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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish people were more positive about my baby's name? <kind of serious>

591 replies

Truntscump · 27/01/2017 17:12

DH & I loved the name Luca for a girl throughout my pregnancy. I know it's generally used as a boy's name especially in Italy but her middle name is Rose and I love that it means 'light'.

Anyway, my dear mum very sadly died last summer of Leukaemia and my (usually lovely) Granny (aged 96 and grieving) first said that Luca reminds her of the phrase 'dirty Luca' then a week later she asked if it was too late to change the name beaches it reminds her of Leukaemia.

I was so upset, my baby (3 weeks old) really suits her name and I love that it's a bit different but now I can't stop thinking about the link to Leukaemia :(

OP posts:

notsurehowtodothis · 28/01/2017 10:53

Acceptable? Not so much

Maybe not to you. But that doesn't mean they aren't names boys/men have.

Whatssheonaboutnow · 28/01/2017 10:54

OP - I'm Italian/Spanish. My brother and nephew are both Luca. It is 100 per cent a masculine name in Italy. It would be like an Italian mother calling her daughter Richard or something.
Also to a Spanish ear, Luca sounds odd for a girl and the Spanish speaking world is huge. Here in the U.K. the name is no longer considered unusual. My DC have English friends called Luca, but they are all boys.
I agree that the name has a beautiful meaning - but you also have Lucia (Loo-sia or Loo-chia), Luciana or Luz, all with the same meaning.
Your DD may one day live in Italy or a Spanish-speaking country. One of my sons is Andre -I would not have called him Andrea as in Italian because in the U.K. and U.S it's a girls' name and why put him through that? Andre still fine in Italy too.
Luca is used for girls in Croatia, but pronounced differently as Loo-tsa, so like Lucy basically.
Please bear in mind that your daughter may not always remain in the UK.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 11:05

If OP just spelled it Lucha, wouldn't that get rid of it seeming same as the boy's name. Not sure OP is using pronunciation with CH sound

How on earth can you get CH from Luca? You can't, in either English or Italian. If you spell is Lucha and you're in England, everyone would say lu-cha (because that is what it says). Also, that's not a name.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 11:09

Oh give over. As I said in my PP I know a 12yo girl Luca. AFAIK her name hasn't impacted on her future. How ridiculous!

I guarantee you she is already sick to death of people saying "isn't that a boys name" either to her or about her, every single time she tells anyone her name. I guarantee she is sick already of turning up to things shes got her name down for and being told "oh, we thought you'd be a boy"" and so on.
And she's going to have to put up with it forever. Why would you do that to someone?

Laquila · 28/01/2017 11:09

This had probably been said upthread, but isn't there a pretty badass female lawyer in The Good Wife called Luca? Doesn't seem to have held her back. (I know she's fictional, but hey ho.)

I think everyone on this thread can agree that Luca, spelt this way, is primarily used for boys, but that doesn't mean that it's never been used for girls or that it definitively never should. In the U.K. you're allowed to choose, within reason, your baby's name from whatever pool you like, and the likelihood is that your daughter will grow into what is actually a lovely name, and one that sounds a lot more feminine than some traditionally female names.

Good luck making a decision.

reuset · 28/01/2017 11:14

Maybe not to you. But that doesn't mean they aren't names boys/men have.

No, not to me. I prefer dealing with fact than opinion. I was looking statistically. They simply aren't used for boys nowadays. And I've already said that!

BertrandRussell · 28/01/2017 11:18

Anyone who knows a girl Luca is incredibly lucky. There were 11 baby girls called Luca in the U.K. last year, and that was the highest number ever.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 11:18

This had probably been said upthread, but isn't there a pretty badass female lawyer in The Good Wife called Luca? Doesn't seem to have held her back

No. She's called Lucca, named after the city. Not the same at all.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 11:19

In the U.K. you're allowed to choose, within reason, your baby's name from whatever pool you like, and the likelihood is that your daughter will grow into what is actually a lovely name

Sure you are, but if I told you my dd was named Robert John, you wouldn't say: oh what a pretty girls name!

reuset · 28/01/2017 11:22

Anyone who knows a girl Luca is incredibly lucky. There were 11 baby girls called Luca in the U.K. last year, and that was the highest number ever.

user1471518636 · 28/01/2017 11:22

OP, it is a boys name, just be prepared to explain it to people/school etc as she grows up. However if you're happy with it then that's good although you must have known when you chose it that may get some negative responses!

nolongersurprised · 28/01/2017 11:28

I wouldn't do it, I'd be worried that everyone would think that I genuinely didn't know it was a boy's name and I'm vain enough to be bothered by stuff like that.

And I think Lucy/Lucia are better alternatives.

BertrandRussell · 28/01/2017 11:30

But the significant point here is not the name, but the fact that it has unhappy associations for a woman who has recently lost her daughter. And those unhappy associations are now in the op's mind too. They may fade with time, but they also may not. And she may find herself regretting making her grandmother even more unhappy.

Writerwannabe83 · 28/01/2017 11:31

Sure you are, but if I told you my dd was named Robert John, you wouldn't say: oh what a pretty girls name!

This made me laugh out loud

Cocolepew · 28/01/2017 11:34

Luca in The Good Wife was female. I think it's lovely.
Why does it matter that's its a boys name in Italy?

Whatssheonaboutnow · 28/01/2017 11:47

OP - sorry but if your DD ever marries an Italian, he will have a wife with a man's name.
Also, the pairing of a well-known masculine name with "Rose" just doesn't really work, in the same way as Robert Lily, Stephen Peony or James Marigold would sound odd to an English person. Sorry to say this, but I think if you were 100 per cent sure on the name you wouldn't have asked about it on AIBU.

Lucia Rose? Luciana Rose? Both equally beautiful, I think.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 28/01/2017 11:50

Luca in The Good Wife was female. I think it's lovely

as said, Lucca in the GW was female. It's not the same name.

Why does it matter that's its a boys name in Italy?

It's also a boys name in the UK, is why it matters.

Cocolepew · 28/01/2017 12:24

No it really doesn't.

reuset · 28/01/2017 12:34

No it really doesn't.

What sort of argument is that? Unless you can tell us why not...

PacificDogwod · 28/01/2017 12:36

Ok, so it would be fair to say that 'Luca' being generally recognised as a boy's name matters to some and not to others

All I can say is that it is a lovely sounding word, it's not 'Balonz' , and, OP, you should do whatever you think is right after reading all the manifold opinions on here.

Not our baby, not our choice IMO.

Cocolepew · 28/01/2017 12:40

Cos.

Cocolepew · 28/01/2017 12:40

MontePulciana · 28/01/2017 12:46

We're UK based and my little boy luca has a boys name. That's it. Just because some dear old ladies think because it has an A at end it should be a girls name is meaningless. Luca was a doctor on ER. A gangster on the Godfather. Numerous Italian footballers. It's a boys name.

MuMuMuuuum · 28/01/2017 12:49

It's a beautiful name.

Sorry for your loss

reuset · 28/01/2017 12:49

Cos*

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