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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I carry on with this guy?

64 replies

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 18:28

Been dating a month. I like him and things are going well but he talks about sex all. the. time. I'm getting a bit bored of it.

We have good chemistry and he's really lovely. I have a habit of looking for issues so I don't know if that's what I'm doing now.

AIBU to consider ending things?

OP posts:

EatSpamAmandaLamb · 31/01/2017 20:01

TheNaze93
Only if both parties want it to be.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2017 20:02

Naze...you have said some right dodgy shit today

SingingInTheRainstorm · 31/01/2017 20:06

It's entirely up to you and whether you can cope with such behaviour long term. If he has a high sex drive he'll probably still expect it if you're ill, as little is a turn off, plus they have the urges.
Not my cup of tea, something you need to think about with either a final warning style conversation or just get rid.
You'll be doing it in the toilets at a supermarket next funny, not funny.

dollydaydream114 · 31/01/2017 20:06

You should be non stop at the start

There's a difference between being at it like rabbits because you really fancy each other, and being at it like rabbits because one person in the relationship has no other interests.

All my relationships have featured a lot of sex at the start - but they've featured other things too. From what the OP says, this guy literally never talks about anything else, has no other interests, doesn't relate to her in any other way and constantly boasts about the size of his (actually average) dick. He sounds like a boring twat to me.

mistermagpie · 31/01/2017 20:07

God he sounds dull. And self involved. This 'stage' can sometimes be a shag-fest which is great, but in a good relationship it's also the bit where you sit up all night talking and finding out about each other as well (in my book anyway). He just wants to talk about the size of his penis and shag... not really much of a catch is he?

Get rid, there are plenty of nice normal men who aren't put off by somebody with children.

icelollycraving · 31/01/2017 20:11

Get rid. You aren't compatible. You sound nice,he sounds like an arse.
If not the next time he says about having a big dick,could I suggest you put him right. You are a big dick, you don't have one.

Meluamelua · 31/01/2017 20:12

Agree with af and ils - bin!!

Iamastonished · 31/01/2017 20:13

He sounds gross, and very boring.

Dump him.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 31/01/2017 20:17

The constantly shagging stage is great, but it's merely a term. There should be something else happening between the shags

Willow2016 · 31/01/2017 20:31

Nahh get rid PDQ
Its all about him
"Watch out here come X and he has a big knob" (be eternally greatful I am with YOU)
"I need so much sex I need to wank every day as well as have sex with you (YOU arent giving me enough sex btw)
"I am a boring shit with nothing intelligent to say except talk about how much sex I want" (cos I am obviously SUCH a stud muffin)
"I am not interested in YOU I am interested in ME and my wants" (whats your problem with that?)

You can do so much better, (and bigger) from Love Honey

FuckTheJournos · 31/01/2017 20:59

When it is so fresh and new like it should be after just a month I don't think that sex should be such a big subject and it'd turn me off straight away that he was making it the be all and end all.

At this point I'd expect to still be getting wooed and wined and dined ... Best behaviour and romance with the sex being a pleasant after thought.

Only in a few more months time when I felt like I knew the person a bit and had built up a connection would I be up for sex every time we met etc.

It doesn't sound like he wants a long lasting relationship to me - more like a fuckbuddy or a brief fling. Sorry if that sounds harsh - but he doesn't seem to be putting the effort in.

Original poster

user1485102013 · 31/01/2017 21:36

Fuck I have the exact same expectations as you mentioned. I think we should still be in the wining and dining stage but he's happy (surprisingly) for me to just go round to his.

I think I'm going to end it. I thought I liked him but I think I just like the idea of being with someone again for the first time in years rather than specifically being with him if that makes sense.

OP posts:

MsVestibule · 31/01/2017 22:12

Lordy, he sounds awful:

he talks about sex constantly
he isn't interested in your life
you don't go out anywhere together, he just wants you to go round to his for a shag

Under these circumstances, I would just not bother contacting him again or end it by text. It's a very brief relationship and there is nothing to be gained by finishing with him in person - what reason could you give? 'You're quite boring and actually, your penis is fairly average'? Tempting...

Ginkypig · 31/01/2017 23:05

I'm glad talking about it has helped you to see that he's not the one for you OR ANYONE

You've dipped your toe into dating now and you won't let somone drag you along with their narcasis just because they are willing to date you.

Oh and by the way having a child does not mean settling for an arsehole, loads of nice guys wouldn't have an issue with dating a woman with a child because why would they.

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