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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give a free gym pass to a homeless man?

106 replies

Figure17a · 28/01/2017 12:34

I do a bit of volunteering with a homeless charity. I was chatting to one of out regulars who was saying he does his best to keep himself clean but hasn't had a shower in six months.

He lives in a tent Sad and for various reasons that won't change any time soon. He doesn't usually smell but is scruffy and looks quite obviously like a rough sleeper.

FTTT my (quite swanky) gym sends guest passes. WIBU to give them to him so he can shower? How would it go down with staff/management or other members. I dont want there to be a scene and make him uncomfortable but it seems like a solution for him. What do you think? How would you feel (if male!) about sharing a changing room at your expensive gym with him?

OP posts:
GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 19:10

Yes,exactly.cant see how op can't signpost on to resources the charity will know

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/01/2017 19:25

Presumably the free passes are given to encourage new members to have a taster of the gym. Of course he's human but they are more likely to lose business if he visits their showers. Plus what about the other homeless people?

I don't imagine many people outside MN would be too delighted at the prospect of one or more homeless people trooping in and using their facilities without having any intention of bringing in business.

And not everyone loves a homeless story - I imagine if people are paying a shitload to be a member of the gym they will find somewhere else to spend their money instead

raviolidreaming · 28/01/2017 19:29

cant see how op can't signpost on to resources the charity will know

Because they might not have capacity to support him / because they might not exist / because he might not be able to access them, for example due to location.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 19:33

Ok,but being a specialist homeless charity they'll have knowledge and liaison with other providers
So even if the specific charity op volunteer for doesn't have the resources they'll know who does
This is easily addressed,doesn't need gym pass etc.need signpost to appropriate service

Original poster
Figure17a · 28/01/2017 19:38

Thank you for all your views. Of course he's been signposted to places he can get help with benefits and even a place to stay. He doesn't want to leave his tent.

He's living on the margins of a small town close to the gym I go to which is at a golf club on the outskirts, not near a city with facilities for homeless people. The charity offers lots of different support within the community. As we (thankfully) don't have much homelessness, there isn't a requirement for the big charities locally so we've stepped up to help this man and a couple of others.

I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't quite explain (to myself) why and I don't think I've had an answer to that here - it's just that the nice people at the gym are unlikely to want to share their privilege, which as they've paid for it is their prerogative but somehow seems inadequate.

If I offered him the use of my facilities I wouldn't be allowed to volunteer anymore.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 28/01/2017 19:41

I'd be very surprised if there were no facilities for homeless people nearby. The gym isn't a public washroom - you're being very unreasonable to think they should do this.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 19:43

So he has had appropriate advice,support.chose to decline it.if he's capacitous he can do so
If he is not capacitious he may need his mh assessed again charity can lease with other agencies to discuss
This isn't about other people having homes and disposable income for gym,they're not at fault.at all
Do you get any supervision?your misguided

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 19:50

It kind of is about other people not wanting to share their nice middle class gym air with a homeless person. What other reason would there be?

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 19:54

Swanky Gym is a fee generating business.its not a hostel,or facility for homeless to wash
There is no reason for the gym to offer washroom facilities.nor is this necessarily bad
The op is very muddled in her reasoning she needs supervision and to ask for advice from charity

megletthesecond · 28/01/2017 19:56

Our large town is in the process of installing a shower for homeless people in a drop in centre. IIRC the funds are being raised though public, council and private donations. Let me see if I can find a link, it might be possibly to replicate how they've gone about it.

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 19:57

The gym isn't offering washroom facilities. They are offering their paying members day passes to give to who they choose unless they say 'no homeless people' on them.

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 19:58

Would you say the same about a homeless person buying some food with a voucher someone gave them?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 28/01/2017 19:58

Dear God.

In 2017 there's places charging £1.50 to homeless folk to have a wash. Am I the only one that has a problem with that?! Confused

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 20:01

And some of the comments on here are very Scrooge-like 'Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?' Hmm

BigGreenOlives · 28/01/2017 20:01

One of the local drop in centers has restricted showers to those who are homeless as people who have substance abuse issues were washing there rather than in their homes to save putting money on their electricity meters.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 28/01/2017 20:01

OP. I get the sentiment behind it but people can be pretentious arses and I doubt this will go down well with the gyms more arsey difficult members. If he goes in at the wrong time of day and comes across such an arse it will just be huge embarrassment all around.

Yes there should be facilities around but I live in a big city and when I was working I'd not leave the city until late. Every night without fail walking through to my bus I'd see a handful of homeless people having a wash in the fountains in the square. Sad

ilovesooty · 28/01/2017 20:03

Capacitious?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 28/01/2017 20:04

Sorry wonderingsoul that weren't a dig at you. I just can't believe someone would charge a homeless person to have a wash and no one would question it. They used to that in the Victorian times.

ArriettyClock1 · 28/01/2017 20:05

Could you let him use your shower instead?

This seems like a perfect solution as you're obviously charitable.

Using the gym facilities is a big no-no.

bumsexatthebingo · 28/01/2017 20:08

The op has already said that volunteers are not allowed to invite people who use the charity into their homes. This is a pretty standard rule for every charity I have volunteered for. It is to protect the volunteers and the, sometimes vulnerable, people they work with.

Out2pasture · 28/01/2017 20:09

Our local swimming pool does not charge for showering.
When our home plumbing was being renovated we used the pool shower. I gather from the desk staff it is fairly common. Check with your council and see if services can be improved.

SeahorsesSwim · 28/01/2017 20:11

Yabu it's a bad idea for everyone concerned

Thingywhatsit · 28/01/2017 20:17

@figure17a

I am beginning to understand you now. So this guy is not really open to help and likes his rent and the solitude it brings.

Does he have food etc? Seems that he doesn't really want the interference at the moment. Can you try perhaps to befriend him? Go check on him when you go to the gym etc? Encourage him to go to a hostel rather than his tent?

It is very difficult, but it can take a long time to get people to accept help. I know of a gent locally, absolutely lovely guy, no issues with alcohol or drugs,but very quiet, that I spent a few years (whilst working at a shelter) trying to get off the streets, often taken him food, gone to seek him out when it's been freezing cold with a warm cuppa for him. He preferred to sleep in a car park about 300 metres away from the shelter! At first he would only accept food off me if I was in the shelter van - otherwise he would put food in the bin if he didn't trust the source. Then he started recognising me from my coat, or my children if they were with me when we parked. (He hung round the town car parks a lot) After 9 years of this - he is finally in the shelter. (And will be having regular showers!) it can all be a very long process......

ilovesooty · 28/01/2017 20:23

To the OP - I would imagine your company's volunteer code of conduct might preclude giving gifts to service users.

Butterymuffin · 28/01/2017 20:23

The way you can help is to think more broadly about meeting this need in your area, ie for the other local homeless people (even if that's a very small number of people). What could be set up for people in this man's position? What can you and the other volunteers do to make that happen? That's the answer, not trying to get one bloke into a posh gym.