OK, I shouldn't have done it but I looked at DHs phone. I did it because I felt he was keeping me at a distance and I was looking for an explanation - not cool, I know.
So, his DD hates me. I was never the OW and she's a fully grown adult just pouting that daddy gives someone else attention.
When I thought everything was okay with her, she asked to loan some money. DH didn't have it so I gave it to her. It's not much, a few hundred quid. She never returned it so after 2 years, I emailed her to ask could she return it, knowing by then how much she detested me. I was really embarrassed and nervous about asking for it but I lost my job a few months ago and really needed it.
Back to DHs phone. Message from her to him:
"Tell that thing you live with to get off her fat lazy arse and get a job. She's just sponging off you. You're putting a roof over their head and feeding them ......"
Message from him to her:
"We've had words about it. Try not to let yourself get angry. I offered her the money myself but she wouldn't take it".
I feel betrayed on two counts. Firstly his response to her very offensive comment and secondly because I put a roof over our head and fed us for 5 years before I lost my job and after that I've had to cajole, persuade, and basically beg him to get out to work as I can't do it anymore.
Feel really hurt and humiliated and don't know whether I'll be able to keep a lid on it or cause one almighty row when he gets in from work.