To think my baby doesn't like me?

[SadMummyToday]

I have a lovely (almost) 6 mo ds. He hardly cries, chatty, smiley & loves to laugh. Recently I've noticed he laughs and smiles far more at other people than he does at me. My mum was round today and he was gutting himself laughing at something she was doing and I just felt really jealous I'm with him all day and play with him, show him things, read and sing to him. He's meeting all his milestones and is perfectly healthy but I can't help thinking I'm doing something wrong. Why doesn't he like me best? Am I just boring? Stupidly upset about it tonight.

Your face is well known to him!! He is discovering new things all the time and fun with gm is one!! Be glad - when the time comes that she is chief babysitter you will know he is fine!!

He sees you every day. Your mum (and others) who he sees less is probably a bit more of a novelty and therefore captivates him more at this point?

I liked my mother best as a baby, to the point I was hermetically sealed to her and wouldn't let my father do a single thing for me. She said I was a total pain in the arse.

Novelty value? I notice something similar with my four month old - it's such hard work for me to keep her entertained, whereas other people simply need to be in her eyeline and it's fascinating.

Of course he loves you best, you are his Mummy!

Gather yourself together, have a cup of tea and a biscuit, and look forward to a good and happy day tomorrow with your lovely boy.

Don't you worry. You are his rock. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You are his world, even though he may give you his best poker face.
Keep doing what you are doing, it's good.

They are new and exciting to him, also they see him much less so they are always on top form. My mum just plays with my DD for hours. I can't do it!
They still love us loads. I'm starting to see that actually they love loads of people which is good for them as it gives them a positive view of the world and people IMO.

You are his whole world, you are the ground and walls and air and food and water in his universe.

Now, do you take time out of your day to have a conversation with the floor, or do you just get on with enjoying your life safe in the knowledge that the floor can be relied on 100% to always be there?

Of course he adores you, and he knows you well, and you are not much of a novelty to him, and he can take you for granted to some extent. All secure, loved children should be able to take that security and love for granted,

My DD (pfb) was exactly the same, and I was also a little put out- she is now 13m and would be glued to me all day if possible! She obviously loves her other family/friends but it's her mother she wants
So don't worry! This will pass.

I've felt like this a million times.....I'm not sure why it happens but I've been there (and in tears about it)
But it does suddenly change. My DS is now 15mths and I am suddenly hilarious. Having a towel turban after washing my hair will have him in uncontrollable giggles.
Are you still on maternity leave? I definitely feel like I became more important to him when I went back to work.

You are clearly a wonderful mum and of course he loves you best!

If it's really the case that he laughs and smiles more at other people (and I suspect this might be more just your perception than the reality) it's just because other people are more of a novelty. You aren't boring, but you are familiar - and that's a good thing. He is completely comfortable and relaxed with you because you are his mum and the centre of his universe. He adores you. He's at an age where he giggles or smiles at things and people that are new or surprising or that he doesn't see very often - it absolutely doesn't mean he doesn't like you or finds you boring! Your son is obviously a really contented little boy and so much of that is down to you.

How do you feel overall? Are you feeling a bit low or anxious generally? That can really affect the way you see things, especially when you've had a baby less than six months ago, and things that are absolutely fine can suddenly seem really worrying.

When your baby takes you granted, that means you are doing things right.

Away don't be sad. I felt exactly the same with my first and it took me a while to realise that it was because I was always the one feeding, changing, getting her to bed. Just as PP have said it's cos you are always there and his rock. It may not seem it sometimes but he really does love you best

He doesn't need to impress you.

Babies save their shittiest and non-committal behaviour for those they feel safest with.

You've done well :)

I felt like that at times. It's so hard in the first few months and you're just dying for the baby to show that you are the heart of their world as much as they are of yours. In a few short months it'll be clear though.

I do feel a bit better now thanks everyone.
Everything I've read says babies usually start suffering from stranger anxiety around now but he actively seeks out strangers. If we're sitting in a cafe for instance he watches everyone pass to try and catch their eye, as soon as someone looks at him he beams and starts laughing or jabbering at them and I get ignored
Tomorrow I'm going to try and see it as a good thing and just chill about it and enjoy him.

And don't get me started on when daddy comes home

I felt like this and then I went back to work at 6 months and started getting the excited smiles normally reserved for her dad (or strangers). The smiles are great at the end of a tough day but I'd really like to go back to being so part of each other you don't event notice.

Don't underestimate the good points about not being the "favourite" (although im sure you are and you just dont feel it!)

Dd1 who was practically stuck on my boob side for almost 3 years, Well shes now decided that daddy is the clear favourite. Daddy gets called in the night whilst mummy stays asleep but still with dd2 velcroed to her boob. Daddy gets to spend an age putting her to bed whilst mummy gets to sit in peace down stairs watching tv with a cuppa.

Swings and roundabouts

He knows he has you under his spell. He's having to work harder to captivate the others around him. His survival might depend on it (or might have in pre-history!). He's doing his best to maximise his chances. Good lad. Well done, that mother.

user what a beautiful post

Yanbu. My ds is 15mo and I felt like you for months. Can't get rid if the bugger now . Unless Daddy is around. He's a fucking rock star in ds's eyes

6 months you say?

enjoy it, soo he will be bellowing for you and go through the separation anxiety phase. oh my goodness, you will long for today when he laughed at your mum and you could go for a pee in peace.

Totally understand where you are coming from.OP, I felt exactly the same with DS. He is now nearly 1 and every time.he bumps his head when he is trying to walk he needs his mummy and I'm the only one who can make it better. It doesn't always feel.like it but you are their entire world.