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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I carry on with this guy?

64 replies

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:28

Been dating a month. I like him and things are going well but he talks about sex all. the. time. I'm getting a bit bored of it.

We have good chemistry and he's really lovely. I have a habit of looking for issues so I don't know if that's what I'm doing now.

AIBU to consider ending things?

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 31/01/2017 18:28

Can you ask him not to ?

Ilovecaindingle · 31/01/2017 18:28

Does he expect sex every time you see him?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 31/01/2017 18:30

Like innuendo type jokes or a literal discussion about it every time?

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:30

Yeah he does expect it. And don't get me wrong I enjoy it but not every time. There's still so much getting to know each other to be done and it feels like we've already settled in to the constantly shagging stage which I prefer to come once there's a bit more of a relationship built up.

OP posts:
user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:31

Both Zig. He either talks about the sex we've had or sex we're going to have. Then when we're not talking about our sex he's making innuendo.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 31/01/2017 18:32

Ugh

BookHunter · 31/01/2017 18:33

Bin him!

BreatheDeep · 31/01/2017 18:35

Does he talk about anything else?!

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:35

He says it's what people do when they first start dating. I'm fairly new to the dating thing but I'm pretty sure it isn't?

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 31/01/2017 18:36

I wouldn't

Mittensonastring · 31/01/2017 18:36

Sounds tedious.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2017 18:36

Nope.

SenoritaViva · 31/01/2017 18:36

I mean I wouldn't continue!

Mittensonastring · 31/01/2017 18:37

Are you exceptionally young or naive or both?

mistressWiseGuy · 31/01/2017 18:37

Certainly wasn't like that when I started dating my dp. That was seven years ago though. I don't think it's a good sign, especially if you're already feeling pressure to have sex that you don't enjoy.

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:37

And I hate to sound awful but he keeps making references to how big 'it' is. It's average and thats fine. More than fine. But don't brag about how big it is. Am I being a bitch?

OP posts:
user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:38

I'm 27 and not naive. Just inexperienced in this online dating business.

OP posts:
StillMaidOfStars · 31/01/2017 18:38

I think we're opposites, OP. I feel the first month should be constant shagging, especially if there's no apparent social/ethical/religious barrier to doing it in the first place.

Having said that, my husband and I waited for a while before we had sex, despite knowing it was serious (long time friends) and being wildly attracted to each other. Not sure why Grin

It seems like he has a different approach, maybe more like the first throes of passion to enjoy, and that's not going to be compatible with your need for slower intimacy?

Mittensonastring · 31/01/2017 18:39

By the way no one should ever have sex they don't want or like regardless if a casual hook up or a long term relationship.

OhhBetty · 31/01/2017 18:39

Ugh he sounds awful. Get him sacked.....NEXT!!

AnyFucker · 31/01/2017 18:39

I would put him right on the size aspect for a start

He sounds like a boring neanderthal. I bet he's a porn hound too

Why are you having sex you don't want, BTW ?

HattiesBackpack · 31/01/2017 18:40

Honestly I think if this is a problem (and tbf it would have put me right off too!) then you can either stop seeing him, or have a chat and explain how you feel and go from there.

MyPatronusIsABadger · 31/01/2017 18:41

'It's what people do' annoys me, if you've told him you don't like it then he should stop if he wants to be with you. It's not on, even if you do want to continue its weird that he's telling you he's 'big', who's he trying to convince? Why does he need his ego massaged?

StillMaidOfStars · 31/01/2017 18:41

Ah, thread moved on while I was typing.

You met online, a month ago and you're not enjoying sex with him every time. Sack him. He's wants a casual shagfest?

And ugh to referencing the size of his dick.

girlelephant · 31/01/2017 18:43

Ditch him! Sounds sleazy & after sex as opposed to a relationship

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