To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

[Truntscump]

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

I love it

the likelihood is that your daughter will grow into what is actually a lovely name

Actually, the likelihood is that she will grow increasingly pissed off at explaining that yes, she knows it's a boys name and that no, she has no idea why her parents gave it to her other than"because they liked it"

I've had similar explanations my whole life.

The main thing though is that Luca now has associations with the OP's mother's leukaemia for both her and her grandmother.

Lucca and Luca are practically the same! It's a beautiful name and unusual. You'll spell it out for people a few times, but who cares! Better to be unique xx

The Suzanne vega song is definitely about a little boy she knew in real life, called, well, luka, obviously.

I still stick to my stance that there is no such thing as a girls/boys name.

It's a beautiful name and unusual. You'll spell it out for people a few times, but who cares! Better to be unique xx

It's not unusual. 1167 boys were named Luca in the last stats release. People know how to spell it, presumably.

And I think you need to rethink your use of the word unique because it's far from being unique.

Compared to 11 girls, as I think Bert quoted.

Your choice of course but I wouldn't call my daughter Luca - she will get teased about this when she reaches her teens, someone will call her "filthy Luca" because bullies will pick up on anything they can use as ammunition. I think the leukaemia link is unfortunate - I had never thought of that before with the name "Luca" but certainly that is the first thing that springs to mind when I hear the name "Luke".

FWIW I think Luca is a lovely name for your DD (and congratulations BTW!).

My name's Kelly, which was historically a boys name. There are so many names now that used to be exclusively male but now aren't - Robin, Reece, Lesley, etc. I don't think you should worry at all about that aspect.

As for the dirty lucre - it's a saying! So it sounds similar, so what?! Kelly rhymes with so many unattractive words but I've not had a problem with that over the years.

OP, the name you've chosen is beautiful.

My name's Kelly, which was historically a boys name. There are so many names now that used to be exclusively male but now aren't - Robin, Reece, Lesley, etc. I don't think you should worry at all about that aspect.

How is that example helpful? Kelly wasn't used with any great popularity for boys anyway. Unlike Luca. Read the thread!

The handful of baby girls registered as 'Luca' each year (and I'm convinced the parents are back to the register office quick smart once the mistake is realised) are probably registered in ignorance. There are more girls registered with the spelling mistake Pheobe, just one example of many, than Luca for a girl, just to put it into perspective.

And yes, the associations for the OP and grandmother should be considered.

Luca is a boy's name imo I would assume the child was a boy if I hadn't met them.

Kelly wasn't historically a boys name; it was just a surname. There may have been the occasional boy called Kelly, but can't say I've met one. OTOH, Luca has been a top 50 boys name for the last 5 years. Bear in mind that the small number of girls registered as Luca may be from an east European background where it is a girls name.

I'm 27 and have never heard of that phrase. It doesn't even sound familiar and I'm usually pretty knowledgeable about sayings and idioms etc.

I also don't think it matters that's it's a boys name. Why does it even matter if a girl has a boys name? There are loads of supposedly "unisex" names that people primarily associate with boys when you first hear it Charlie, Alex, Jo, etc. I know a girl toddler whose middle name is Luca.

And the Leukaemia thing is just ridiculous. That's like saying you shouldnt name your child Arthur because it sounds like Arthritis!

Seriously I think it's incredibly rude to complain or make negative remarks about a baby's name after they're born and named. That is their name now, there should be no question of changing it coming from other people. Even if you named her bloody Adolf, if they don't like it they should just smile and nod and try and get used to it, not make rude upsetting comments!

I'm surprised there are so many negative comments on this thread. In the case of baby names, when the baby has already been born and has a name, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

You sound angry, Mamushka

There are loads of supposedly "unisex" names that people primarily associate with boys when you first hear it Charlie, Alex, Jo, etc.

Unlike Luca, which is not (nor heading that way looking at the stats).

It's a lovely name I think you should keep the name and tell granny to shut up and put up its your child and your choice of name it has bugger all to do with granny what name you choose.

Mamushka tos is not a random person making a negative comment about the name, it is a grieving close relative who has said that for her it has associations with her daughter's fatal illness. How utterly cruel to dismiss that as nonsense! It would not matter if Granny had said "Don't call her Daisy that reminds me of cancer" due to some association that exists only in her mind and is unfathomable to anyone else the fact is that she has expressed this concern and the OP rightly does not want to see her more upset, but needs to reconcile this with her love of the name.

Tos = this

...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

That would rather defeat the object of AIBU!

Wow peanut you sound lovely and empathetic towards the grieving.

e and tell granny to shut up and put up its your child and your choice of name it has bugger all to do with granny what name you choose

Yes, tell 96 year old granny whose daughter just died of cancer to shut the fuck up, cos noone cares what she thinks of anything.

Just when you think people on aibu can't any more cunty, they do! amazing.

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP

Luca is regarded as a boys' name though. Just because it's female in Croatia and Hungary, it's not relevant as the OP isn't using that pronunciation.

I don't think the average person would make the lucre or the leukaemia connection,
so I wouldn't worry about that.

Luna would be a nice name, also with some light-related meaning? Luna Rose sounds lovely.

I do feel for you OP, but I think her name is spoilt for you now and I would change it to Lucia or Luna. My DS had a Welsh boys name that is spelt differently but sounds the same as an English girls name. Despite being Welsh and living in Wales he had a lot of stick in school.