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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think nhs school height / weight check is useless

319 replies

Ellieboolou27 · 21/01/2017 08:17

Dd is 4.5 she's 3ft 7" and weighs 3st 9lb

The school did the height and weight check a few weeks ago and have sent a letter saying she is very overweight and they would like me to come in to discuss healthy eating.

I'm really shocked as dd is far from being very overweight
She does tap, swimming and multi sports weekly, as a family we eat normal family meals, she wears size 5-6 clothes, 6-7 in some shops like primark where they come up small.

She's certainly not skinny, but most certainly not very overweight!

I think this bmi checker is shit, according to the NHS online bmi checker my dh is obese, he is 6ft 2" and weighs 16st but is an ex body builder so is a big guy with not an ounce of fat on him.

Feeling awful Sad

OP posts:
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5
Keepingupwiththejonesys · 21/01/2017 15:03

I don't think people can blame school dinners on their child being overweight. I had school dinners and when I had them they where a lot worse, think twizlers. Its one meal a day, five days a week. If you're concerned they're eating a lot at school either give them a packed lunch or if that's not an option give them a smaller evening meal.

EweAreHere · 21/01/2017 15:26

To put it in a bit more perspective, OP, my 7 year old DD is 6 inches taller than your daughter and 10 pounds lighter.

megletthesecond · 21/01/2017 15:26

School meals and snacks are only approx 25% of a child's weekly food intake. Even if the school gives the dc's some 'junk' food it can be balanced out by what the child eats at home.

HelenaDove · 21/01/2017 15:45

glowstick my legs are a bit bigger than they should be. They still are despite losing ten stone.

30 years ago back at school (before the weight gain) i was called tree trunk legs.

Turns out i have lipodema inherited from my dads side of the family.

JoandMax · 21/01/2017 15:46

It's hard to hear things about your children which make you feel you've 'failed' in some way and it's easier to be in denial than face up to there being a problem. But it's a good thing that you've been made aware and that there are things you can do to help.

I also definitely think our perception of 'normal' has changed and has really skewed how we view children's size. DS1 is pretty much exactly 50th centile for BMI yet I get a lot of comments that he's on the skinny side and I would guess most people I know would put him lower than average. He's definitely one of the slightest of his friends and I know a lot of parents were surprised by letters we got home recently about BMI. And there was a lot of 'oh but he's sporty', 'his dads tall', 'we're all like that in our family', 'he was a big baby'..........

Artandco · 21/01/2017 15:49

I don't think school dinner is to blame either. The portions are small, regardless of content. And they only eat for 5 meals a week out of 21 meals. And not at all for all the holidays (about 4months of the year).

Hercules12 · 21/01/2017 16:29

Agree about changing views. At primaryour school, midday supervisors tried to make dd eat all her lunch whereas she just stopped eating when full. I had to complain to make the stop. They thought she was underweight. She isn't at all and was seem and weighed regularly b the hosptial for unrelated issue and her consultant wasn't concerned. He was 25 centile.

Hercules12 · 21/01/2017 16:30

Apologies for typos. Bloody phone.

Natsku · 21/01/2017 16:31

Healthier school dinners would help a lot though, especially getting rid of the puddings as it sets up the expectation that pudding should be a daily thing and that's not good for keeping to a healthy weight.

School dinners where I am are things like fish soup with rye bread and fresh veggies, chicken and rice with green salad, herring fillets with potatoes and cabbage. Every week has at least one vegetarian meal and one fish meal.

seafoodeatit · 21/01/2017 16:44

Natsku UK schools also have at least one fish and one vegetarian meal day or at least that's what's done in my county.

There is only so much schools can do, they have to conform to regulations on salt, sugar and having a certain of fruit and vegetables and they're nothing compared to 10 years ago but their budgets are very restricted, if they introduced a monetary supplement to provide very high quality meals then there'd be issues of parental affordability.

Changednamesorry · 21/01/2017 16:46

my almost 6 year old is 2lb lighter and 11cm taller - he also has high muscle mass so weighs heavy for his size. I do think it is important to keep a realistic view - your daughter is overweight and it is n't good for her - but you can solve it now.

How much exercise does she do? And what is she eating? My kid eats like a horse (literally - eats almost adult sized portions of food) but he runs around all day long, football twice a week, swimming once a week, dancing once a week, walks a mile to school and back, running round the playground at dinnertime etc. And the food he eats is meat, vegetables, fruits - and yes - now and again chocolate or a donut but by no means every day. I know all kids are different but honestly I believe that if where possible you can insist on kids finishing the healthy food on their plate and encouraging them to run about as much as possible it is the solution to these problems. Also - no snacking. It really isn't necessary. Mid morning break my son has an apple, before football he has a banana. There are kids taking 6 oreos into school for the same purpose.

