Should work offer to pay for sitter?

[TheFear]

I work in a client facing role, clients visit our offices for meetings/ workshops perhaps once a quarter on average.
Generally I am expected to bring them out for a meal or a few drinks, mid week. Not every night, maybe once, next week there are 2 events, I am not expected to attend both but certainly should attend 1 of them.

DH feels that work should offer to pay for a sitter and should not assume that he will look after the kids while I am out "enjoying myself".

We both know what is expected of me in my role, part of it is looking after the client outside office hours to some extent.
I like my client and we usually have fun on our nights out so I'm wondering is this what is bugging DH, or does he genuinely have a point? So is he BU or am I, to assume that he will support my work commitments?

Have any of these work outings impacted on any of his plans ? Whilst I think he's BU I suspect he's fed up of these work nights out and rather than just saying that he's picking bones on other issues.

I've never heard of a company paying for a babysitter. He's being an arse.

Of course they cover the cost of the entertaining, not childcare. How very strange he would even think that.

HIBU it's part of your role, it's a handful of times a year. And you don't even need a sitter, he's their father!

My DH often has work dinners and I don't think it ever crossed my mind to think his employers would pay for a babysitter. He would check it worked for me and if I was out too we would make alternative arrangements. It's part of being a couple and being parents surely?

If it was an event that your DH was to accompany you to then yes I'd be considering asking for a contribution (or indeed the whole cost) towards a babysitter for that evening.

However, your DH is at home and is quite able to look after (refuse to say babysitting) his own kids while you are out and about doing your work.
Your DH is being unreasonable in this case.
If the roles were reversed and it was your DH out and about would he be approaching his management asking for money to pay a babysitter? Thought not.

It's called responsibility.

Perhaps DH works should pay me after all DH does nights and Lates sometimes getting home at 11pm.

Sorry, but what? So does he think that your work should pay for all nursery or childminder fees during the daytime? Is he actually for real? Does he have a job himself (or even the remotest understanding of how employer/employee relationships work)? The children are yours and his- not the employer's.

Jeez that's awful of him tbh. I hope that was said with a little bit of jest. Expecting to organise a babysitter when he's there! Awful!

What bollocks.

What if you worked for Tesco and they asked you to cover an evening shift as a one off? Would you expect a sitter to be paid for then?

He won't look after his own kids a couple of nights once a quarter? What a dick!

HIBU, it's not at all normal for work to pay for childcare. For example, do you think teachers get paid childcare for parents' evenings when they'll be in school till 9pm? Do they bollocks!

I would just call him out on his behaviour.

Say you know that he's clearly annoyed you have to entertain (very sporadically I might add!) for work but this is part and parcel of your job. You expect him to be supportive and step up to his parental duties when needed rather than making life unnecessarily difficult.

In short, he's being an arse.

For example, do you think teachers get paid childcare for parents' evenings when they'll be in school till 9pm?
You don't get paid full stop.

😂😂😂 your husband is an idiot. I've never heard of any company ever paying for babysitting. You'd be laughed out the office if you suggested that at my workplace.
Show your husband this thread so he realises how daft he's being.

Work doesn't pay for babysitters. If they did, it would be a taxable benefit. HMRC allows limited childcare support via childcare vouchers. That's it.

Never heard of such a thing! Your DH is definitely BU.

He had said it was common practice for companies to cover the cost of a night out, even if that was to cover babysitting

The only time I've ever seen child care paid for was when we had on overnight two day work event which meant one of our part time staff had to put her DC into nursery for an extra day as a one off, as it was normally not a working day for her.

But not this, no way!

Your DH is being a tool.

I can't imagine this ever being suggested if it was a guy needing to work in the evening and his wife looking after the kids. If this is part of your job then juggling childcare is clearly your responsibility. It would be different if they suddenly expected you to work in the evening with no prior notice when it isn't normally part of your job.

To be fair, perhaps he is an MP and thinks everyone else is also entitled to claim day to day life back on expenses? And it's fair game to invent expenses for the purposes of claiming them.

Agree with others - I've never seen companies pay for babysitters! Would you h think his company had to pay for a sitter if the situation were reversed??

Everyone has said it.

This is about him being pissed off with you for having the temerity to have a job you enjoy. Ask him why he feels he won't enjoy his time with his children while you are out enjoying your work.

Oh my goodness, the sense of entitlement of some people never ceases to amaze me!