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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to let me know if he is running late...

27 replies

Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 18:47

...10 minutes before DS has to be picked up from Beavers and DH is still over half an hour away and he said he would pick him up when I asked this morning? Even though he knows that I will be giving DD her dinner at that time and the walk to get to the hut is 15 at the least up a massive Hill? Sorry need to rant. I don't mind doing the journey but it pees me off when I get little or no notice that I have to pick DS from somewhere. I understand if he is stuck in traffic but if you leave somewhere half hour later than normal knowing you have said you would pick DS up, wouldn't a thoughtful person just let their other half know so they aren't just giving a 1 year old dinner and then having to leg it up a bloody steep hill? Sorry rant over. I do feel better now. For the record, this is the third time he has done this in 2 weeks and I repeatedly ask him to let me know. I would start doing the Beavers run etc all the time to make my life easier except that it somehow feels like he would then just think "hey, easy life!"

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 27/01/2017 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 19:58

Ah thank you. Have a Wine right back, and maybe a pizza too. He still doesn't understand why I got annoyed.

OP posts:
Astro55 · 27/01/2017 20:00

Start doing not back till he dos understand -

Pseudonym99 · 27/01/2017 20:06

In future, arrange for him to do the pick up, but you go and pick your son up anyway.

NavyandWhite · 27/01/2017 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 20:21

I would do all of the above except that it would leave DS waiting around and getting a bit stressed, he's only 7. I do pretty much all pick ups and school runs as I am a SAHM at the moment, but if DH says he will do that particular pick up at that sort of time all I ask is for a heads up if I need to plan ahead with DD'so dinner, factor in the slog up the hill etc.
I just think it's the fact that I have asked him for ages now to send a quick text if he is running late so I know where I am and he never bloody does it!! Gah!

OP posts:
mambono5 · 27/01/2017 20:23

Very irritating. Can you give him a call a bit in advance to make sure he will do the pick-up as promised? Of course, you shouldn't have to, but you are the one being punished here.

EsmeWeatherwax · 27/01/2017 20:24

My husband is unbelievably good at texting me half an hour after he's supposed to be home to tell me he'll be another hour. It's maddening. YANBU.

Gizlotsmum · 27/01/2017 20:27

Oh no that would wind me up. Maybe (and you shouldn't have to do this) but text at the time he would have to leave to make sure he is on his way?

Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 20:28

Mam, my phone isn't letting me bold. I would but I don't want to call in case he is driving and he does a labouring job which isn't always completely set times. I don'the mind if there is no one to pick up but he honestly doesn't seem to realise that no warning is a pain in the arse!

Esme (I cried when she died) it does seem to be a certain skill doesn't it?

OP posts:
AnythingGoesWithMe · 27/01/2017 20:32

Could you install a tracker app on your phones? It would allow you to have a quick look and see where he is.

NavyandWhite · 27/01/2017 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnythingGoesWithMe · 27/01/2017 20:32

Could you install a tracker app on your phones? It would allow you to have a quick look and see where he is.

NewMum17 · 27/01/2017 20:32

Nope YANBU at all. Set an alarm on his phone to remind him when to leave every Friday! Maybe even 2? Grin

Oblomov17 · 27/01/2017 20:39

This would make me very cross. I need notice. Most people do. He really needs to realise this.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/01/2017 21:11

Don't leave your DS waiting like a PP suggested. It's not fair to him or the volunteer leaders who have their own stuff to be doing but can't leave him (at least 2 would have to stay as can't be 1:1).

But yanbu, he said he would pick him up, he should leave on time to be able to do that. It's not fair on you, DS, your other child, or the leaders. He wouldn't be late for work or a meeting so he shouldn't be late when he's made s commitment to you and DS.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/01/2017 21:11

I know you said you wouldn't leave him waiting Wine

HelsBels5000 · 27/01/2017 21:13

My DH is exactly the same - its exasperating!

Pineappletastic · 27/01/2017 21:19

Get him a hands free for the car so it doesn't matter if he's driving, call him at the time he needs to leave. Or the tracker app, me and the DH have one because sometimes it is easier than calling or texting, but a lot of people find it weird.

Love51 · 27/01/2017 21:21

Once is annoying. 3 times in 2 weeks is a fuck you. Unless there was a serious reason he couldn't ring or text then he needs to up his game. It's not the not managing to get there, work is important, it's the not being arsed to text.

Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 21:45

I hear you all!! Wine Wine I don't think he will ever get how impractical and annoying it is. I just poured myself a glass of wine and noted "ooh I didn'the think to let you know I was getting a wine, how inconsiderate, next time I will promise to remember" (I won't). Childish, yes but make me feel better? Also yes. Ha!

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Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 23:06

I just tried to introduce him to WhatsApp, he got too carried away looking at which of his mates were on it to listen to me telling how to use it. I give up for tonight. I know he can't use anything whilst driving but does WhatsApp work if your phone range is a bit crap butility there is wifi (which sounds like an anomaly in itself). Either way, I swear he has the empathy and attention span of a baboon sometimes. I just hope tonight he sticks a finger up his bump, smells it and faints like the one on You've Been Framed. At least I can put on the Sound Of Music then and sing my annoyance away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 23:07

Bump? Bum!

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elektrawoman · 27/01/2017 23:15

That would really annoy me too! DH did this so I always used to text him on the nights he was doing Brownie pick-up at about the time he would need to leave. Yes I know I shouldn't have to ....

Original poster
Bluewombler2k · 27/01/2017 23:29

I would but he doesn't reply to texts very much either. I don'the mind that, each to their own but something like this instance only takes a second. He was ignoring me tonight when I had a go at him about it, then I read out all of your responses. Then he got defensive and told me his phone doesn't govern his life. Ummm, but letting me know doesn'the either then? I can see this one lasting until tomorrow as I can guarantee he will storm up to bed soon and act like normal in the morning. All I want is him to understand how rushed it is when he doesn't let me know. Ahoy hot, signing out for tonight as I am going to slob on the sofa when he goes off to sulk and play solitaire. It's amazing how calming that game is.

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