourly one day.

SkyeCoo · 02/02/2017 13:47

which will be rejected because I know a councilor

I could see your point up until that statement. Now I see your neighbour's point. I hope your councillor acquaintance isn't as lacking in integrity as you seem to be.

Timeforteaplease · 02/02/2017 13:48

Anybody who has lived next to this type of work knows how miserable it is;
The noise - work starting at 7.30 going through to 5 every day and Saturday mornings. Radios on full blast all day.
The dirt.
The lack of privacy - not being able to use your own garden without being watched by builders on scaffolding or listening to their music.
The smoke from the fires that they start to burn waste (cheaper than landfill). Not supposed to but they all do it.
Parking outside your house and the drive being blocked all the time.

It's miserable. I do not blame the Op. But you are being optimistic if you think knowing one councillor will make any difference.

SenseiWoo · 02/02/2017 13:50

I would do a lot for the neighbours on one side. Hell would freeze over before I made the slightest accommodation for the landlord on the other side. So I do think a lot depends on what the neighbour is like.

And when we were the ones asking for the favour we made in clear in our request that everything on the neighbour's side would be restored to its previous condition, and got the builder to speak to them.

So I do understand your position, OP. Since you've still got to live next to them, though, I would be less intransigent and more canny.

Aridane · 02/02/2017 13:52

ErmConfused

empirerecordsrocked · 02/02/2017 14:08

I was kind of on your op until you mentioned the councillor bit op.

Assuming the councillor likes what they do they'd be pretty stupid to risk their job.

It's very unusual for terrace not to have right if access at the back down a shared passage - do the deeds clearly state its yours and not shared.

Frazzeledandfuckedoff · 02/02/2017 14:08

It is common practice to issue a charge to neighbors putting scaffolding on your garden- not to make money but ensure that they get completed asap. Builders etc tend to be more motivated if there is a charge.
I was with you op until your last post Hmm

I've just recently finished work- two months - made the builders stop at 6 - no weekends they even downed tools at neighbors toddler nap time. I bought both neighbors wine & arranged to get their windows cleaned when completed.

They act like we owe them a debt of gratitude. They're not very nice to us at all.
The name calling suggests it won't end well.