I won't lie, my relationship has been pretty bad since finding out I was expecting. The partner took the best part of 4.5 months to finally accept and come round to the fact that this was happening, after originally doing everything to suggest we should terminate. The stress and hurt endured in these first few months was horrendous, but things have evened out a bit.
As my belly is really pronouncing itself now (25 +5) and the baby is incredibly active, I am often found to be squealing with shock/horror/fear and delight at all the new things I'm experiencing. We have been told our baby is going to be tall and was practically impossible to pin down during the scan because of the level of activity.
The only thing that is getting me down, is that my partner will make a single reference to the baby that's coming perhaps just once a day. There will be few to no attempts to touch my belly and when I invite him to either look at my belly or touch it because the baby is particularly active; he's just not bothered and says things like 'Yes, I've felt it before, you know!' - Like it's got old already... Or 'It feels different for you inside than it does for me on the outside.' This is making me feel very very sad.
I know money is a bit of an issue at the moment and he's working very long hours. But he ends up having to do these hours because he's not very good at getting up and at it and planning his days effectively. Not that I could ever tell him this, as Ive been unemployed for some time and now I'm pregnant, can't get a job - because who is going to employ someone who is 6 months pregnant?
The heartbreaking thing for me, is that I want to be excited. After the first horrendous months, I want to embrace what's happening and start to plan and perhaps get a few small bits in preparation. I haven't got a single thing (not that I know what I need). Not even a singular baby-gro or teddy. He has said 'it's too early'.. Like some dealer of doom. That perhaps the baby won't come/survive. That in some ways he's still in denial and the only time he'll be 'fit' for it, is when the baby appears. I know he's very single-minded in the fact that he can only focus on one thing at a time, else he becomes overwhelmed; so his work and how tired he feels is the most important and only thing.
It broke my heart yesterday when I saw you could get 4D scans in a very local clinic and said 'Ooh, look, do you think we should get one of these done to see baby's face?' and he shrugged impassively and said 'What for?'
I have two ruptured discs in my back, De Quervains in both wrists and suspected SPD. I'm trying my best to be upbeat through all this and still have space in my heart and head for a little joy at what is coming.. But with his consistent dismissiveness (for example, when my face fell nearly in tears after he said 'I've felt it before!' he replied with 'Oh come on now, don't go there'.. rubbishing my feelings) - I feel very lonely and alone in all this. There are days when I think I'd be better off doing this on my own. But I don't want to. I do love him. He's making me very sad and robbing me of the joy I want to feel.
Has anyone experienced the same?... Can someone tell me that it might get better when the baby comes along? How do I get him to invest and be interested in the meantime? Perhaps see how it matters that he takes an interest and that once in a weekend, rather than sleeping or slobbing because he's tired or hungover, he might himself suggest we go and buy our first baby bits together - something? Anything?
Any experience and advice gratefully received x