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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

591 replies

Truntscump · 27/01/2017 17:12

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

OP posts:

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 27/01/2017 21:11

caraaspen the Tuscan town is spelt Lucca not Luca. Not the same at all.

I've lived in Italy, OP, so yes to my ears it would sound very odd for a baby girl to be Luca. I have always loved Lucia (said Loo-chee-a in Italian as the c then i makes it a "ch" sound, rather than the anglicised Loo-see-a) so that would be my vote BUT if you - and your DD - can handle explaining it, then why not?

Sorry for the loss of your Mum.

bookworm14 · 27/01/2017 21:14

You can obviously use whatever name you choose, but Luca is definitely a boy's name - it's the Italian equivalent of Luke. If you're looking for a name that means 'light', Lucy and Lucia both have the same root and meaning.

Hedgyhoggy · 27/01/2017 21:15

My eldest is named Fran. From his name everyone assumes he's agile. That's fine when they're a baby but it does rather get on mine and his nerves now. I think in hindsight I would have called him something else. I don't like that someone's first impression of him is one of slight confusion.

Hedgyhoggy · 27/01/2017 21:15

A girl not agile!!

smudgedlipstick · 27/01/2017 21:21

I think Luca rose is absolutely beautiful, Luca is one of my top names for a girl x

user1471545174 · 27/01/2017 21:23

It's a lovely name but a boy's name.

notsurehowtodothis · 27/01/2017 21:29

Alex is a boys name
Sam is a boys name
Jamie is a boys name
Frankie is a boys name
Blah blah blah.....

There are plenty of girls with the above (and not shortened variants either) The 'boys name' bit isn't the OP's issue. Nor is that part anyone's business.

OP, it's a gorgeous name. Big hugs to you x

somethingwitty3432 · 27/01/2017 21:30

Luca Rose is a beautiful name OP. Even more so that it's personal to you & reminds you of your Mum.

How sad u had to lose her before your DD arrived - clearly there's part of her entwined in ur daughters soul & perhaps that's what made gran think of the link & speak up. You're all grieving, let there be light xxx

DoWop2 · 27/01/2017 21:32

Luka Rose is a god awful anime character. I think Luca is acceptable for a girl, yes, it would be very odd in Italy but we're not in Italy. Whether you will always have the leukaemia connotation is more important.

CaraAspen · 27/01/2017 21:32

Oh. Misspelled Lucca, I see. Thanks for pointing it out!

Want2bSupermum · 27/01/2017 21:44

FrancisCrawford You had me at Boelek. When I was pregnant with DS I told my mum we were calling him Boelek. She had a fit. Then I told her I was joking and we are naming him after my Dads middle name (my mother hates my dad). She was so happy she wasn't going to have a grandchild called Boelek it took her 3 months to recover and start bitching that I was naming DS after my Dad!

Willialwaysbelookeddownon · 27/01/2017 22:16

I haven't read the whole thread but seen its been written a lot that it is a boys name. I know one Luca from Brazil in her 20's, a girl who is 15 called Luca and then a baby boy Luca. She certainly won't be the only one in the world.
I think it's beautiful OP and I think some people have had bad days and being unnecessarily rude!

Willialwaysbelookeddownon · 27/01/2017 22:20

And the reason for calling her Luca is beautiful also. Have confidence in your decisions. Your dear grandmother will get over it, because it's her great granddaughter. Grief can make people say some horrible things

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 27/01/2017 22:28

Personally, I think I Lucia Rose is very pretty. It also means light. I think Luca will cause confusion all her life and I'm a fan of keeping kids lives as easy as possible

llangennith · 27/01/2017 22:35

Luca is a boy's name. End of.

backtowork2015 · 27/01/2017 22:36

I remember being very hurt my granny didn't like my dds non traditional name. But years have passed and so, unfortunately, has Granny , and my dds name is her name, the one we chose and love and suits her.
Try not to be swayed by comments when you're not only emotional from being a new mum but also from losing your own.
FWIW I like Luca for a girl and definitely does not make me think of leukaemia

MidniteScribbler · 27/01/2017 22:39

I'm normally pretty traditional when it comes to names, but I actually don't mind Luca for a girl.

OP, could granny be allowed to call her Rose or even Rosie as it is her middle name? Or LR (Ella) her initials? It could become a very sweet nickname between her and her grandma. I had a close family friend call me a different name as a baby and when I was a child, not because she didn't like my name, it's just what stuck, and no one else in the world would ever be allowed to call me that, but it was important to the relationship between us. It could be a way of letting your grandmother feel like she has been considered, but without actually changing your daughter's name. As awful as it sounds, at 96, your grandmother is only going to be part of your daughter's life for a handful of years, then she will just be a beautiful memory. A nickname between them that is their own special one, could be something very sweet.

wiltingfast · 27/01/2017 22:45

i can't believe people are being so negative. Your gran is clearly still deeply grieving, hence the Luca/leukaemia connection. Try not to react. The connection will dim as time passes and your daughter grows and properly becomes her name.

It is a lovely name. It's also a simple name. I really sincerely doubt it will cause any confusion. There are 2 girls in ds's class with boyish names. No one is confused fgs.

FantaIsFine · 27/01/2017 22:49

But if you and your partner are happy that's all that matters

Er, no. I would have quite liked if my parents had given some thought to the implications of the name on my birth certificate to the massive annoying inconvenience it has been for 40 years.

Mine's trivial, as well. From the get-go they called me from my second registered name (dad having introduced a first en route to registry office). Total PITA and they're both definite female names as well. Hate to think how much worse it could have been.

FantaIsFine · 27/01/2017 23:07

Alex is a boys name - no, it's the familiar form of Alexander/re/Alejandro for a boy or Alexandra etc for a girl
Sam is a boys name - no, it's the familiar form of Samuel for a boy or Samantha for a girl
Jamie is a boys name - no, it's the familiar form of James, or Jaime etc Iberian. Jaime more common as a spelling for girls I believe. Not sure if there is a feminine version actually
Frankie is a boys name - no, it's the familiar form of Francis/Francisco etc or Francesca for a girl

Charles/Carlos -Charlotte/Caroline-Caz/Chaz
William-Wilhelmina - Bill etc
Etc

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/01/2017 23:09

It's a boys name