Floods of tears

[cathf]

How many times have I read that phrase since I started perusing the Mumsnet boards?
I'm sat here in floods of tears...
I couldn't stop crying
I'm sobbing
He's making me cry
I burst into tears
Do we want to be treated like grown-ups or like little girls?
Difficult to articulate what I mean and why I find it so annoying, but I think it boils down to women demanding equality (and rightly so) but collapsing into pathetic wrecks when the going gets tough, and expecting sympathy by crying.
Does anyone else know what I mean?

What judgemental nonsense OP!

This is the most positive supportive thread of the day (only to be out-lovelies by the current Zombie-threads!)

Nice that MNers are a compassionate bunch!

Maybe we ought to be naice to the OP as well

#GroupHugDay

I can sob uncontrollably with snot running out my nose whilst typing. I call it multi tasking

I do prefer to laugh than cry as crying brings me no joy whatsoever. I am a secret crier away from public glare but on the odd times it has happened I've felt like a sad zap.

But always good to know who you can turn to during those tearful moments

So is it generally considered that the fight for equality can only be won by women being more like men?

Is there no room or possibility of men becoming more like women?

Crying is a better response to stress than stomping around yelling at people. I would love it if more people in my place of work would take the crying route to letting their emotions out! It is only seen as weak and unprofessional because women are seen as weak and unprofessional.....

what a stupid comment OP you are clearly very cold and unsensitive, Trying walking a mile in someone elses shoes then judge again. there is absolutely nothing wrong in showing feelings,

Do we want to be treated like grown-ups or like little girls?

my DS (male) was in FLOODS pf tears because he lost a beard game last night. Boys cry too.

I wish men could cry a but more TBH

and what, we cant cry? that's somewhat arbitrary!

It's not healthy to keep it in at all!

My DH starts crying at the tiniest thing on TV. He just wells up at anything vaguely emotional. Well, I say DH. Clearly he's a little girl. He'll be demanding equality and all sorts next.

I never cried as a child. I wasn't permitted to so learnt to turn those emotions off. Worked well, made me look strong hard faced until the shell cracked and I had a break down in my 20s and tried to kill myself. The genie was out if the bottle, but by fuck I feel a lot healthier for it.

Don't you fucking tell women that they are weak or unequal because they cry, when the male suicide rate is so high, in part because men don't want to appear weak by talking about how they're struggling. I would call you a dick, but I know MNHQ frown on personal attacks.

I have had it used against me in my past by my ex - I wasn't allowed to get upset. If when I did he used to say stuff like "if you start crying I am going to get annoyed."

Eventually he killed off any feelings I had for him and I could discuss our divorce using cold, hard logic - funny thing is, he didn't like that either and he still got annoyed.

There is just no pleasing some people.

No, I am not flouncing.
I am accepting that IABU unreasonable - as stated above - and have said that I don't want to get embroiled in a feminism thread, as that looks to be the direction the thread is heading.
I don't think that is flouncing, is it??

Yeah, It does mean you're flouncing. If you don't like the direction your thread is taking, then change it, don't just throw your hands in the air and say "sod it, I'm off"

In answer to your OP-thankfully, we are all individuals, we all deal with situations in different ways. Some of us cry, some don't. A lot of it is down to the way we are hard wired to react. When I get to the point where I am boiling, fizzing angry, I cry. It's my body's natural steam release valve. I don't do it to gain sympathy, I can't stop it happening. And you're damn straight I demand equality.

If someone, man or woman, has ended up Ina situation that makes them cry then they have a bloody right to cry. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that things are particularly shitty for them.

Op if you didn't want this to be a thread about equality, why did you specifically reference and discuss it in your op??

Men keep it in, and commit suicide in higher numbers.

I love a good cry. I watched a compilation of Try Not To Cry videos last night because I needed a good sob. Did the trick and I felt much better afterwards :)

I feel sorry for people - man or woman - who feel afraid to show their emotions.

I've interpreted the OP's post in this way:

Some women do turn on the waterworks in order to get their own way. The women I know that have done it have been raised to believe they are daddy's princess. They have been taught that if they stick out their pet lips and talk in a silly goo-goo voice and look under their eyes, they'll get what they want.

Thing is, this is social conditioning. This comes from the misogynistic attitude that that a woman should use her 'wiles' to get what she wants. She cannot be direct, assertive. She must be cunning and manipulative.

If this is what you meant OP, then YANBU.

FWIW, I cry a lot but never in front of others because I was brought up to believe it was wrong and weak to cry. I find that it's hard to let to of that.

Those phrases have been taken out of context. What happened to make these people cry? It might have been a history of nasty behaviour that had worn them down.

So you directly talk about feminism - "but I think it boils down to women demanding equality (and rightly so)" but then flounce because people then talk about feminism?

my DS (male) was in FLOODS pf tears because he lost a beard game last night

stealth boast at hipster son

Equality means suppressing your emotions, sure.

Crying to manipulate is bad.
Crying because you have to is good.

I agree with the above. Also people don't truly cry for the sheer thrill of it all. Who wants to sit with snot and salt water dripping off their face while making a noise like an asthmatic walrus? Obviously I am leaving out those who let a diamond like tear escape while sniffing prettily to get sympathy. Sometimes people have to cry, just like they sometimes have to laugh and can't control it. Have you never laughed to the point you thought you were going to stop breathing and you can not stop?

Most women I have come across who are crying are either doing it because they have suffered something truly tragic, or because they are frustrated and the alternative would be to punch a hole through someone's chest. I have worked with someone who used to cry all through her appraisals to try and divert attention from her deficiencies. It worked with the male boss, the female team leader just handed her a tissue and carried on regardless. Now that sort of crying is pathetic.

Bottling up my emotions and not crying/letting it out has led to me having 2 breakdowns. I felt bloody weak after my breakdowns and I hope I never ever feel that weak and bad and lost again.
I let myself cry when I need to and try hard not to bottle it all up. Releasing tension is a good thing for a human being. It keeps us functioning and going on even when life is hard.
Crying is never a weakness or a failing. Using tears to emotionally manipulate people is.

I’m male, I’ve been known to cry.