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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

591 replies

Truntscump · 27/01/2017 17:12

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

OP posts:
TurquoiseDress · 28/01/2017 20:15

Oh the name Gertie is so cute...wasn't that the little girl in ET?

TheFirstMrsDV · 28/01/2017 20:20

adnerb are you also astonished that I, the mother of a child killed by Leukemia, didn't make the connection either?

So little did I connect the two that I had the name on my short list for my DC4 a year after DD's death.

Confused
greeeen · 28/01/2017 20:24

I love that for a girl. It sounds like you have decided to keep it from your last post, really hope you do.

Chickoletta · 28/01/2017 20:25

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your Gran's. I do see her point and, whilst she probably never should have said what she said, you won't forget it now.

Luca was on my boys' names list.

In your position I'd be changing it to Lucia or Lucy - it keeps the beautiful light imagery.

scottishdiem · 28/01/2017 20:26
  1. Congrats on your new baby girl.
  2. I am sorry for the loss of your mum.
  3. Yes the filthy luca/lucra thing might crop up but no more for boys who are called that. My new (Italian male) neighbour is called Luca.
  4. Its a boys name but there are girls out there called that. Just be aware that correspondence (emails in the future, whatever they become) will make people assume its a boy. Teachers will also be surprised. Be prepared for questions from your girl about why you gave her a boys name.
  5. Your gran didnt need to say that and it was harsh. It time, that connection will lessen but perhaps for a while call her middle name as well - Luca Rose. I think that would be a lovely name.
CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 28/01/2017 20:29

Luca or Luka.....it's a beautiful name and rest of the world can darn well accept it.

Plus.....your dc is already famous!

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 20:29

Actually in the UK and in other places the letter "a" at the end of a name feminises it. My name has an "a" ending

And this is probably what makes some people think this could be a feminine name. But it isn't, and its probably the most common Italian boys name in the UK, its not unknown to most British people. Almost everyone you meet will know you have given your DD a boys name, and wonder why.

And of course, you can do that, your kid your choice. I personally wouldn't saddle a girl with having to explain it for their entire life, but some parents don't seem to bother about the fact that its the kids name, not theirs to use forever.

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:30

"notsurehowtodothis

Cara and reuset please stop it.

PS. Cara - thanks for implying the names Mavis and Gertie are owned by shitbags. angry"

Oh "shitbags"? How charming.

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:33

"NarkyMcDinkyChops"

People can change their names, if they choose to change to do so.

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:34

Argh.

People can change their names, if they choose to do so.

notsurehowtodothis · 28/01/2017 20:40

*Argh.

People can change their names, if they choose to do so.*

Indeed. Perhaps the 'un-delightfully' named Mavises and Gerties of this world you slighted will do just that.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 20:41

People can change their names, if they choose to change to do so

Of course they can. But thats not really the point is it? Did you name your children thinking "Hey, there is a good chance this name will piss them off but its ok, they can change it eventually after the years of teasing at school if they like!"?

Adnerb95 · 28/01/2017 20:42

notsure

The syllable "Luc" in Luca is EXACTLY the same sound as the syllable "Leuk" in Leukaemia.

Unless you are pronouncing it incorrectly.

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:42

Surely no one is called Mavis or Gertie in the 21st Century!? Any worries about poor old Moxie Crimefighter's feelings??!

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2017 20:42

Gosh,this isn't good, are people having a laugh at the ops expensive,

Kelly, if you're serious, please research your name more,

i'd be telling granny that she won't be around much longer so may as well get used to it! Another contender for the award mentioned above! "Hey grieving granny, I don't care what you think because you'll be dead soon

notsurehowtodothis · 28/01/2017 20:45

Surely no one is called Mavis or Gertie in the 21st Century!? Any worries about poor old Moxie Crimefighter's feelings??!

Fuck no to old MC. My bad Wink

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:45

"Adnerb95

notsure

The syllable "Luc" in Luca is EXACTLY the same sound as the syllable "Leuk" in Leukaemia.

Unless you are pronouncing it incorrectly."

Good grief.

KayTee87 · 28/01/2017 20:45

I'm sorry for your loss op and congratulations on your baby.

I feel that Luca is a boys name, Lucia is lovely. Luca-Rose sounds nice when you say it together as a hyphenated first name rather than middle name.

Luca is a girls name in Hungary but it's not pronounced the same (unless that is how you're pronouncing it).

Adnerb95 · 28/01/2017 20:45

TheFirst I am glad you didn't make the association but I immediately did on reading this post and more importantly the grandmother also did which is the important thing. Although apparently her feelings don't count for much with some PPs.

CaraAspen · 28/01/2017 20:46

"notsurehowtodothis

Surely no one is called Mavis or Gertie in the 21st Century!? Any worries about poor old Moxie Crimefighter's feelings??!

Fuck no to old MC. My bad wink"

Yo bro.Wink

reuset · 28/01/2017 20:58

Surely no one is called Mavis or Gertie in the 21st Century!?

Well of course they are. Those who used them when they were more fashionable last century and the small number who still register those names today.

snowone · 28/01/2017 21:02

Hey OP,
Please please please ignore all of the small minded people above!! ^^

Luca is a lovely name for a girl, I really like it! I also really like Noa for a girl as well as Morgan and lots of other traditionally male names!! It's got sweet FA to do with anyone else!! Unfortunately you can't please everyone......but you can ignore them!! WinkWinkWink

mydietstartsmonday · 28/01/2017 21:07

This week I know who babies born called Luca and Lucas, beautiful names, so ignore everything Luca for a girl is lovely.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 21:09

Please please please ignore all of the small minded people above!!

It's small minded of OP to NOT know that she has used a boys name, and expecting everyone else not to know this too. If you want to pick a boys name for a girl, do it, but own it, don't pretend its other people being silly and its a normal girls name. It doesn't work like that!

reuset · 28/01/2017 21:13

It's small minded of OP to NOT know that she has used a boys name, and expecting everyone else not to know this too. If you want to pick a boys name for a girl, do it, but own it, don't pretend its other people being silly and its a normal girls name. It doesn't work like that!

This^

I can't believe some of the bright sparks saying 'it's lovely for a girl, hun xx' Grin Hilarious

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