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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give a free gym pass to a homeless man?

106 replies

Figure17a · 28/01/2017 12:34

I do a bit of volunteering with a homeless charity. I was chatting to one of out regulars who was saying he does his best to keep himself clean but hasn't had a shower in six months.

He lives in a tent Sad and for various reasons that won't change any time soon. He doesn't usually smell but is scruffy and looks quite obviously like a rough sleeper.

FTTT my (quite swanky) gym sends guest passes. WIBU to give them to him so he can shower? How would it go down with staff/management or other members. I dont want there to be a scene and make him uncomfortable but it seems like a solution for him. What do you think? How would you feel (if male!) about sharing a changing room at your expensive gym with him?

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/01/2017 13:31

I would put money on the gym going apeshit - if this is a swanky gym then they aren't going to want a homeless bloke going in for a shower.

Plus that's a good way to ensure that the bloke gets humiliated and the gym stops handing out guest passes.

bimbobaggins · 28/01/2017 13:32

Fttt- from time to time

christmaswreaths · 28/01/2017 13:32

I think it's misguided too, sorry, I know you have the best intentions at heart.

Also I think he needs to have somewhere that he is able to access long term, as the odd free pass isn't really going to address the problem. I would try a different idea.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/01/2017 13:32

And it's not a reasonable request!

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2017 13:35

I think the solution is to find out from your charity where shower facilities are that he can use and let him know, I don't think the gym is the solution, it's a short term fix and may make him feel worse, as in he may be uncomfortable in there.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 28/01/2017 13:44

I'm sure your heart is in the right place...but no, you cannot do this because he will be thoroughly embarrassed when they turn him away, if he even bothers to attempt it.

As others have already said, if you want to help, see what free resources are out there and/or a hostel that you or your charity could buy him a night or two in.

wonderingsoul · 28/01/2017 13:51

Check with the gym first. Our local gym/pool allows the local homeless people to use the changing rooms and have a hot shower for £1.50. They put it in the charity box on the counter. I suspect the your gym will want to use the day passes to attract business but they may have a similar scheme for showers only?

So they take money of people with very little money to no money to give to charty .. am i the only ome who finds this really sad werid and odd.
If they wanted to so something nice for charty let them use the shower and changing room for free.

ArcheryAnnie · 28/01/2017 13:54

Are you in a big city, by any chance? Because major rail terminals sometimes have showering facilities in the bathrooms. Eg in London the train station at Paddington has showers for £5, accessible to everyone, available 7 am to 11 pm on platform 12. You could bung him a fiver and send him there if you think the gym might turn him away.

glitterazi · 28/01/2017 13:56

Although it's a lovely kind idea on your part, I really can't see the gym going for this to be honest.
I used to be a member of a gym, and any new people coming they'd be doing questionnaires/talking you through the machines etc even if you were only there as a one off as a guest.
I really don't think they'll be up for lending out the facilities to the homeless.

unflinchingasaphotograph · 28/01/2017 13:57

In fairness I regularly look scruffy and unkempt at my swanky gym and no ones said anything.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 13:59

In fairness you don't resemble a man sleeping in a tent,with no utilities,no running water

unflinchingasaphotograph · 28/01/2017 13:59

Sometimes I do Gimmee! I'm not being controversial: if I go after sorting the horses I am muddy and smelly and wild looking. No one ever gives you so much of a side eye.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 14:01

No you don't.you look like a horsey mc woman.
You don't look like a man rough sleeping,no utilities,no running water

unflinchingasaphotograph · 28/01/2017 14:02

Well, we will have to agree to disagree, as you can't see me and I'm not going to scare everybody by putting a photo up Wink

The point I was making is I don't think the staff pay much attention to who is going in and out.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 14:05

Presumably prior to mucking out you put on clean clothes,had shower in last 6mth
A rough sleeper with no access to Wmch,shower,clean clothes won't resemble a horsey woman
Staff at a swanky gym will very much pay attention to who come and go.thats their job

unflinchingasaphotograph · 28/01/2017 14:05

The ones at mine don't!

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 14:10

Clearly not swanky enough

Thingywhatsit · 28/01/2017 14:10

Please don't - get in touch with your local homeless shelter and ask if they have showering facilities he can use. The one where I used to work did, we would supply towels and shower gel etc. Then signpost this man to them. That will be a lot more pleasant for him and would be more beneficial to him as he maybe (if he open to it) be offered advice and some food whilst he is there.

starsorwater · 28/01/2017 14:12

No you can't, he would likely be humiliated in some way.

But you are right, there should be somewhere for homeless people to have showers, public showers like public loos. That ought to happen. With safe dog leaving place.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 14:12

Given op volunteers for homeless charity,they can sign post and get him a benefits check too
He needs signposted to appropriate support

Sara107 · 28/01/2017 14:14

I agree with others that the swanky gym is unlikely to let him in - homeless people are often turned away from restaurants and cafes ( even not very swanky fast food places). It would be better if you could look into alternatives he could use more easily like a drop-in centre. It's kind of you to think about it and want to help him though.

unflinchingasaphotograph · 28/01/2017 14:14

The problem is, there's at least a partial chance he doesn't want appropriate support, he may just want a shower.

raviolidreaming · 28/01/2017 14:16

Those suggesting that the OP invites the man to shower in her home: I would expect that the charity have clear rules about maintaining boundaries with the service users and that this would be an absolute 'no' due to the potentially vulnerable position it puts them both in.

GimmeeMoore · 28/01/2017 14:17

Yes and op volunteers at homeless charity they'll can signpost,offer shower facilities
Man isn't compelled to take benefit or other advice.it can be offered he can decline

BigGreenOlives · 28/01/2017 14:18

Drop in centers for the homeless may easily have showers he could access, if he wanted to. He may feel he can't leave his possessions for the length of time it would take to reach the gym, shower & return.