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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this inheritance split is not fair?

438 replies

Big8 · 24/01/2017 12:25

Ok, firstly I know I should be grateful to be getting anything from my grandparents. And I am. But I'm just wondering what the general consensus is on this...

Grandparents have 2 offspring.

Have set aside £x for grandchildren.

There are five grandchildren.

My father has 4. His sister has 1.

Now rather than the £x being split into 5 equal portions for us all

Half of £x goes to Aunts child.
Half goes to my dad's children to be divided between 4.

So say it's £1000

Cousin gets £500.

We get £125 each.

What do you think of that?

OP posts:
Verbena37 · 25/01/2017 18:39

I think it's is straight forward.
The grandparents split it in half and give to their two children.
The two children can do what they want with the money.
It may be that your dad gives you nothing and their mum gives them it all or vice versa.

If your grandparents wanted to ensure the grandkids get a sum of money each, it would have made better sense to leave each grandchild an equal amount and then divide the rest for their two children.

However, at the end of the day, surely you'd rather your grandparents or parents just spend the money on their own, fulfilling retirement?
I don't want my parents money....I'd rather it go on a nicer old people's home or nice holidays for them now whilst they're well enough to enjoy it.

Verbena37 · 25/01/2017 18:41

If though, the grandparents are only leaving it to the grand children, and bypassing their two children.....then yes, it would be more fair if the sums were equal per grandchild.

vickiemother · 25/01/2017 18:48

I totally get what you mean. I've not read all the replies (only the first page) but the replies I saw seemed to indicate you're money grabbing and ungrateful but I don't think that's how it is. I see what you mean about it being hurtful that one grandchild is left more than the others - it's not about the money but the implication of it. When my grandad died he left us all £1000 - there are three children from my dad and two from his sister but we all got the same. I can't therefore understand totally from that side of things where you're coming from. I have similar feelings though in the fact his headstone says Grandpa (which the favoured grandchildren called him) and not grandad that myself and my brothers called him. It just felt a bit of a kick in the teeth as it felt their feelings were more important than ours and I imagine that's similar to how you're feeling xx

IWantATardis · 25/01/2017 18:51

OPs scenario doesn't sound dissimilar to my parents will.

My parents will splits their estate equally between me and my siblings. If any of us pre-decease our parents, then our share is split equally between any surviving issue (legal term for children) that we have. Their solicitor advised not individually naming grandchildren to prevent them inadvertently cutting out any grandchildren born after the will was written.

So. If I had 4 DC, DSis had one DC, and then DSis and I both died before our parents, then my parents estate would be split between grandchildren as described in the OP.

Whether my parents would rewrite their will to split things evenly between all grandchildren in the event of their children pre-deceasing them is another question. Not one I'd really considered.

SlankyBodger · 25/01/2017 18:52

As most people leave their money to their children, divided equally, I'd say that's what they wanted to do.

Maybe your aunt and dad both said they didn't want it and would prefer it to go to you lot, so your gp did it that way, still thinking and wanting to give each child - your aunt and dad - equal amounts.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 25/01/2017 18:53

For the love of everything, cannot people read???

From the op:

(they have) set aside £x for grandchildren

wooo69 · 25/01/2017 18:55

I think this must be fairly common advice given by financial advisors as my brother discussed with my sister and I that as he doesn't have partner/children to leave anything to and he doesn't want to leave money/assets to our parents he has been advised to leave to nieces/nephews. I have two children and my sister has three but my two get 25% each and my sisters three get 16.6% each. This is as my sister and I would get 50% each but as we are both older than he is, he is expecting/hoping to outlive us. We are not talking hundreds of pounds here they will be getting hundreds of thousands each.

dotdotdotmustdash · 25/01/2017 18:56

I think that if the money is being split equally between the first generation (the parents) then it's a fair split. If there's money being split to the next layer (the Grandchildren) then it should also be split fairly as they all have the same relationship to the will-maker, regardless of how many are on each side.

Badgoushk · 25/01/2017 18:59

I actually think it's the fairest way to split it.

Stanleysmum01 · 25/01/2017 19:20

Sorry OP you've not given enough info, just be grateful for anything you may receive and don't read too much into it. Are they still alive and if so you don't know what the future holds all the money may have to be spent on social care and health issues in which case nobody will get anything. Also if this money is set aside for GC perhaps the rest is going to a charitable trust etc, unless you have read the will leave it be. Maybe there are reasons you wouldn't know about, it's only money that you haven't got yet.

