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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

591 replies

Truntscump · 27/01/2017 17:12

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

OP posts:
MadreTranquillitatis · 27/01/2017 23:17

Now that Croatia also seems to support me, I've decided that you're all wrong (except Bluntness because obviously having two nonne automatically makes you right) and I totally have to start some movement and reclaim Luca for women. Grin

gunting · 27/01/2017 23:22

Lovely name, op.

Congrats Flowers

Willyoujustbequiet · 27/01/2017 23:43

Sorry op but I'm with granny

Besides with all the wonderfully feminine names out there why would you saddle your dd with a boys name?

Its harsh but my immediate thought if i heard this on a girl would be that the parents were a bit ignorant and didnt look up the origin of the name ...sorry

Letseatgrandma · 27/01/2017 23:48

Its harsh but my immediate thought if i heard this on a girl would be that the parents were a bit ignorant and didnt look up the origin of the name ...sorry

My immediate thought would be that you had been hoping for a boy.

HashiAsLarry · 27/01/2017 23:54

Call your DD what you want within reason, and given Luca is a real name its within reason.

My GM would have hated my DDs name, and possibly even the shortening of it. In fact most of our family weren't initially keen. DS's name is more common, but GM would have hated that too. I don't care, she got to name her DC, I'll name mine.

HashiAsLarry · 27/01/2017 23:56

Just to add, DD's name is well known as a female name but in its country of origin its a male name. My name is generally known as female but is also well known as a male name in another country. These things are interchangeable.

reuset · 28/01/2017 00:01

I've only ever heard it used for boys!
Even in the UK Luca is approx top 50 for boys, with just a tiny smattering (a handful each year) of people who have decided, ho humm, to use it for a girl. Wink

notangelinajolie · 28/01/2017 00:37

It is an Italian boy's name but if you aren't Italian then it doesn''t really matter. My cousin is called Andrea which is a boy's name in Italy. The only time anyone commented on it was when they went on holiday to Italy. So I guess as long as you don't go to Italy no one be the wiser. I quite like it - she is your daughter so it's your choice.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 00:44

so I don't really care about narrow minded people thinking on it as a strictly boys name

Sorry, but bullshit. Its not narrow minded and it is strictly a boys name. It's like an Italian calling a dd John or Bob and then complaining when people tell her its a boys name!

You've given your dd a boys name. Your choice, but don't give out to people who say so!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/01/2017 01:14

Sorry, but it's a terrible name for a girl. Lucia is miles better.

I'm another one who thinks of the Suzanne Vega song.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/01/2017 01:18

Alex is a boys name
Sam is a boys name
Jamie is a boys name
Frankie is a boys name

Really?
Alex is short for Alexandra;
Sam for Samantha; Frankie for Francesca.

Please tell me no one actually uses them as real names.

JessieMcJessie · 28/01/2017 01:32

My Dad died of leukaemia. I can't say the connection jumped out at me but now that it has been highlighted I can sort of see your Gran's point in that it is a word that will have sadly been all to commonly said in your family in recent timescale

Sorry for your loss OP. My Mum also died not long before my DS was born and it has very much tinged this happyvtime with sadness.

However, YABVVU to describe the Suzanne Vega as "middle of the road"!

I was also under the impression that her song was about a beaten woman and have been amazed to read here that it was about an abused male child.

Kit30 · 28/01/2017 01:45

I know an Italian girl called Nicola....

LongHardStare · 28/01/2017 01:46

Congratulations on your new baby and it is a lovely name YANBU.

But... YABU to call Suzanne Vega middle of the road! Amazing singer songwriter

LongHardStare · 28/01/2017 01:47

Oops just seen JessieMcJessie

psychicliv · 28/01/2017 01:49

maybe instead of worrying what your family think, consider if it'll have any impact on her in the future (generally being used as boys name). Personally i think if you're happy do what you feel, plenty of names now unisex which weren't really before e.g. charlie as a full name not short for charlotte and don't get me started on kids called random stuff like versace and apple...

Somevampsarehot · 28/01/2017 01:59

I think it's rather lovely for a for a girl actually op. I'm not so keen on it for a boy but I think it doesn't sound as masculine as something like Edward or Steven! I wouldn't have made the connection between Luca and leukaemia either unless someone else mentioned it

Littleballerina · 28/01/2017 02:04

I love it, it's beautiful. You said that you like it and that it suits your little one so leave it. Maybe granny could call her a nickname?Her mn? Sorry for your loss.

theothercatpurred · 28/01/2017 02:08

I know a female Luca and I've always thought it was an exceptionally nice name.

theothercatpurred · 28/01/2017 02:10

maybe instead of worrying what your family think, consider if it'll have any impact on her in the future

Oh give over. As I said in my PP I know a 12yo girl Luca. AFAIK her name hasn't impacted on her future. How ridiculous!

JonHammAndCheese · 28/01/2017 03:51

Just because it's forrin

Forrin? Foreign?

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 28/01/2017 05:02

It is a boys name and gaining rapidly in popularity here too. I have a 16 year old Luca and whilst we never met any when he was born there are more and more now.

Do agree that it may be worth changing it to Lucia - but just watch out as that is pronounced Loo-chee-a. So no hard c.

Or how about Lulu?

trulyscrumptious33 · 28/01/2017 05:40

Sorry, I lived in Italy and would be very surprised to hear Luca was indeed a girl. It's such a well known name as well that she may hear this her whole life...

albertcampionscat · 28/01/2017 07:04

What Truly said.

Writerwannabe83 · 28/01/2017 08:07

I'm very, very sorry for you loss OP - it's obviously been a very difficult time for you. It's very upsetting to think your mom didn't meet your daughter before she was born Flowers

Prior to my DS being born MIL was so incredibly excited about the pregnancy but unfortunately took ill with cancer during it. By the time DS was born my MIL was very unwell and she only got to hold him once before she died shortly after his birth. It makes me so sad to think she has missed out on seeing him grow up and he has missed out on having a fantastic grandma in his life.

Yes, I do think Luca is a boy's name, but your reason behind it is really beautiful and if I grew up with an unusual name but one that had such a special, personal meaning then I would be privileged. Luca isn't even an unusual name, it's just that it's a boy's name.

Yes you could have chosen a female name with the same meaning, but you didn't and it's done now so don't dwell on it Flowers

Ps) it doesn't make me think of Leukaemia at all.