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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nhs school height / weight check is useless

319 replies

Ellieboolou27 · 21/01/2017 08:17

Dd is 4.5 she's 3ft 7" and weighs 3st 9lb

The school did the height and weight check a few weeks ago and have sent a letter saying she is very overweight and they would like me to come in to discuss healthy eating.

I'm really shocked as dd is far from being very overweight
She does tap, swimming and multi sports weekly, as a family we eat normal family meals, she wears size 5-6 clothes, 6-7 in some shops like primark where they come up small.

She's certainly not skinny, but most certainly not very overweight!

I think this bmi checker is shit, according to the NHS online bmi checker my dh is obese, he is 6ft 2" and weighs 16st but is an ex body builder so is a big guy with not an ounce of fat on him.

Feeling awful Sad

OP posts:
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5
FurryLittleTwerp · 21/01/2017 11:05

It was me, noeffing

Look at Hattie Jacques in the Carry On series too - she was certainly large but still quite shapely. Everyone else was slim. Even Barbara Windsor who was seen as enormously busty when her top flew off in the camping one just looks slim with smallish boobs now.

Clothing manufacturers make "fatter" clothes now which "normalises" fatness. You couldn't buy anything to fit in the past, unless you went to Outsize shops, & fabrics were nothing like as stretchy.

seven201 · 21/01/2017 11:11

Can you see her ribs? That's meant to be a good indicator I believe. Sounds like a good idea to have a word with your mum about the snacks and well done for taking on the school about the cereal. Maybe look at her portion sizes too. Good luck.

SuburbanRhonda · 21/01/2017 11:28

In contrast no one considered David Bowie or Karen Carpenter to be excessively thin or out of the ordinary.

Are you sure about Karen Carpenter? She had anorexia so the diagnosis must have been made on the basis of her being dangerously underweight.

lovelearning · 21/01/2017 11:30

According to Jamie Oliver, we should forget about BMI and use a piece of string: Keep your waist circumference to less than half your height.

Ellieboolou27, what's your daughter's waist measurement?

www.jamiesfoodrevolution.org/news/how-long-is-piece-of-string-less-than-half-a-childs-height-if-we-want-to-improve-public-health/

lovelearning · 21/01/2017 11:31

*Keep your waist circumference less than half your height.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 21/01/2017 11:37

Lots of karen carpenters close friends knew there was a weight issue, they jusy didnt know what anorexia and bulimia were at that point.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 21/01/2017 11:42

I worry about this for the future as DS is nearly one and 98th percentile. He has always been big, HV saw him a few weeks ago and said she has no concerns as he is in proportion and still little but I worry that I'm going to he that patent getting a letter home Blush

MuseumGardens · 21/01/2017 12:02

Sue Lawley asked Karen Carpenter in a TV interview if she had anorexia. KC wasn't very happy to be put on the spot like that understandably. Sad

candycoatedwaterdrops · 21/01/2017 12:17

YABU. I'm sure your daughter is a lovely, gorgeous child with lots of nice personality traits. However, it does sound like she is overweight and perhaps you can start looking at changes. She's young enough that you can make changes without it becoming an issue. I wouldn't call her "fat" (which is a horrible term to use about a child) or "not normal" but she is above the healthy weight range and that does need to be addressed. Children don't build muscle in the same way as male rugby players. Being in denial won't help her. Looking at exercise, healthy snacks and encouraging her to cook will help.

SuburbanRhonda · 21/01/2017 12:23

I hardly think Jamie Oliver's in any position to lecture people about being chubby.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 21/01/2017 12:36

I refused permission for both of mine to be weighed at school. My son was than the average child 90th percentile for both weight and length. He towered over the other children in his class. I was fed up with health visitors constantly going he's a big lad so drew my line in the sand. My daughter on the other hand was tall and very skinny. If she gets sick and can't eat, she's almost skeletal within a week as she has no spare weight to lose. She was making worrying comments about her tummy, was she fat, did she need to lose weight. No way was I allowing school to focus more attention on weight
However, my primary reason for refusing is that I have an issue with their presumed consent. You don't actually tacitly give permission for this activity to be carried out on your child. You go to the gp, the gp asks if they can examine e the child. Same at the dentist. Same at the health visitor, the midwife, vaccinations. In fact any and every other NHS interaction with your child requires the parent to give tacit, explicit consent. But not this one. So if the letter is lost, or you're away, or your child has been off school so the letter didn't get home, an NHS check can be carried out without you knowing until it's been done. Silence is not consent.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 21/01/2017 12:44

Keep your waist circumference to less than half your height.

