Stupid things OH does

[TiredAndRavenous]

Tonight I asked the OH to check on the spaghetti whilst I changed the baby. (A simple task) About 40 seconds after he left the kitchen to "check" said spaghetti I hear a burning noise. He reassures me it's nothing as he's "stirred" the spaghetti, but some was sticking to the bottom of the pan 🤔

I go into the kitchen and his lovely stirred spaghetti is in no water, smoking up a storm in the kitchen 😓😢

Class!

My DH was making roast beef today. He thought he'd follow the Delia method, 20 minutes full blast then lower the heat. After the first 20 minutes, he thought the heat would 'naturally go down' as it sometimes does on busy Sundays (gas, erratic old cooker). It didn't, he didn't check. This from the man whose father thought he could steam asparagus in butter, no water, just butter. DH is normally a better cook than me. Not today!

My son is 14 and he has Aspergers.

I am trying to teach him to cook simple things for himself atm - he's very very clever but no common sense at all - the other day he grated a potato bless him.

Grated potato is perfect for Rosti or hash brown, maybe he was being creative

Last night i packed my other halfs lunch.We had lots of left over chilli so i boiled up some pasta for it and there was some left.I dished up a container full and then dished up a small bowl full for our daughter.Foiled the bowl and popped in the fridge.That way tomorrow she can eat that for dinner ,i told my other half i packed his lunch its in a container.

Fine then realise today that's he took the bowl with foil on to work instead of the adult sized portion in a sealed container >.>

I hardboiled some eggs then put them in the fridge to make a salade niçoise the next day. Went to get them and they'd disappeared. Asked dp what happened to them and he said "I went to make scrambled eggs this morning but when I cracked them they were all hard and weird so I threw them away. They must have gone off or something"

Cherry hahahahahahaha! They must have gone off

OMG Cherry that made me laugh!

Not so much something he does but I did have to inform my DH that potatoes do not count towards your 5 a day. He was most distressed

Cherry thank you! I needed a good laugh today and finally got it. Amazing!

I asked him to hang the washing out once and when I came in the room (to hang it all out properly) he'd also hung the colour catch sheet out to dry.

DH, a chef, chopped the top of his finger off with a new Ikea ceramic knife.

cherry oh my that made me seriously laugh!

Dh took dd downstairs on sat morning (he does weekends so I get a lie in) but usually I make her breakfast when I get up as she isn't really ready for it straight away.
However when I go die to them, dd is sitting in her highchair, beaming, with a breakfast of Ryvita, broken into pieces utterly smothered in peanut butter. It looked like he used a whole jar, and dd was totally covered in it...

Oh this has just cheered me up after a crappy day at work. Last week I asked DH to put the wash on while I was at work one evening. He thought he was being good and helpful and put the washing that was dry and unwashed in the machine straight in the dryer! Only realised when I got home and told him it hasn't even been washed yet

He looked suitably embarrassed when I shouted at explained it to him

My DH was bitching to me about how stupid the pull up nappies are. I agreed they are a bit more awkward to get on. He then comes out with 'it's not so much the putting them on its trying to get them off without getting shit everywhere!' He didn't think to tear the sides.

I had the same pull-up drama with my OH the other week!

Haha funny guys

Another thing my OH has done, I brought one of the old fashioned hob/pan cosy things, that sit nicely and look pretty on the cooker hobs, asked the OH to boil some water in a pan....

He comes in after 5 mins and claims the cooker is not working as the waters not getting warm. I walk into the kitchen and the pan/hob cosy is on fire, like seriously wtf! He turned the wrong ring on.

Looking back now I shouldn't have ever let him back in the kitchen

Not just OH but two other adults were sat in the kitchen with him. I popped up to say goodnight to DD as DH had put her to bed while I made dinner for the adults (us and the 2 guests). I told them that the oven timer was due to go off. DD took longer to put down than expected and when I got back down to the kitchen the oven timer had been turned off, but the lasagne had been left to burn in the oven

XP announced one Sunday that he was going to make 'proper' gravy, not the 'instant crap' that I normally served. I said OK if he knew what he was doing. XP had worked in catering so I assumed it would be fine.

Serving dinner, he offered me some brown grease. I tasted some and it was disgusting, so I asked how he made it.

He'd decanted the meat drippings into the gravy boat, and when it didn't look like gravy he decided to add some Worcestershire sauce 'to make it brown'.

I made some instant crap.

TiredAndRavenous what is this cosy thing you had? If I'm picturing it correctly it's giving me the heebie jeebies, I've already seen several pairs of oven gloves go up in smoke!

These are funny! At home and in pain after an operation and would love to read more but can't think of any to add...

Schwifty it's https://www.millbryhill.co.uk/home-gifts-c7/country-kitchen-c50/kitchen-accessories-c332/sophie-allport-terrier-hob-cover-p6061/s22003?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=cpc&utmterm=sophie-allport-terrier-hob-cover-colour-grey-colour-grey-5060157726678&utmmcampaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&gclid=CIChtf6n2tECFQwaGwodzfMHeg

I believe there actually called aga hob covers x

Basically a thick padded circular piece of fabric :(

This will seriously out me but never mind.
Asked ds1 to put the washing out on the line whilst I was at work. Got home to the washing over the patio and next door neighbours patio. So picked it all up and realised there wasn't any pegs out. I asked him and asked him and he replied 'you only told me to hang it out to dry, you didn't say to peg it out' ffs

Dp cooked pasta for as when we first started seeing each other. Unfortunately he hadn't done it before and by the time he finished we had four saucepans full. Yep the idiot had only put a whole large bag of it in to cook.

One time we were visiting a church and looking at a mosaic of the Virgin Mary. I remarked that, contrary to what some catholics seem to believe, she did not stay a virgin her whole life. I referred to the bible story that mentions that Jesus had brothers.
OH asked "Really? Were they older or younger?" Duh.

Thought of another one, probably outing. XP and I were going to visit his family and he hadn't checked his oil before setting off. The oil light comes on whilst we're halfway up the M6, so we pull in at a service station and buy some oil.

XP proceeds to chuck half the oil into the car. "Aren't you meant to use the dipstick to check when it's right?" I ask.
"No Rhoda, you don't drive so don't ask stupid questions."
He poured the rest of the oil in and we set off up the motorway. Within minutes were engulfed in thick blue smoke.

We had to pull over and get towed to a garage who had to drain the excess oil off.

It turned out XMIL had always done XPs oil and water for him.