Now that I have accepted (kind of) that I have to divorce dh

[scaredoffallout]

I can't remember any of the reasons (and there are lots) that I want to.

I feel that I would be being unreasonable and unnecessary hurtful to all involved, and that if only I did x, y or z, our relationship would be magically fixed.

Is it normal to feel like this ?

Yes.

Make a list of possible reasons and see if any of them seem right?