Changednamesorry · 21/01/2017 16:47

pudding at my son's school in spain is only ever fruit or a yoghurt.

Ferrisday · 21/01/2017 17:16

Interestingly I just put my sons details in.
He's overweight, just. but I acccidentally ticked the box for girl, and if he was a girl with those measurements he would be ok
How does that work?!

early30smum · 21/01/2017 17:27

It can be upsetting to hear the truth. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as a society we are getting 'used' to seeing overweight kids- they are becoming the new 'normal' and kids we think of as 'skinny' are actually perfectly healthy. I am overweight and have struggled all my life, but am trying to get it under control. My DD is 7 3/4 and I have so far managed to keep her weight well within the healthy bmi range. She does a huge amount of sport, but I also (subtly) limit her intake of rubbish food, and if I notice she's putting on a bit of weight, there will mysteriously be no crisps in the cupboard, snacks go back to just fruit etc. I never mention it as a weight thing, but more a health than thing- i.e. 'Oh you've had quite a lot of sugar recently so it might be better to have fruit or veg for a while' etc. Luckily she is an amazing eater and will happily eat plates of fruit and veg, meat, fish etc and actively dislikes fish fingers, burgers, etc. But she loves her chocolate! It's all about control. You buy the food. Except with children with severe eating issues, there is no excuse for feeding your child rubbish. Also portion size. I weigh out my DC's portions for things like pasta and rice, mainly to avoid waste but also because they are really nowhere near as much as you'd think they'd need! Childhood obesity is a huge crisis and I will not have my kids part of it.

early30smum · 21/01/2017 17:29

Oh yes and snacks! DD has to take in a snack for break at school- it's supposed to be fruit or veg but loads of kids take in crap. I make her take fruit or veg- but loads don't. Why not just follow the rules?! So annoying.

Natsku · 21/01/2017 18:18

Just measured DD's waist, 50cm and she's 113cm tall so she's alright by that measure but she's certainly starting to look 'thicker' in the arms and legs than she used to though her ribs are still clearly visible. She eats too much junk that's for sure, I really need to cut that down.

Nicketynac · 21/01/2017 18:18

My DS (was 4 at the time) is overweight. We noticed at the end of summer that he needed bigger tops to be long enough to cover his tummy, yet they flapped around his arms. We weighed and measured him and were horrified to realise he was obese! It was like a lightbulb moment - suddenly it was clear that he was much chubbier than all of his friends.
We cut down on snacks at first, then meal portions, then tackled the grandparents! We enrolled him in after school clubs and make more of an effort to be active at weekends.
He is now "very overweight" and looks much better already, plus he is a lot fitter. We can even see a rib or two when he stretches Grin Fingers crossed he will be just "overweight" in a month or two.
OP - look closely at your daughter's friends for comparison.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 21/01/2017 18:23

OP - look closely at your daughter's friends for comparison.

Problem with this is that so many kids are overweight it won't look different or stand out.

StealthPolarBear · 21/01/2017 18:25

Can I just point out its nothing to do with the nhs

Potentialpoochowner · 21/01/2017 18:32

I think your best bet is to book an appointment for her with your gp to get a more accurate assessment of whether there is a problem or not.

Just for comparison. I was skin and bones as a child and am now fat. My brother, who was a bit of a chubster is now slim. Complete anecdotal evidence I know, but I do think you need to seek the opinion of a qualified professional who examines your daughter in more detail.

Potentialpoochowner · 21/01/2017 18:36

I have to say, I am finding school meals and school in general a real problem in terms of healthy eating. It's a waste of time putting leaflets about healthy eating in book bags when stodgy puddings are offered every day as standard.

lovelearning · 21/01/2017 18:36

Just measured DD's waist, 50cm and she's 113cm tall

Waist/height ratio: 0.4425 Star (Less than 0.5 is healthy)

Here's a calculator www.health-calc.com/body-composition/waist-to-height-ratio

altiara · 21/01/2017 20:54

Does anyone know when the Y6 letters were due out? I am sure my DD is overweight but haven't received a letter. She's always had a big tummy and big thighs but everyone always says she's fine.

TattiePants · 21/01/2017 21:53

We received our Y6 letter on Wednesday.

Mari50 · 21/01/2017 22:42

One of my DD's friends received a letter like this, her mum was equally horrified. The little girl is very overweight though, she's taller than average but carrying a lot of weight too. It's a shame as I've known her since she was 3 and watched her get bigger and bigger. She came for a play date and I've never seen a 7 year old pack away food so fast. Portion size is totally the issue here. Parents seem completely oblivious, they talk about how tall she is but seem blind to the stone overweight.

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