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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU... MIL and Finger Food

92 replies

LouBlue1507 · 28/01/2017 19:29

Hi all!

I know, it's another MIL one! But I genuinely don't think I'm doing anything wrong!

Yesterday I sent MIL some lovely pictures of DD eating foods! I'm so proud at how well she's doing! She's having 3 meals a day and loving it.

Anyway she's only just replied today saying how lovely but why am I not blending her food? I said I don't think there's a need as she's managing really well and chewing. She said I was being very naive and putting baby at risk for no reason! I got a bit annoyed and said well actually chewing is good for her and help with language development , she hasn't replied.

AIBU? Should I really be blending all of DDs food?

I really don't see the problem as she's eating well! DD is having what we're having and eating as a family. Some examples of what she's had so far;

Weetabix
Risk
Toast
Ham sandwich
Pasta broccoli cheese
Pasta and meat balls
Lots of different fruits
Carrot sticks
Peas
Cauliflower
Mash

OP posts:

BearGryllsHasaBigRope · 28/01/2017 22:32

Fully grown... to blame.

Figure17a · 28/01/2017 22:42

Why of course allow? I work in an infant school and I know that language development in 4yos is way far delayed now than it was ten years ago. No real sign that Blw is improving anything

Every generation of mothers thinks their own mother knows nothing/got it all wrong, then they become grandmothers...

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 28/01/2017 22:50

I think both you and your dd are doing great by the sounds of it! Grandparents often find themselves a bit out of touch with the latest advice and worry for (to us) no reason. She didn't exactly phrase it very kindly or delicately but she probably didn't mean any harm. I'm a mum of four and I can remember giving my now 13 year old dd rusk mushed up with bm following advice from my hv and my mother having a fit!

The only thing I would say and I'm sure you already know this but keep an eye on the salt content.

Otherwise keep up the good work, blw is fab! X

OwlinaTree · 28/01/2017 23:26

I'm sure you can give mashed up foods if you are blw. The point is that they feed themselves not that nothing is soft surely?

Changednamesorry · 28/01/2017 23:33

Loads of our parenrs' generation are freaked out by BLW. It's ok.

My grandma bottle fed my dad because at the time (60s) working class mothers got sold a lie that posh people gave formula because it was better quality. Times change.

coconutpie · 28/01/2017 23:36

3 meals a day at 6 months is way too much. It should be 1 meal for the next month or two and milk should be their main source of nutrition until 12 months.

Also, skip the rusks - they are full of sugar. I wouldn't give a 6 month old ham either - it's way too salty. Their kidneys can't cope with salt at that age.

and your MIL is incorrect - you do not need to purée food at 6 months old.

coconutpie · 28/01/2017 23:38

Hope you're getting support and treatment for your PND, by the way - ie counselling or medication, etc

Clankboing · 29/01/2017 00:07

How old are these mother in laws? I'm late 40s and gave my eldest finger foods from day 1 20 years ago. It wasn't called baby led weaning but it was meant as that. They must be much older than me or missed a trick. Baby led weaning is nothing new, just the phrase is.

Rixera · 29/01/2017 00:12

My DD followed BLW too. Started at 5 months with health visitors support as DD would literally grab food from your hands and start chewing, but then her teeth did come through early (2 months...)

She ate everything. Stop worrying about sugar, it's not the devil, she'll be fine. Rusks, curry, prawns, fruit, vegetables, gorgonzola... She still is a fantastic eater.

UterusUterusGhali · 29/01/2017 00:36

Ignore her.

I'd baulk at the ham sarnies but I made my own salt-free rolls and froze them for DC until they were at least 1.
Ham is not the best either, but that's my opinion and all that matters is yours.

You're doing fab. :)

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 29/01/2017 01:04

My DCs took to weaning quickly. They both showed they were ready at 5.5 months by fussing at dinner time, making chewing motions and trying reach our dinner. It didn't take long to get to 3 meals as they generally ate as we were eating.

With DS1 I made some attempt at pissing about with home made purees and low salt. By DS2, I'd worked out that portion control took considerable care of salt content, didn't have time to muck about with a food blender and was just grateful that his face didn't swell up or break out in hives when he tried a new food

BLW was brilliant. Minimal use of spoons and their catapulting effects, the mess was much more localised in the drop-it zone.

My mum thought I was bonkers and was terrified about choking. By the time they were 1 she was impressed at what they could eat. I'll always remember the corn on the cob... she thought there was no way they could manage that at around 18m but it was devoured in a few minutes.

toomuchtooold · 29/01/2017 06:45

Why do people comment on stuff like this though? I always wonder. If someone, any friend or family member sent me a picture of their kid doing something I considered dangerous, before I ever got back to them to question it I'd at least have a quick Google to see if it's A Thing. And even then, I'd only say something if I was really concerned. Because it's so rude! Someone sends you a picture of their child, your grandchild, eating - I mean, it didn't happen by accident, you know the baby's mum has deliberately prepared that food for the baby. And then you go and question the exact thing they are showing you.

Hobbitch · 29/01/2017 06:52

We did BLW with my son and posted a photo of him with his first cheese sandwich on Facebook. He was over 6 months old. My MIL promptly phoned my husband to say our son could choke on the bread and we should only give him toast .

BLW was a success for us and at two our son is a great eater. Keep doing what you're doing!

Blu · 29/01/2017 09:12

MIL looks at photo and says "oooh, baby might choke "
MN-ers look at post and say "ooh, don't give ham"

butterfly990 · 29/01/2017 11:16

Have a look at this video. It explains the difference between gagging and choking. 6 months is the natural time for children to instinctively put things into their mouths.

www.minimunchclub.com/baby-lead-weaning-and-gagging/

Original poster

LouBlue1507 · 29/01/2017 11:18

Thanks everyone I'm just annoyed that she thinks it's ok to tell me that I'm putting my baby at risk. It didn't come across as a friendly warning! MIL is in her 40s with her own DD (11 years) so I don't think it's a generation thing, I swear sometimes she just looks for an excuse to stick her ore in!

OP posts:

Ohdearducks · 29/01/2017 11:19

I have experience, my MIL threatened me with the police if my baby chokes. I don't see or speak to her much as a result.

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