Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask if you've unfriended people because of politics?

190 replies

IceGreenTea · 28/01/2017 19:03

For example, you have friends who strongly support a leader you cannot stand?

Do you think, if they think what he's doing is ok, then they're not the kind of people you think they are.

OP posts:
Screwinthetuna · 29/01/2017 08:33

No, there is more to life than politics. Unless they're posting something like racist pictures/memes/jokes all the time, I just let it go

HubbleBubbles · 29/01/2017 09:02

I "unfollow" for racism /homophobia but voting for Trump / Brexit is a valid democratic choice, not an issue as far as I'm concerned - However, I don't have any close friends who would have voted that way..and I scroll past ALL political stuff on FB anyway - if I want politics I go on a news site.

DrasticAction · 29/01/2017 09:06

No. Firstly luckily I don't know anyone with extreme views, ie far left or far right. I have never been so aware of people de friending people etc not talking to them due to politics. I find this very action flies in the face of liberal values, and is divisive and tribalist. I think it's very dangerous to align yourself with any side that makes you feel more worthy than someone else and better.

notquiteruralbliss · 29/01/2017 09:16

Most of my FB friends are friends IRL and I don't have friends whose political views I find repugnant. Other FB friends are acquaintances I met through a sport. They often post little Englander type garbage but they're not my actual friends so I don't care.

Thefitfatty · 29/01/2017 09:21

Yes. Not because they disagree with me, but because they were voicing a lot of racism, hatred and homophobia and I don't want to associate myself with that.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 29/01/2017 09:22

Nope, but done it over racism and a lot of graphic pro life post.

puglife15 · 29/01/2017 09:40

I don't know what this says about me, but no one I think of as a friend is a Brexit or Trump supporter, and I don't think any are Conservative voters or right of centre. Some of DH's family probably voted for Cameron but you can't choose your family, can you.

I'd struggle to be friends with anyone who actively supported this government tbh. They'd either have to be selfish, xenophobic or thick, and those aren't qualities I'm very tolerant of.

60sname · 29/01/2017 09:47

I am agog at the number of people on here who believe all their friends vote the same way as them!

puglife15 · 29/01/2017 09:48

Smiffle I think there's a pretty big difference between learning to tolerate and trying understand people with different views in society, and being their friend on Facebook...

And yes I absolutely would unfriend someone for their religious beliefs. If for example they became a member of Westboro Baptist Church, or any extremist form of religion preaching hate.

And I might not unfriend someone for their sexual preference but I absolutely would for their opinion on others' sexual preferences if they were hateful.

Thefitfatty · 29/01/2017 09:50

Actually, I suppose I did delete one friend over "politics". She is from Texas and very pro-gun and always posting things about how guns "save lives". I posted something anti-gun the day after Sandy Hook and she went off at me about how I'm not American and I don't "get it"....Yeah...delete. I can't deal with that level of stupidity.

Violetcharlotte · 29/01/2017 09:51

I have. I defriended a few after the EU referendum. I defriend anyone who posts anything derogatory about women and all ukip supporters are gone. These weren't real friends anyway, just people I knew from school, ex colleagues, etc

ShotsFired · 29/01/2017 09:51

This thread has a very odd theme of "I am against racism/sexism/-ism and I don't care!" as if that makes people somehow different to the majority?

I think most sane people agree/know that -isms are pretty shitty ways to behave, but making a big declaration that they are a "red line", as if that makes you a lone voice, is a funny thing to read.

Confused
NavyandWhite · 29/01/2017 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

60sname · 29/01/2017 09:59

No indeed Navy that was more in response to some of the later posts on UK politics

NavyandWhite · 29/01/2017 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smithy1234 · 29/01/2017 10:02

I unfollowed one FB friend over political posts... I agree with her point of view, but she posts endlessly about politics. Mainly reposts of the same fact from different sources. I just got tired scrolling through her posts to find anything else. We were not very close in real life, so I didn't feel bad about it

puglife15 · 29/01/2017 10:06

60sname why are you agog?

I think if you live in certain areas of the country and hang out with people from a similar demographic to you, and gravitate towards people with similar values, chances are they'll vote the same way, no?

I suppose if you live in middle England and don't really talk about politics with your friends you might not know, but I'm very confident I know where on the political compass the vast majority of my friendship circle and family sit. They are divided however between the pro and anti Corbyn camps ;)

IamWendy · 29/01/2017 10:06

I blocked a friend due to posting homophobic stuff. I usually let a lot of crap wash over me, but he was taking it down the 'God hates fags' route so...easy decision really.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel · 29/01/2017 10:09

I was considering deleting someone I worked with for her very pro ukip posts. She then left the job and started selling Juice Plus crap (along with her new job - someone she worked with got her onto it). I then deleted her. A month or so later she sent me a friend request. I ignored.