So no man should have waist size of 30" or more unless he is over 6'? do you really think it is that simple?

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 21/01/2017 12:46

Ignore my last comment was doing two things at once and maths went haywire!!

manicinsomniac · 21/01/2017 13:03

I agree with you that your child doesn't look 'very overweight' in that picture - but she also looks about 10 years old I would say (hard to tell without a face obviously but I would certainly never guess that she was under 8 let alone 4!)

I'm not enough of an expert to say whether it is a problem for a 4 year old's body to resemble one twice her age or more but I think I would probably seek advice.

However, I don't like too big a thing being made of children's weights. They develop at such different rates and are so vulnerable to being made obsessive and unhappy with themselves.

I don't know where the line comes between taking needed action and just letting healthy children develop naturally.

FurryLittleTwerp · 21/01/2017 13:09

Pizzas 60" is 5' not 6' Smile

FurryLittleTwerp · 21/01/2017 13:09

oh sorry - just seen you'd twigged Grin

RupertsMum2 · 21/01/2017 13:19

I refused permission for ds2 to be weighed in P7 at his request. He said he would refuse anyway but that I could save him the embarrassment of having to do this. The school nurse phoned me and tried to get me to change my mind. She was really pretty horrible. He would have come up as overweight but I was aware of this and dealing with it. He has ASD and has issues with food. He is now 19, 6ft and a healthy weight but it didn't happen by itself.

OP Its great that you are taking on board that there may be a problem and looking at ways to deal with it. I agree that there may be too many Nanny treats and portion size can be difficult to gage. Ds3 often gets annoyed to be given less than his brothers. But they are 21 & 19 and don't snack either so if he got the same as them he would be huge.

SeahorsesSwim · 21/01/2017 13:22

Yanbu. I think there should be more focus on healthy meals in school. At dc school there's barely any veg served, just baked beans or sweetcorn. Often they're give ice cream for pudding at lunchtime Confused

I've always fed dc healthily at home but the weight gain was after school started. I wouldn't say very overweight though.

SeahorsesSwim · 21/01/2017 13:24

Also if the government is bothered about childhood obesity why don't they fund mandatory PE sessions for an hour twice a week after school?

midcenturymodern · 21/01/2017 13:27

I agree school food and PE is a bit shit but the government can't decide whether to be bothered about obesity or not if they don't measure the kids in the first place.
Parents have a much bigger impact on their childs wight than the school.

WellErrr · 21/01/2017 13:34

All these parents in denial over their overweight children is so sad. Genuinely.

MuseumGardens · 21/01/2017 14:01

I hardly think Jamie Oliver's in any position to lecture people about being chubby. Grin

GieryFas · 21/01/2017 14:22

OP Well done for taking it on the chin. Your dd doesn't even need to notice the changes you'll make. Things like smaller plates and bowls (we have side plates and rice bowls for the kids to use as main course plates and cereal bowls), only ever giving one piece of fruit as a snack (and only one snack mid morning and one mid afternoon) and never doing puddings / yoghurt / fruit as an extra after meals are all quite easy to do in a 'oh, didn't buy any biscuits, do you want an apple?' type way.

KatharinaRosalie · 21/01/2017 14:25

There are so many Daily Mail style sadface articles about the same issue. Mother usually 'outraged' when her 'sporty and active' son/daughter is labelled overweight by 'nanny state'.

And I don't remember any, where you could actually agree that it's all bollocks and the kid is not overweight the slightest. Even when they of course try to find flattering photos, but still, a child with double chin, chunky thighs and pot belly might be sporty and active, but they are also overweight.

And overweight children are 5 times more likely to be overweight adults, so in most cases it really isn't puppy weight that they will grow out of.

But luckily, it's a lot easier to tackle the problem at that stage. As someone said earlier, just reduce portions, add activities and they don't even need to lose weight, they'll grow into it.