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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU... MIL and Finger Food

92 replies

LouBlue1507 · 28/01/2017 19:29

Hi all!

I know, it's another MIL one! But I genuinely don't think I'm doing anything wrong!

Yesterday I sent MIL some lovely pictures of DD eating foods! I'm so proud at how well she's doing! She's having 3 meals a day and loving it.

Anyway she's only just replied today saying how lovely but why am I not blending her food? I said I don't think there's a need as she's managing really well and chewing. She said I was being very naive and putting baby at risk for no reason! I got a bit annoyed and said well actually chewing is good for her and help with language development Blush, she hasn't replied.

AIBU? Should I really be blending all of DDs food?

I really don't see the problem as she's eating well! DD is having what we're having and eating as a family. Some examples of what she's had so far;

Weetabix
Risk
Toast
Ham sandwich
Pasta broccoli cheese
Pasta and meat balls
Lots of different fruits
Carrot sticks
Peas
Cauliflower
Mash

OP posts:
n0ne · 28/01/2017 19:46

Why shouldn't a 6mo have a ham sandwich?

BertrandRussell · 28/01/2017 19:48

Because a 6 month old baby should just be starting on solid food.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 28/01/2017 19:50

I've had the same conversation with my mil however I'm lucky because she gets it. DS (7months) just doesnt seem to like puree so we've had no choice but to do the blw thing. Judging by how he moves his tongue and jaw I'd say it's the mouth feel of actual food he's interested in. Mil is now completely on board and gives him alsorts now.

BingBongBingBong · 28/01/2017 19:51

My mum was shocked when my DS had finger foods at just after 6 months (I did a mix of purée and finger food) because when we were babies you blended the food until they were almost a year - we didn't get finger foods just purees which gradually got lumpier! So for my mum it was just a shock at how different the guidelines are now and I'm sure it's the same for your MIL. Just tell her the guidelines are that finger foods are fine and you're watching your DD closely as she eats. My mum had to leave the room when DS had his lunch until she got used to the finger foods, because it's just the opposite to what was deemed safe when she had babies she was very anxious.

MrsHathaway · 28/01/2017 19:52

The rusks aren't ideal because of the added sugar; the ham isn't ideal because of the salt content. Everything else is just food.

I think if you say "she's managing really well and chewing" it sounds like you're making all the decisions whereas if you can say "yes this is how the HVs recommend you wean nowadays - it's meant to help with speech and language development and avoid fussiness etc etc" then you can turn it into a conversation about isn't it funny how advice changes and aren't modern nappies great and you're really looking forward to being able to give baby

Blu · 28/01/2017 19:54

Just explain Baby Led Weaning, and send her some links, so that she can see hat it is an actual method and theory, and not just you neglecting to mash and blend.

Ask her if she has any ideas of foods that your dd might like and might be suitable.

EdenX · 28/01/2017 19:55

Mine were both eating finger foods from 5 months and managed sandwiches at 6 months. You're doing fine.

MusicToMyEars800 · 28/01/2017 19:56

nothing wrong with a healthy balanced diet and finger foods at 6months old, I think it is great that your DD is eating a good variety of foods at that age and it sounds like you are doing a top job OP Smile

Serialweightwatcher · 28/01/2017 19:58

I used to blend dinners but give bits of toast etc at 6 months - not sure with bits of this and that they may get enough vitamins and be able to digest it all properly but she could have been a bit more polite and just said could you blend a dinner to make sure she gets enough alongside the other chewable items

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2017 19:58

My dd wouldn't eat lumps until she was 2.5. I wish I'd known more about baby led weaning. You're doing fine.

ollieplimsoles · 28/01/2017 19:58

My mil couldn't believe we would dare give my dd squares of toast with butter at 6 months, she was convinced we were trying to choke her to death.

Blw is the best thing we did for dd, she picks through what she wants, throws the rest and we can eat our meal while she gets on with things- perfect!

