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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask DH to book his family on premium economy

91 replies

bawabod · 25/01/2017 16:06

My DH went on holiday with a friend last year and his friend booked premium economy seats for what is about approx an 8hr flight. DH and his friend will doing the same trip earlier this year and will be booking the premium economy seats We as a family are due to go on holiday to the same place and I have asked will he book us all including my 2DC on premium economy seats as my tall teenage son particularly finds it uncomfortable in economy my DH has said he will for me and the DC but he will book an economy class for himself I am disappointed that he will travel with his friend in premium but not us is he being unreasonable or am I ? I have a good mind to just say ok I will go with that.

OP posts:
kilmuir · 25/01/2017 18:27

He said he would pay for you and DC ( who are young adults!) to go PE. Let him sit in economy . What's the big deal

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 25/01/2017 18:31

He said he would pay for you and DC ( who are young adults!) to go PE. Let him sit in economy . What's the big deal

I agree.

Jux · 25/01/2017 18:34

Are they his children?

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 25/01/2017 23:26

he can't pay for his family to go PE on holiday.......but there's always money to pay for his annual boys trip!

hopelesslycynical · 26/01/2017 01:06

CouldntMakeThisShitUp He's trying to make you feel bad/guilty so in future you won't even bother to ask about PE seating - because it means he won't sit with you. You don't know that. You say he works hard and therefore you don't begrudge him his lads holidays. What about you? You work hard raising your kids, running the household etc. You don't know that either! For all you know the OP may be a dreadful slob, sitting in squalor, drinking gin, while the kids run riot. Equally, she may be a 'lady who lunches', with an au pair and a cleaner to do the grunt work. You're just projecting.
OP, if you're that bothered, why not talk to him, and ask him why he doesn't want to fly premium economy, and sort it between you, rather than get advice from the usual unhinged posters who will take an odd situation and run with it until they convince themselves you're an oppressed and downtrodden housewife in an emotionally abusive relationship.

ApplePaltrow21 · 26/01/2017 01:10

Flying with kids means flying at holiday time. Flights and upgrades could be much more expensive than going with his friend.

Also, you seem sure that he's being stingy. Are you absolutely sure of your financial status?

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 26/01/2017 01:14

hopelesslycynical

I used the info OP provided and my own life experience to give her my take on the situation.

I don't know why you've got your ants in your pants Hmm

The rest of us 'unhinged' posters have read the thread - perhaps you should RTFT, especially the bit where OP says he is the breadwinner and I feel he is being mean but I think he is hoping I will be reasonable and give in to us all going economy

you definitely suit your username!

Butterymuffin · 26/01/2017 01:21

If there's money to pay for a lads' holiday Hmm AND a family holiday to the Caribbean then frankly it's pointless economising on one less upgraded seat. Tell him that and say is he sure. If he still says he is, then take him at his word.

NeedaFanjob · 26/01/2017 01:54

I think he went PE with his friend because there was only the cost of one. Paying for a family of 4 makes the cost FOUR times more expensive. I think he is sitting in economy because of the cost. He may well hope you move back there with him so that its only twice the PE price and not 4 times the price. Being able to pay for seats in PE with a credit card may seem easy but it's still a major expenditure.

EmeraldScorn · 26/01/2017 02:01

So he's going away with his friend on a separate holiday and flying premium but for the family holiday with you and his children he is flying economy while the rest of you fly premium.... Yeah it sounds like he's trying to guilt trip you into changing your mind about flying premium.

He doesn't want to spend the money but he is happy to spend it when it comes to a lads' holiday. He wants you to give in and say "OK we'll all fly economy".

That's my opinion anyway!

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/01/2017 02:50

He knows that he cant say not to PE when he upgraded on an already expensive lads trip. So he is trying to guilt you into downgrading.

He could have said to his mate that he would rather not fly premium but he didnt did he? They flew PE together, presumably as he viewed that as part of the holiday, instead of him flying economy on his own. Yet he will happily either fly seperately to his wife and kids to prove a point or downgrade you all.

