Should I be raging now? Or wait till I speak to the teacher?

[HalfwayToFifty]

4yo DS goes to preschool Tuesdays and Thursdays. He takes packed lunch of ham sandwich, brioche, 2 small yogurts, satsuma and grapes. He usually eats the lot. If he leaves anything it's the satsuma. Today all that had gone was his sandwich. He said 'xxxxx told me I had to put it away' I asked if he was still hungry to which he replied 'yes' I think I should hear the other side but I just feel angry he wasn't allowed to finish his lunch! He's had an issue with being frightened to ask for the toilet whilst there which appeared to be resolved. Today I went to get him dressed after school and he was soaked. A 30 minute walk home in this weather, soaked. He's also a nervous nail biter and has been doing this this evening.
He was on the verge of tears all the way home but didn't want to tell me why. Should I be angry without speaking to the teacher first? I hate to see him the way he was today!

Would it be possible for him to just take himself to the loo or have a visual on a card to give to the teacher or something? I'm pretty sure my kids didn't need to ask to go to the toilet in preschool - they just went.

mellowfartfulness you have put my mind at rest knowing that things may turn out different for him. And you right I'm well equipped to spot and deal with bullying. Sorry you had a shit type experience with bullies too. I would have loved school if it wasn't for being bullied and would probably be much more confident in this situation now.

Shitty not shit type ^

bumsexatthebingo from what I know they have a designated toilet taker. The toilets are at the opposite end of the primary school ( daft, I know) I don't know about other 4yos but mine would most definatly get distracted and not make it back

Oh. That's a bit of a faff isn't it? My 7 year old certainly wouldn't make it back if he had to go that far!

Sorry I miss understood

You say he loves going. Would it help if you increased his days? Thursday to next Tuesday is a long long time for a pre school 4 year old. Maybe it would help him get more in the swing with it all. Also maybe build friendships.

You obviously had a bad time at school op but can you try and step back & not assume he will have the same issues. I think you need to ask the question of school re what happened at lunchtime & ask them to remind dc to use the toilet but is there a reason he didn't tell you he was wet? I would very gently try to work on that part myself.

If other family members are putting pressure on him I would say it's you & dh's role to put a stop to that. You may need to plan a strategy for doing that. My dm has a habit of criticising ds and it drives me nuts but I have spoken to her about it several times to no effect so this year I am taking a different approach & so far it seems to be working. I have to be on the ball more when we're with her but he's only 4 so I see it as my job. X

I've come to conclusion there's more to this from him. I think it's been a case of 'if your not eating it put it away' he's not touched any breakfast again this morning so could be starting with something.

what did they say op

It's a shame a 4 yr old has to ask to use the toilet. I can imagine many wouldn't. Most pre schools asked reception the kids just go into the toilets on their own and they are very close.