How early can you play the trumpet?

[Rosamund1]

Writing on behalf of a friend who 'can't be arsed to sign up.'

Friend lives on end terrace. The neighbor next door is a grumpy old bat. E.g. Friend sent her a Christmas card and got no reply (lights on and off at the house, someone is in). The walls are very thin and neighbour used to bangs on the wall if the kids ran up the stairs. Friend texted and said come and lets discuss soundproofing and perhaps sharing costs. Neighbour did not reply and has not heard from her since.

Before that, one afternoon friend had a 'play date' and six rowdy children were playing pirates in the evening/afternoon after school 4-7 ish. Neighbour said she's off work with a bad back, keep the noise down. Friend texted 'sorry to hear that, let me know if you need help with shopping or anything?' Again no reply.

Now the problem is trumpet. Friends ds has been offered free trumpet lessons at school. The problem is getting him to practice. After school it's always 'I'm too tired' and it's hard to set a routine with scouts, swimming, football etc. They leave the house for school at 8.15 and friend thought 8am would be a good time to do 5mins daily but is worried about neighbour.

My opinion is that living in a terrace (as we do), you need to be prepared for noise apart from 9pm -7am. Neighbour can just deal with it.

AIBU

My child also plays the trumpet and we live in a semi. I wouldn't let him practice before 9am or after 9pm. If the adjoining neighbours had small children or worked nights then I would discuss with them. Afterschool is the time to do it, although I do understand it can be hard to fit everything in!

It's a tricky one. My DS has been playing the trumpet for just over a year now and I empathise with the 'too tired after school' situation. It is hard physical work and also requires a lot of concentration. You can't practice in a half hearted manner in the way you could on a piano for example. We do occasional morning practices but we have lovely easy going neighbours and another brass player next door so no issues. 5 minutes sounds like the right sort of practice time for a beginner. 8am sounds reasonable to me. Shame you have grumpy neighbours.

Musical instrument like flutes, string etc - fine in terrace houses. Brass or drum sets are selfish.

My brother learnt drums as a child, he had an electrical set for a home so he wouldn't upset neighbours

strongmummy. I would love to hear you singing opera! That's amazing!

The neighbour doesn't sound rude at all tbh. Do you thank every single person who sends you a christmas card???

Why are you so invested in this issue?

for brass instruments you can get special mutes (silent brass) which make a trumpet no louder than a tv in the evenings.

No early than 9am and no later than 7pm would be my view

I think your friend needs to stop texting and actually go round and talk to her neighbour face to face.

And yes, 8am is too early to bombard a sick person with beginner's trumpet noises. If the child is too tired to practise after school, he's doing too much and should forget about taking on a new hobby.

strings, like cello or upright piano are worse in a terraced house ime as they 'send' out vibrations to neighbours via floors and walls.

I don't think any instrument should be inaccessible to the poorer members of society.

If they are being practiced for 5-20 mins a day during reasonable hours then there is no problem.

Hahaha at the poster who thinks you shouldn't be allowed to learn an instrument if you live in a terrace. Really? I mean really?

I think the opposite, if you live in a terrace you need to understand that people have the right to enhance their lives and they have the same rights as people living in a detached house, they're not second hand citizens and if you don't like any noise between the hours of 8 am to 9 pm then you should go and live in the woods. Or fork out and buy a detached.

Can't he practise in school, say in lunchtimes or before/after school? If your friend already has a strained relationship with the neighbours over noise, playing the trumpet at that time in the morning isn't going to help much!

That said, some of the digital brass mutes are quite effective (they take the edge of the sound and the player can hear their playing through normal headphones plugged into the end). Or just a normal mute to take the edge off it.

8.00 is totally taking the piss. I work ft and would be fucked off with that.

And 'grumpy old bat'? Seriously?

She may have many reasons for not replying to a message - is your friend pissed off that she didn't immediately give her effusive thanks? Ffs. If she only asked so the poor woman would fall over herself to be grateful then she's ridiculous.

I wouldn't play any of my instruments before 9am or after 6pm. I think the times in between is fine though. Noise is just part of having neighbours.

8am!!

I would go batshit!!

Listening to a badly played trumpet when I'm trying to wake up

The parents will have to make him do it after school or he stops the lessons.

Besides 5 minutes a day is nothing. He needs to practice for a good 15-30 minutes daily

It wouldn't bother me, but as a brass player I am used to the noise. However, I would not play my instrument that early except in some exceptional circumstance, which i would have discussed with neighbours first.
DD is about to learn tenor horn and she will practice after school and at weekends after 9am.

Regarding talking in person, as I said above, friend invited neighbour to discuss and just got no reply. Of course you don't need to reply to everything but I was demonstrating a pattern of ignoring and not responding to what are polite and even kind messages which I think is very rude.

Another example about the neighbour- in summer a chiffon scarf from the washing line blew into neighbours garden. She complained about letting things come into her garden. There had never been a single ball or anything before then. Some people are just difficult and unreasonable.

If I lived in an end terrace, I wouldn't be encouraging trumpet playing at all. This would not only effect the person directly next door, but the whole terrace. 8am is totally unreasonable. Builders may be able to do it as working on a necessary project that has an end point, trumpet practice could go on for years!!! Yes when people live in a terrace they can expect some noise, but you also have to be considerate. In my experience, people can be as quietly spoken as you think in public, but behind closed doors with three kids, it's a different matter. My neighbours seem lovely and quiet when you speak to them, but you should hear them screaming at their kids late at night!!! Last night was just about to go to sleep when next door shouted at his kids "get to bed"....Loud enough to wake me up. Also you may try to belittle the noise made when kids run upstairs, but my next door neighbours can sound like a herd of elephants. Perhaps she didn't return a Christmas card because she's had a life of hell living next to your quietly spoken neighbour!!!!

Loving the idea that your friend expects the neighbour to pay towards soundproofing

Look it isn't the neighbour's problem that the child has a million other activities so is too tired or can't fit in the practice - as the parent it's for your friend to accommodate without causing undue inconvenience for anyone else

People who live in a terrace (which generally means the less well off half of the population) are allowed to learn to play instruments! Not everything good in life is reserved for Justin and Jemima who live in a detached in the leafy suburbs with Boris the golden retriever and Fidget the pony.

Ds1 is in a proper northern brass band (training section). Most of the kids in it live in houses with party walls. Round here music's for everyone.

Rude not to reply to a text/card?! Wtf? The neighbour is sending out very clear signals that she doesn't wan to interact socially, leave her the heck alone, therefore.

8am is ridiculous. Our neighbour had a clarinet and was in an orchestra and decided to play by th dividing all, constantly, hours and hours. Fair enough, he was a professional, but it was all the time and drove us nuts.

She's probably ignoring because she doesn't want to get into a confrontation with your friend. The friend can't even be arsed to set up a MN account ffs! Does she have form for making other people deal with her shit?

Not sure I would return a text if someone was asking me to go halves on soundproofing, when the lady next door probably thinks all the blame for that is one-sided.

Fuck 8am and fuck a trumpet 🎺 at that time especially!

I would say 10am-6pm really, just thinking of how hideous the noise will be.