It all points to him caring far more about his trip with his friend than his holiday with his family. Mean people are never just mean with money........

scottishdiem · 26/01/2017 03:22

Interestingly I think he is being slightly unreasonable not to upgrade himself as he is doing it for everyone else. I also think you are being slightly unreasonable for being so vexed by it.

I sometimes think on here people (usually men obv given the nature of the site) cannot win. If he hadn't upgraded anyone he would be criticised for doing things differently on his own trips. If he had upgraded everyone no doubt something else would have been wrong (possibly OP practicing economy at home so why should economy not be practiced when on holiday). Here we have someone buying something for their family and being criticised for not buying enough of it.

Why cant some people realise that a holiday in the Caribbean is out of reach of many, that upgraded seats can be out of the reach of others. Why must people look to be upset even before the holiday starts. Goodness knows what will happen if the OP DH buys local branded drinks for himself and branded for the rest of the family.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 26/01/2017 04:40

This is such a non-issue! He clearly doesn't feel the money is worth it for a bit of extra leg room, that or he can't afford it after paying out for you and the kids. As PP have said, due to the flight layout you won't all sit together in PE anyway so I really can't see what the issue is?!

As an aside, is it just my parents who didn't still take us on holiday with them when we were 18?! I am impressed they like you enough to come! 😂😂

abbrev · 26/01/2017 06:41

I genuinely don't understand how your DH is the bad person here.

Your teenage son would benefit from the extra leg room. You and your other chld like the idea. You DH was more than happy for the three of you to fly in PE. I haven't read he's being passive-aggressive or sulking or anything else. It would be different if you had two children who needed entertainment and he was trading leg room for peace and quiet (I once did this with DH for flying business... he had the 5 and 3 year old!)

As it is though, how the actual fuck has he done anything wrong? The poor bugger couldn't win!

Harshbuttrue swung a little below the belt with the 'why don't you work' comment, but the rest was bang on. If his downgrade pays for his 'lads holiday' then it seems fair enough to me.

IMO, PE isn't worth it. Economy or business. One day I'll fly 1st [sighs wistfully]

celtiethree · 26/01/2017 06:52

Feel sorry for the poor bloke you asked for PE for you and your DC and this is what he has done. If he'd booked PE for himself and put you in economy then you'd have something to complain about.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/01/2017 07:07

If your kids are 18 and 16, get a job and then you can all fly Premium Economy without worrying so much about the cost.

Mindtrope · 26/01/2017 07:30

OP is your oh so controlling in other areas of life?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 26/01/2017 07:44

controlling? Confused

Jesus wept! 😂

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/01/2017 07:45

How about booking economy but paying for the additional legrooom seats (front row of each block)? We did that last year and had more legroom than those in PE.

skippy67 · 26/01/2017 07:45

How is he being controlling? OP asked him to upgrade her and the "kids" to PE. He did. Op is the one trying to dictate where he sits on the plane. Don't know why it's such a big deal. Let him sit where he wants. It's not like he'll be staying in a different hotel once they get there.

sonjadog · 26/01/2017 07:53

I don't see the problem. You asked to update - he upgraded you. He doesn't see the need, so is sitting in economy. Presumably he doesn't see the need for the extra expense when he doesn't care where he sits. Where he is sitting on the trip with his friend seems irrelevant to me. On that trip is only paying for one person, not four, which makes a whole lot of difference to the price. I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here.

TweedAddict · 26/01/2017 08:00

What's wrong with the kids sitting in economy and the adults in premium. Surely that's the right way to do it.
It's a bit like a kid sitting in a adult seat really? They are far old enough to sort them selves out.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/01/2017 08:04

OP is your oh so controlling in other areas of life?

Jeez how on earth is he controlling.Hmm

Reality16 · 26/01/2017 08:06

Can you clarify OP please. Is the holiday with your family the SAME one with his friend which means he will be sat with a friend and not you, or are they 2 separate holidays?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/01/2017 08:07

Can you clarify OP please. Is the holiday with your family the SAME one with his friend which means he will be sat with a friend and not you, or are they 2 separate holidays?

OP has clarified earlier. The they are two separate holidays.

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