Just make sure you stick to the 1.5g rule op- before 1 year old they are only supposed to have 1g of salt a day (after a year it goes to 2g). If anything has 1.5g or higher of salt per 100g- then babies should have only a tiny amount or none at all. I'm sure you knew that but that's what we told my mil

RueDeWakening · 28/01/2017 20:00

Ask her what her DS (and any other children) were eating at 6 months. I bet she started weaning earlier and had to purée because they didn't have the hand eye coordination that they have by 6m...

fabulous01 · 28/01/2017 20:02

I feel for you. I sent my mil a picture of baby with dummy in mouth. I got a horrid response back about how disappointed she was. We had twin babies. No sleep as bloke was at work 4 days later, no family around etc etc. I literally was at end of tether as both had colic. One screamed constantly at night the other puked! I stopped sending pictures and kept them bland. I did tell her how bad she made me feel and her attitude on lots of things have led to a stall in relationship
So... getting to point. It started with a similar picture. Maybe explain health visitor said and trust your own instincts. You are the mummy and the sooner she realises that the better

fabulous01 · 28/01/2017 20:05

And health visitor told us that finger food was good as it actually helps them develop choking measures that help

Trainspotting1984 · 28/01/2017 20:08

Tell her it's ok because your baby is older than hers were when she weaned.

3/4 months need purée but not at 6 months

I noticed most people agreed with this once it was spelt out. That said I was lucky as mum and MIL very supportive of BLW

mistermagpie · 28/01/2017 20:11

My MIL was a bit the same, she couldn't grasp how BLE worked and was astonished that I was giving DS 'proper' food at that sort of age. Even now, he's 18 months and she still give him fruit in those weird net bag things they can suck rather than just giving him the fruit.

It's a generational thing, back when she was raising kids the weaned earlier so everything had to be puréed. Now people know better.

user1485442361 · 28/01/2017 20:12

My son never had any blended food. Babies do not need them. YANBU. Finger food is much better as they learn hand to eye co ordination and can eat as much or as little as they want.

Something about a baby having food stuffed in its mouth with a spoon makes me cringe.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 28/01/2017 20:14

Don't give her Risk-those little pieces are a bit crunchy. Grin

Anothermoomin · 28/01/2017 20:15

She is just reacting in the way she was taught. Explain, have a conversation not a row.

Pinkheart5915 · 28/01/2017 20:17

I have never given ds blended food or purée, he was given proper food straight away and I won't be giving dd purée or blended food when we start weaning next month.
No need to puree/blend imo

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/01/2017 20:21

I was eating Christmas cake & crackers with pate on at 6 months. My mum just let me get on with it.

ArriettyClock1 · 28/01/2017 20:24

My mum baulks at my nephew who at 7 months is feeding himself and his parents are firmly in the blw camp.

He has not had a single purée since he went onto solids at 6 months.

I think it's fine, but can understand for the older generation it seems quite radical.

dottydee3 · 28/01/2017 20:24

Your MIL is out of date: you are fab

Cheby · 28/01/2017 20:28

There's nothing wrong with a ham sandwich; baby is starting on solid food, it's solid food. Job done.

Only thing I'd watch out for is the salt content, but I'm asssuming a 6 month old didn't wallop her way through two rounds of bread and a small amount is fine.

We did BLW, DD just ate what we ate from just shy of 6 months. I did a lot of slow cooked stuff because it makes meat really tender and it was easy to throw in and turn on in the morning and have dinner done for when DH got home from work.

Otherwise DD ate if she was awake when we ate, and she ate what we ate as well. I just made sure I cooked with low/no salt stock and monitored her salt intake.

Keep doing what you're doing OP. Sounds grand.

Stuffedshirt · 28/01/2017 20:32

Your MIL is living in the far and distant past. We know now that weaning is about getting children to eat proper food and the slop they were given in the past was a total waste of time.

Be confident in your abilities as a mother, explain to your MIL how things have changed and that you're following evidence based information from your HV.

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