Smiffle · 29/01/2017 10:15

What about politicians who believe homosexuality is a sin or curable sickness? What about politicians who seek to ban both abortion and easy access to contraception?

And the point I was trying to make was that views like this aren't always politically motivated; so would you remove from you life someone who held abhorrent views because of religious rather than political beliefs?

Eg, an Orthodox Jew who would not sit next to you on a plane because you're a woman? Friend or unfriend?

A Christian who would not allow same sex partners to stay under their roof? Friend or unfriend?

A Muslim who believed your gay son should be punished? Friend or unfriend?

A Catholic who would deny your daughter an abortion? Friend or unfriend?

So puglife if I understand you correctly, you would defriend all of the above on Facebook but you see that differently to trying to tolerate and live with diverse views in real life?

I'm intrigued by that. To me, it sounds like closet online bigotry is ok; you secretly hate, deffriend and despise the opinions of people on Facebook.

What do you do when the Venn diagram overlaps and there are real-life and Facebook friends whose opinions you abhor?

60sname · 29/01/2017 10:18

Puglife my point was more that if you have x hundred Facebook friends it is very unlikely they will all feel the same way as you. My Facebook friends are broadly left-leaning so similar to me - but by no means exclusively - nor would I need them to be

If someone was constantly posting more extreme views from either end of the spectrum I would unfollow

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 29/01/2017 10:28

A friend voted ukip and thinks Trump is A OK

I wouldnt stop being friends with her, but then we never talk about politics

If we did then we may have problems

Scaffleen · 29/01/2017 10:51

I'm friends with someone who I consider to be an extreme leftie. Yet they voted for brexit and support Trump. I find it so intriguing which is why I'm still friends with them. It's a brilliant example of how the political spectrum is not linear but circular. How the extreme left is actually quite similar to the extreme right and they meet with anarchism and libertarianism. It's really interesting and I'm desperate to get my head around it!

ARumWithAView · 29/01/2017 11:57

And the point I was trying to make was that views like this aren't always politically motivated; so would you remove from you life someone who held abhorrent views because of religious rather than political beliefs?

Religious rather than political? You're drawing a false distinction. What we're seeing in the US is religious belief given power to form legislation; to directly affect the lives (materially, emotionally) of people who don't share the same religious convictions, but will be forced to exist within its framework (ie women losing access to abortion).

And you seem to imagine you're painting liberals into a corner by assuming that we'll assert strong rejection of certain 'political' positions (to the extent of ending friendships) but suddenly fall silent when you relabel these 'religious', because we're too terribly sensitive about that and therefore we're hypocrites.

Speaking for myself, I don't give a crap whether you label your views political or religious: if they're hateful towards a group of people whose lives have no impact on your own; if you're seeking to impose a universal code of behaviour based on your own supernatural beliefs, regardless of whether people affected share them; if you consider me or my family a lesser form of humanity - then, no, I do not respect your views. If you broadcast them, I'll disagree. If you try to legislate them, I'll protest. I don't care which millennia-old book is telling you to act this way.

If you can't sit next to me on a plane, then you can move. No, we're not friends. We were never friends, if I'm something profane, lesser or provocative because I have ovaries.

If you believe my gay son should be punished, then, no, we're not friends. What the fuck does that tell my son? 'This person thinks you should be stoned to death, but apart from that she's super nice and we're on the PTA together, and I'm a really tolerant person, so I've kept her in my life'.

A person who chooses not to have an abortion is free to do that. She is not free to make my daughter bear, and then raise or relinquish, a child she emphatically does not want. A person who refuses to acknowledge, or expresses revulsion for, same-sex relationships is not my friend. See above. 'Hey, Imaginary Gay Son: Gladys doesn't wish you dead, but she can't stand the sight of you, but I'm a lovely tolerant person who welcomes all mindsets, so she's come to play Scrabble'.

I don't go around asking people their beliefs, looking for something I can disagree with. Believe whatever you want. Live your own life on faith-based or anything-based principles. But the minute you start trying to impose it on others - whether by large-scale legal changes, or just sharing a 'god hates fags' meme on Facebook - I have the right to disagree or disengage.

You can call this bigotry or intolerance, but I think a lot of atrocious, fascist, profoundly intolerant regimes and movements have gained power through people's initial polite reticence: to each his own, live and let live, let's agree to disagree. A lack of opposition is taken for compliance; people preaching hatred feel legitimised and stronger, the objects of this hate feel unsupported and vulnerable, and terrible momentum builds.

Smiffle · 29/01/2017 15:05

ARum, thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I'm not trying to paint anyone anywhere, just wondering whether writing off swathes of people based on their political beliefs was analogous, here, to also refusing to countenance a group because you believe their religious beliefs to be intolerable.

It's an interesting debate.