To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

[Truntscump]

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

Whether the OP likes it or not, giving a girl a name which is traditionally a boy's one, is going to cause problems. Even a foreign name.You wouldn't call a girl Pierre or Henrik or Ivan..

I wouldn't like to have a name that would lead most people (who saw it without having met me) to assume I was male. I would get bored of explaining.

Luca is a lovely name - for a boy.

This isn't- or shouldn't be- on this particular occasion about whether it's a boy's name or a girl's name.

This isn't- or shouldn't be- on this particular occasion about whether it's a boy's name or a girl's name

It has to be part of the issue, at least.

No. It's about the utterly shocking way many posters are talking about a bereaved woman.

I don't mind appearing so called 'small minded', judgemental people need small minded people like myself in order to feel good about themselves so that's fine.
And I'll be keeping the name Luca Rose for my DD because I like it.
Thanks to the compassionate people who have been able to see the nuance of my situation and who have also reminded me that my poor granny is grieving just as much as I am and this is what caused her to make such a remark.
I too am a post partum and grieving mother to a new baby and thus has been lost on a lot of you which is a shame.
Thank you for helping me get this off my chest though, I can see the wood for the trees now.

No. It's about the utterly shocking way many posters are talking about a bereaved woman

Thats an important but separate issue. They are just cunts being cunty, what can you do?

OP, thats fine. It really really isn't that people are small minded though. You need to harden yourself on this issue because you are going to have it literally for EVER. It's a boys name, get used to it!

Bertrand is right - sometimes we are so fast to answer we forget the back story - in this case a fairly recently bereaved woman . I don't think I was nasty but I was a tad fat to provide my
Opinion

And I'll be keeping the name Luca Rose for my DD because I like it.

You might like it but it will be your daughter who will have to wear it daily and explain. She'll meet plenty of others at school etc, as it's a popular name, but they will be male.
No, people are not being small minded. It's no different from using Colin or Alan for a girl. It's not a unisex name, and the tiny number of times it has been registered for girls looks like it has been done in ignorance rather than by design.
I am also sorry, for the bereaved grandmother and the comments made by some.

You might like it but it will be your daughter who will have to wear it daily and explain. She'll meet plenty of others at school etc, as it's a popular name, but they will be male.
No, people are not being small minded. It's no different from using Colin or Alan for a girl. It's not a unisex name, and the tiny number of times it has been registered for girls looks like it has been done in ignorance rather than by design.
I am also sorry, for the bereaved grandmother and the comments made by some.

FFS Reuset, let it go.

Horrible harpies harping on.

It's no different from using Colin or Alan for a girl. It's actually very different. Luca is a very feminine sounding boys name to British ears - there are very few names used here ending in "a" that are masculine. So despite being an established boys name, it doesn't sound wrong as a girls name.

OP ignore the unkindness. Someone said my previous post sounded angry - to be honest the unkindness on this thread it does make me a little bit angry. A couple of relatives made silly comments about the name we chose for our son and I remember it made me feel shit at the time - that early postnatal stage can be a really sensitive time and not nice hearing inconsiderate remarks from people, even strangers on MN.

In real life most people will probably just think "hmm that's unusual!" and swiftly move on - nothing wrong with that! No worse than people hearing the name Amelia and thinking "that's a common one..." or any other irrelevant little judgements people make every day.

Oh, and just to add some positivity I should add that I really like the name and it's perfect for a unique little girl - best of all she won't have the same name as 10 other little girls in her class

OP - I'm so sorry about your mum. Life is so completely unfair sometimes.

you sound lovely, and so does your daughter, and I wish you happiness xx

My daughter is Lucia...which i have found to be very unique. Luca however is quite a well used name where we live (for boys). Sorry probably not being helpful really!

OP so glad you are keeping it beautiful name. Not boys name or girls name just a name.

it's perfect for a unique little girl - best of all she won't have the same name as 10 other little girls in her class smile

No, she'll have the same name as 10 little boys instead

How the word unique is abused

*Luca is a very feminine sounding boys name to British ears

The statistics prove that statement wrong. Luca is a top 50 name for boys. Only a handful of girls called Luca.*

So, the fact that there ARE a handful of girls called Luca would identify that in Britain, Luca is - NOW - officially a recognised girls' name. So you're right; the statistics don't lie. It is both a girls and boys name here in the UK - that is a statement of fact based on the stats.

Phew! Glad we got that cleared up.

*Luca is a very feminine sounding boys name to British ears

The statistics prove that statement wrong. Luca is a top 50 name for boys. Only a handful of girls called Luca.*

Completely in agreement. I, and other posters, have mentioned it, and similar points, several times, it never quite sinks in.

So, the fact that there ARE a handful of girls called Luca would identify that in Britain, Luca is - NOW - officially a recognised girls' name. So you're right; the statistics don't lie. It is both a girls and boys name here in the UK - that is a statement of fact based on the stats.

Notsosure, by name and nature Some of us quoted and commented on the stats etc way up thread, do try to keep up. Shouting in caps won't help. The numbers have also gone down, and there are more spelling mistakes also registered of other 'normal' names. I would suspect most of these have been registered in ignorance.