Mumtotwobs · 25/01/2017 19:28

I think YAB a bit U and it's definitely not unusual OP and also it is a pretty common practice for gifts to be divided this way in wills. I worked in probate law for many years and it is definitely the more common way we would have drafted it. In fact in the many years I was working we were requested to do this more often than not - even with specific gifts of sums of money to the grandchildren because the people drafting the wills didn't want to appear unfair to each "side" of the family. Most people drafting wills think more to their immediate families and wouldn't want one child or their family not being regarded equally (or one child's family getting say £4,000 more than their siblings family because they had more children).

Besides under an intestacy or if a will didn't leave adequate further provision for whatever reason, that is just how the split would be decided by law.

JigglyTuff · 25/01/2017 19:30

bibbity - just because people disagree with you, it doesn't mean they can't read.

The problem with this is (as others have said) is that if there are further grandchildren, the will has to constantly be amended.

And as someone else has pointed out, if someone dies intestate, their estate is divided equally between their children. Which rather suggests the law thinks that is fair.

steff - this isn't the only thing my friend is upset about but she is most definitely treated as second class in her family. Not just because she's barren but because she's a woman. I'm surprised you can't see why that might be hurtful.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 25/01/2017 19:39

It really does depend how they worded it in their will

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 25/01/2017 19:46

OP. I don't think you are being unreasonable. If the money is left to 2 DC, then of course it should be 50/50, but if it is left directly to grandchildren then it should be in equal ratios as you are leaving it to individuals not to families.

My gran is leaving money to her grandchildren, if there is any left by the time she passes on, and her will is worded that X bank account total is to be divided between the 4 grandchildren, so that is what will happen. There will be no more grandchildren, due to her DC's now being 70 and she herself is 90.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 25/01/2017 19:47

Jiggly, I'm not frustrated because people disagree with me!

I'm frustrated because people keep replying "of course the fairest way is to split it equally between the children".

But that is not op's situation. She is asking about a portion of the will that has been set aside for the grandchildren. The children don't come in to her specific question. This is the way it is in the op, not some hypothetical will where future grandchildren might come along. Since op is presumably an adult, maybe all her cousins are adults too and their parents are too old to have more children? Who knows?

But as it stands, with £x amount set aside for the grandchildren and the amount not being divided equally between the 5 of them it looks unfair.

Ciutadella · 25/01/2017 19:47

"The problem with this is (as others have said) is that if there are further grandchildren, the will has to constantly be amended."

Actually I think you could get round that, by saying something along the lines that you leave £x, to be divided equally between all gc living at the date of your death - I think you can even include those conceived but not yet born! (But I asked above about those gc who are not yet conceived, and come along after gps die, which seems to me a potentially serious drawback.) If you want it divided by 'family' then there is wording for that as well. But obviously that view is all subject to advice from a probate lawyer - I may be wrong!

Shona52 · 25/01/2017 19:47

Can see your point and understand (having recently seen this in family DH family when his grandad past away) but there really isn't anything you can do about it so don't hold any anger over it just use the money in a way you can remember your grandfather in a loving way

SirChenjin · 25/01/2017 19:50

If there are further grandchildren - - in which case it would make much more sense to divide equally amongst the living grandchildren at the time of the grandparents death, and write that into the will.

The other way to look at it is this - it would be unfair (surely) if you had 2 children, one of whom had 5 children and the other had one child, and you divided things up on a pro rata basis i.e. the child with 5 children would get five eighths and the other child would get three eighths. The normal split in this case would be 50/50 because there are 2 children - the split in the OPs case should follow this (i.e. 20/20/20/20/20)

bossyrossy · 25/01/2017 19:51

Your grand parents have divided their estate equally between their two children, immaterial of how many GC each adult child has. This seems fair as what would happen if one of the siblings produced another GC after the GP were deceased? This grandchild would have nothing in your way of reckoning things.

SirChenjin · 25/01/2017 19:51

Bibbity - exactly.

Ciutadella · 25/01/2017 19:53

"There will be no more grandchildren, due to her DC's now being 70 and she herself is 90."

70 yr olds do occasionally have more dc though - but I accept that this is rare!

SirChenjin · 25/01/2017 19:54

Bossy - no they haven't. This money is being split unequally between the grandchildren. It's not going anywhere near the children. It's made very clear in the OP.

JigglyTuff · 25/01/2017 19:55

I suspect we're never going to agree bibbity and SirC but the law's on my side Wink

SirChenjin · 25/01/2017 19:57

The law is on your side in what way - in this specific case?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 25/01/2017 20:00

What law Jiggly?