To ask about affairs

[Unicorn1981]

I have been watching Apple Tree Yard. It's brilliant and I'm hooked but it's really raised the subject of affairs in relationships in my mind. I just can't understand the thrill of it. Why would you go to such lengths to cheat? What is the pull? Not judging just really interested.

Some people I think just have no self control & are liars

It's like when people say they love there partner yet shagged someone else well no one that loves somebody is shagging behind there back

Who knows what the thrill is? Maybe cheats like my ex get turned on knowing the hurt they will cause the partner?

They go to such lengths to cheat because they have no self control

I love you but I fucked someone else is a load of bullshit, you wouldn't of put your cock in the first vagina that come along if that was true.

What 'lengths'? You can probably guess, I haven't seen the programme.
My experience of affairs suggests people don't 'go to lengths', they have sex with the randoms that are available. My mother used to tell me that 'proximity' is the most likely thing to lead to an affair.

I'm currently reading the book. I'll let you know.

By lengths I mean lying to meet them. A second phone so they can't track the texts. Getting husband away for the night so they can go to a hotel. And in the programme they have sex in a lot of cold dark alleyways that don't have cameras (cctv). It's all the lying I couldn't take. That would kill me.

I want to read the book after. It was on my (very long) to read list anyway. Have you read Second Life by S J Watson? That features a sordid affair. In my opinion the person you are cheating with usually turns out to betray you in the end too. My sil's husband cheated on his wife with her then cheated on her once they were married. I mean how can you really trust someone who lies to others to be with you. How can you know they're 'worth' it. Maybe it's because I love my dp so much I couldn't do it but even if I was thinking of it I'd know it was time to split up rather than betray him.