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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD? Know wife is cheating on husband, would you tell?

70 replies

dancedancedancedance · 21/01/2017 14:11

We live in a small town and everyone mentioned in this post are acquaintances of mine, I'm friends on Facebook with the husband in this instance who I'll call Mr White.

Mr & Mrs White have been married for a few years with a 5 year old daughter. Mrs White was married to someone else when she got together with Mr White - was a long term affair. This was big news in our town for a while after it happened. There were also several other men linked to her while she was married previously and she got a bit of a name for herself. What was true and what was malicious gossip I don't know.

Fast forward a few years and I get told Mrs White is now having an affair with one of the town's serial philanderers who I'll call Mr P. I've known Mr P a long time and had first hand experience of his sleazy ways after he tried very hard to get me to go home with him not long after I was married. He knows my husband very well. I've spent a lot of time in his company and know his god awful views on women and the way he treats them as he's not shy about "boasting" about his exploits.

I was out a few months ago and bumped into Mr P who gave me this sob story about how he'd broken up with the live of his life who he'd been having an affair with for over 2 years but she broke it off because she couldn't do that to her daughter i.e. split up the family.

However since then I've heard a couple of instances where people have mentioned that Mrs White and Mr P have been in each others company again Hmm Mr White is on Facebook often and talk about what he's up to with Mrs White etc etc. All very innocuous.

The problem is I like Mr White and think he's being taken for a mug!! She is not a nice person. However they got together by having an affair... Also he may already know, I have to say that New White and Mr P are NOT subtle about it. It's fucking embarrassing.

So. WWYD?? Keep schtum?? The messenger always gets shot...

OP posts:
AuroraBora · 21/01/2017 14:18

They are acquaintances, keep schtum.

If it were your best friend I'd say tell him, but not in this case.

Flossyfloof · 21/01/2017 14:21

I think you should mind your own business.

DeathStare · 21/01/2017 14:22

You know nothing except some gossip and putting two and two together and getting six. Keep your nose out.

Peregrina · 21/01/2017 14:24

Keep out of it. If you are in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business, then Mr White will find out soon enough anyway.

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2017 14:25

You know nothing for a fact, for gods sake, you can't go making assumptions then go ruining people's marriages. Ffs.

dancedancedancedance · 21/01/2017 14:25

I know it's none of my business but I see Mr White quite often and we always have a good chat and all the time I'm thinking about his wife having an affair and I think he's none the wiser! It's just wrong that everyone else knows, is talking about it and he probably has no idea Sad

OP posts:
dancedancedancedance · 21/01/2017 14:26

I think it's pretty concrete since Mr P told me....

OP posts:
SammyM016 · 21/01/2017 14:28

But you have no proof and you are just an acquaintance in a small town! Stop being so nosy and concentrate on your own life! Do you want to become dragged into a drama, are you bored? Because you will be dragged in if you go shooting your mouth off.

formerbabe · 21/01/2017 14:28

How do you know he doesn't know?

Anyway, I personally think it's best to not get involved in other people's relationships.

SammyM016 · 21/01/2017 14:30

Mr P could be talking shit.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/01/2017 14:32

I'd just turn a blind eye. Mr White may not thank you for being the bearer of bad news. What the eye doesn't see. The heart doesn't grieve over.
Yes it will be uncovered one day, but until them let him live in blissful ignorance.
Plus when it comes down it. With much respect. Its none of your business.

Rixera · 21/01/2017 14:33

He might know anyway. There may be some kind of agreement.

barinatxe · 21/01/2017 14:34

Got proof, tell him. Not got proof, find it or keep quiet.

EmeraldScorn · 21/01/2017 14:36

I'm like a broken record on here but.... Mind your own business!

That is my advice.

TSSDNCOP · 21/01/2017 14:36

I would give this one a nice, big swerve.

Maybe Mr P is winding you up, and if he is you'll come ver as the bearer of gossip. Disclaimer I've seen this actually happen IRL when a Mrs White and Mr P decided to have a little mischief.

Andrewofgg · 21/01/2017 14:37

MYOB

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 21/01/2017 14:37

If "everyone" is talking about it, it's likely Mr White already knows.

Leave them to it.

Finola1step · 21/01/2017 14:38

Mr P could be talking shit.
Mr White may know.

If it was a best friend, brother, dh's best man at your wedding etc type of relationship, I would tell. But acquaintances, keep schtum.

Look at it this way, if you know then it is a matter of time that this all unravels anyway.

TheNaze73 · 21/01/2017 14:40

Only you can decide however the often repeated rhetoric on here appears to be "if I was being cheated on, I'd want to know"

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/01/2017 14:43

Yes. Who's to say. They don't have an open relationship. They're not as uncommon as you might think

TempusEedjit · 21/01/2017 14:44

Seeing as Mr and Mrs White got together via an affair then I'm sure Mr W is aware of what his wife is capable of. Leave well alone.

mumofthemonsters808 · 21/01/2017 14:49

No, please don't get involved, it's none of your business. Although it's awful watching a good person being taken the piss out of, it's not your place to interfere and no one will thank you for it. As far as you know Mr White already knows and is prepared to turn a blind eye to his wife's infidelity because he loves her.

A friend of ours is sleeping with someone's wife and I really like her husband, he too is a kind, good looking, decent man and for the life of me I can't understand why she is risking her relationship with her lovely husband to be with our prick friend. Her husband adores her and she doesn't deserve him.It's not my place to referee this love triangle though.

mumofthemonsters808 · 21/01/2017 14:51

Not my place

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/01/2017 14:54

Not your place to tell.

ILoveDolly · 21/01/2017 14:55

As others have said, you don't know the full story. As you dont really have any reason to get involved, don't! A small town, things will come out anyway and you don't need to be mixed up in it when they do......